004 - If You Can't Beat 'Em...

[mercwamouth]

[Deadpool appears on the Plane at attention, saluting with his right hand. He's a little worse for wear. He's got a lot of cuts and bullet holes throughout his body, but even more in his clothes as the bullet wounds begin to heal. He lowers his hand and relaxes.]

OK, I guess now's a good time to take a breather after that unbelievable success.

[Success? What are you talking about? You just defected!]

[Well that's what he said to the Skrulls. Trust me, it's all part of the plan.]

[Right, and I guess getting schooled by a Super-Skrull was part of the plan too?]

Absolutely flawless.

[I scare me. And what makes you think the Skrulls will even let you defect? You just maimed some of their best soldiers and held a ranking officer at gunpoint!]

[It wasn't a REAL gun.]

[Even so, I have a bad feeling about this. Can we stay here for a while?]

[But last time you couldn't wait to leave.]

[If I knew our plan was to fight an entire platoon of Skrulls head on and then give up at the very end, I probably wouldn't have been so eager. I still don't like this place, it's just... mildly more tolerable than the alternative.]

Admit it... we like it here.

[Deadpool starts pacing and proceeds to pick out bullets to aid the healing factor while whistling "Put the Lime in the Coconut"]

Comments

[mercwamouth]

...I mean that I've realized that I'm an outsider and I always will be. People can try to relate and understand, but in the end they can't quite grasp it. But even so, the world needs people like me... us...

We didn't sign up for the job, but someone's gotta do it.

Go ahead and find what happiness you can. Just don't be naive and assume that it will be around forever...

...And for people like us, forever is very real.

[madamemoiselle]

So in the end, I gave up forever so that I could please someone now. {This obviously troubles her more than a little, since her voice cracks}

Ne...Amshel, he won't be with me anymore. I'll be alone.

[mercwamouth]

What the hell's wrong with you?

[!?]

Why the fuck are you listening to me? I'm crazy!

[We're not crazy.]

What do I know?

[madamemoiselle]

...{Just smiles softly} That would be because I don't know who to listen to anymore.

[mercwamouth]

Well don't listen to me! I've had a crappy life! I have a pessimistic view of the world! Asking me for advice is like asking a five-year-old to help you study for Calculus!

[madamemoiselle]

Since I don't know what calculus is, I'll assume that that's a silly thing to do. Ne, but...I'm sorry.

[mercwamouth]

No! Don't apologize! This isn't your fault! Jeez! I'm the one yelling about nothing!

[madamemoiselle]

Then don't yell.

[mercwamouth]

Can't help it.