realityshifted | 004 - If You Can't Beat 'Em...

[Deadpool appears on the Plane at attention, saluting with his right hand. He's a little worse for wear. He's got a lot of cuts and bullet holes throughout his body, but even more in his clothes as the bullet wounds begin to heal. He lowers his hand and relaxes.]

OK, I guess now's a good time to take a breather after that unbelievable success.

[Success? What are you talking about? You just defected!]

[Well that's what he said to the Skrulls. Trust me, it's all part of the plan.]

[Right, and I guess getting schooled by a Super-Skrull was part of the plan too?]

Absolutely flawless.

[I scare me. And what makes you think the Skrulls will even let you defect? You just maimed some of their best soldiers and held a ranking officer at gunpoint!]

[It wasn't a REAL gun.]

[Even so, I have a bad feeling about this. Can we stay here for a while?]

[But last time you couldn't wait to leave.]

[If I knew our plan was to fight an entire platoon of Skrulls head on and then give up at the very end, I probably wouldn't have been so eager. I still don't like this place, it's just... mildly more tolerable than the alternative.]

Admit it... we like it here.

[Deadpool starts pacing and proceeds to pick out bullets to aid the healing factor while whistling "Put the Lime in the Coconut"]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Dammit, Deadpool! She's from a kid's show! She can't handle all this existentialism!]

But enslaving people like that is never okay!

I never said the Skrulls intended to enslave anybody. You should hear their pitch. They say they wanna be peaceful and junk.

Or were you talking about the Fire Nation? In which case, do you think the bulk of the Fire Nation knows about how their enemies are treated? They're living decent lives and their only worry is whether or not you guys are going to ruin everything. To them, you're the invading bad guys.

Perspective, honey.

You said they're taking over the world. How is that any different?

So what are you saying? We shouldn't try to change things, just because the people in the Fire Nation are too dumb to find out what's really going on?

And don't talk to me about perspective. I see things how they are. It's not like everyone in the Fire Nation is evil and everyone else is good. The Fire Nation attacked the Air Nomads for no reason, same with the Water Tribes. But we have a reason for fighting back. Even if the Fire Nation thinks they're right, they're not, because what they're doing is wrong. And that's all there is to it.

Trying to take over the world just means taking control. Who knows? They might be nice and use that control to make humans suck less.

And you can go ahead and take down the Fire Lord, and you're totally right in doing it, but to the people who don't know the whole story, you are about as scary as the Skrulls.

My point is, who's to say the Skrulls aren't doing what you're doing? Maybe they see humans as corrupt and enslaved already and want to free us like you want to free your world.

Picking sides is tough and often a matter of time and place. That's why I try to be... open about it.

[He means selling out to the highest bidder.]

[I prefer to call it nihilism.]

[...And suddenly gets it. Bitterly,] Oh right. 'Cause you're a mercenary.

Exactly. Who am I to judge which side is right? Or even if there is a right side?

All I know is, I'm good at what I do and I need money. Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun.

I could care less who I'm fighting for. It's all the same to a killer.

[You can sense that the last part isn't entirely truthful. Particularly when he refers to himself as a "killer".]

[Headtilt.] You're lying. You do care, don't you?

...Fine. So maybe I'm just playin' devil's advocate here. But the fact remains that I'm chillin' with the Skrulls. It's... what I need to do.

...Alright. Whatever you say.

Exactly. Whatever I say.

004 - If You Can't Beat 'Em...

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