004 - If You Can't Beat 'Em...

[mercwamouth]

[Deadpool appears on the Plane at attention, saluting with his right hand. He's a little worse for wear. He's got a lot of cuts and bullet holes throughout his body, but even more in his clothes as the bullet wounds begin to heal. He lowers his hand and relaxes.]

OK, I guess now's a good time to take a breather after that unbelievable success.

[Success? What are you talking about? You just defected!]

[Well that's what he said to the Skrulls. Trust me, it's all part of the plan.]

[Right, and I guess getting schooled by a Super-Skrull was part of the plan too?]

Absolutely flawless.

[I scare me. And what makes you think the Skrulls will even let you defect? You just maimed some of their best soldiers and held a ranking officer at gunpoint!]

[It wasn't a REAL gun.]

[Even so, I have a bad feeling about this. Can we stay here for a while?]

[But last time you couldn't wait to leave.]

[If I knew our plan was to fight an entire platoon of Skrulls head on and then give up at the very end, I probably wouldn't have been so eager. I still don't like this place, it's just... mildly more tolerable than the alternative.]

Admit it... we like it here.

[Deadpool starts pacing and proceeds to pick out bullets to aid the healing factor while whistling "Put the Lime in the Coconut"]

Comments

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

... Whoa, man, you got shot up bad.

[mercwamouth]

[Plucks out a bullet, letting its wound close up]

...You should see the other guy.

[crowheaded.livejournal.com]

[watches with some strange, morbid kind of fascination]

Looks like you don't have anything to worry about, though.

[mercwamouth]

Ooh, here comes the fun part!

[About half a dozen bullets all pop out simultaneously and clatter on the floor. Deadpool lets out a pleasurable sigh of relief.]

[harmonixerdemon.livejournal.com]

Damn, you can heal that much that fast?

[mercwamouth]

Once I healed my entire body from just a hand. This is no problem.

[contract_star]

...I take it it didn't go well?

[mercwamouth]

Au contraire mon frere! It just so happens I have the Skrulls right where I want them.

[contract_star]

...Right. Looks more like you've surrendered.

[mercwamouth]

What in the world would give you that idea?

[Laughs nervously]

[marthajonesmd.livejournal.com]

[uh...] I think you need medical attention.

[mercwamouth]

Why? So a doctor could look at me, see me miraculously heal, and then take all the credit and charge me $500?

God, I'm proud to be an American.

[marthajonesmd.livejournal.com]

[raised eyebrow] Yes, well, some countries have socialised health care, and that's really not the point, seeing as how you're bleeding all over the Plane. [Martha is not so good at paying attention sometimes]

[mercwamouth]

What, so you want to get a doctor to come clean it up? Seems kind of like a waste of their talent, don't you think?

[Suddenly grabs his neck as though there was a sharp pain. He then places both of his hands on his head and quickly CRACKS it to the left, shaking out a few bullets in the process.]

Man, if I was more kid-friendly, all my enemies would be using lasers. I like lasers. So much cleaner.

[madamemoiselle]

Well, I would hope that you like it here. Ne, it's a good place to come if something bad happens at home, after all!

[mercwamouth]

...You showed me that, didn't you?

[madamemoiselle]

I suppose so. It's not so bad, though. I think it would have been worse if I had stayed home and died alone, you know?

[mercwamouth]

Yeah, we probably wouldn't be chatting here if you had.

[got-the-stones.livejournal.com]

Back from kicking butt?

[mercwamouth]

Hells yes! I even had their head honcho on the ropes right before I came here.

[got-the-stones.livejournal.com]

[Smiiiiirk.] Uh-huh.

[mercwamouth]

Oh, what? Now you can read half-truths too? Damn, I gotta start hopping in the air when I lie to you.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

...shouldn't you be getting that looked at?

[mercwamouth]

You seem to be looking at it right now. Maybe you should look a little closer.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

I think I'll be alright. I meant by a medic, or something.