realityshifted | 004 - If You Can't Beat 'Em...

[Deadpool appears on the Plane at attention, saluting with his right hand. He's a little worse for wear. He's got a lot of cuts and bullet holes throughout his body, but even more in his clothes as the bullet wounds begin to heal. He lowers his hand and relaxes.]

OK, I guess now's a good time to take a breather after that unbelievable success.

[Success? What are you talking about? You just defected!]

[Well that's what he said to the Skrulls. Trust me, it's all part of the plan.]

[Right, and I guess getting schooled by a Super-Skrull was part of the plan too?]

Absolutely flawless.

[I scare me. And what makes you think the Skrulls will even let you defect? You just maimed some of their best soldiers and held a ranking officer at gunpoint!]

[It wasn't a REAL gun.]

[Even so, I have a bad feeling about this. Can we stay here for a while?]

[But last time you couldn't wait to leave.]

[If I knew our plan was to fight an entire platoon of Skrulls head on and then give up at the very end, I probably wouldn't have been so eager. I still don't like this place, it's just... mildly more tolerable than the alternative.]

Admit it... we like it here.

[Deadpool starts pacing and proceeds to pick out bullets to aid the healing factor while whistling "Put the Lime in the Coconut"]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...So what are you up to these days?

Oh, not a whole lot. I've been trying to get an agent for modeling or singing, or something like that, but I haven't met one that I like yet. Otherwise...I've just been here, or at home. I'm living on my own, so it's different.

Is it nice to leave all that messy stuff behind?

Maybe. It's not all gone, though. I've spent my whole life being a "monster", so that isn't going to change any time soon, to be honest.

Ah, but it's not like I'll be doing those kinds of things for other people just because anymore. Like since Hei is living with me now, we had to kill a few people chasing after them, but that's different. It's protecting what's mine.

I'm not really in it for protection or whatever. I just figure if I'm gonna be a monster, someone might as well pay me for it.

Ah, you're a mercenary, that's right! I'd forgotten. Ne, but I've never really liked money. It's useful, but really, the things humans do to have it amazes me.

It's not so amazing, they just know that money equals power in the human world. Money doesn't care if you're good or evil and everyone needs it.

No, it's amazing. People are willing to do the most horrible things for money, and even more for power. They think that it'll make them happy, but then once they have it, they realize they're miserable. It's their own fault.

{Simply} I have both of those things, but I'd trade them both if I could just live quietly and be loved.

It's not about being happy. It's about being important.

People like us aren't given the choice to live happy lives. The sooner we accept that, the better off we'll be.

We can fall in love and pretend that we have a shot at normal happy lives, but it can't work because in the end, it's not what we were made to be.

I can't believe that, though. Because that would mean that everyone here, they're worthless. It'd mean that I gave up everything I had for the chance. So, if that were true, then I should have just died after all.

You still have the chance at a new life, but you're still you. We're still monsters.

You have a better shot than me. At least you don't look like a monster. But you can't deny who or what you are.

Well! Even so, if I can just find a person that can love a monster, then it's alright.

Ah, you hardly look like a monster, though! A monster, it's something more like...{She laughs} Like a Chiropteran, I guess! That's what I really look like, but that form, it's so ugly that I've forgotten how to change to that one at all.

I've tried to find people who can love monsters. They either end up being monsters too or I scare them away. That's what I mean. I can try to be a nice guy and fall in love like everyone else, but sooner or later, my ugly side shows up.

...So then, it's pointless?

...I mean that I've realized that I'm an outsider and I always will be. People can try to relate and understand, but in the end they can't quite grasp it. But even so, the world needs people like me... us...

We didn't sign up for the job, but someone's gotta do it.

Go ahead and find what happiness you can. Just don't be naive and assume that it will be around forever...

...And for people like us, forever is very real.

So in the end, I gave up forever so that I could please someone now. {This obviously troubles her more than a little, since her voice cracks}

Ne...Amshel, he won't be with me anymore. I'll be alone.

What the hell's wrong with you?

[!?]

Why the fuck are you listening to me? I'm crazy!

[We're not crazy.]

What do I know?

...{Just smiles softly} That would be because I don't know who to listen to anymore.

Well don't listen to me! I've had a crappy life! I have a pessimistic view of the world! Asking me for advice is like asking a five-year-old to help you study for Calculus!

Since I don't know what calculus is, I'll assume that that's a silly thing to do. Ne, but...I'm sorry.

No! Don't apologize! This isn't your fault! Jeez! I'm the one yelling about nothing!

Then don't yell.

Can't help it.

004 - If You Can't Beat 'Em...

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