realityshifted | (no subject)

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life on mars (d1) sam tyler

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[Suffering severe trauma leads to taking an holiday. Taking an holiday leads to intense boredom. And intense boredom leads to ~~the Dark Side~~ Sam Tyler in a waist apron]

Fumie, we're having pasta alla carbonara tonight.

And, uh, if anyone else is hungry... I have a lot of spare time right now. [muttered] Can't believe the satellite and the internet went out at the same time...

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[pauses, tempted to hug him but doesn't] You're not so broken that you can't be fixed. [smiles slightly] You know, in my fourth, I died from falling off a high tower? Still can't stand heights. But I've gotten over it, I suppose. I had to climb the Empire State Building not too long ago. Things can be fixed. I dunno if you'll ever like those smells again but it's better than this, eh?

[and Sam 'hides those bad feelings away,' as his mother taught him do. The doors close off, one by one, as he shuts his pain away] Thanks, Doctor.

[serious voice time] Sam. Don't do that. It isn't going to help. Bottle up something and it'll explode.

Hypocrite.

[snorts, smirking] You're not supposed to look into my head, you know. My point is still valid.

You don't exactly hide things well. [folds his arms, looking over the Doctor] You open up to me, and I'll return the favour.

[gives him a flat look] I happen to think I'm good enough at it. But...all right, deal.

[looks at him, and then glances down] You can start.

[makes a face, then scratches the back of his neck] I dunno where to start. [and decides to just drop his brain/mouth filter] I still feel guilty about Adric. And Sara and Katarina while I'm at it.

[looks up, startling] Doctor?

[stares at a spot on the floor] Katarina didn't even have to. She was very simple but happy. She was taken hostage to be used against me but...she didn't want me to have to make that choice, so she made it for me. Sara, she wanted to help me, to make sure my plan didn't fail but she got caught in the weapon's radius. Adric...he was so young. He was brilliant, though. He...wanted me to be around more. I said I was going to be but then the Cybermen...Adric stayed behind, to finish the mathematical equation to save the earth. They were all in my care and...I wasn't able to save them. [swallows and rubs his face]

[just looks at the Doctor, for some time, and then puts a hand on his shoulder]

[looks up and nods] Right. Well! Your turn.

[shoves his hands in his pockets and gnaws on his lip for a moment]

I don't know what to say.

[clicks his tongue] How about...your father?

My father pointed a gun at my head and tried to kill Annie Cartwright

Well! There, that's a start! I can only help you do this if you talk about these things.

[stares at him] ... Can't do this. [stands up and straightens up his jacket]

[stands and grabs his hand] Yes you can. You have to, Sam.

Why do I have to? How can this help?

Because you need to tell someone. You know talking helps. I know you do. And quite frankly I just told you something I don't tell anyone so you owe me. [smiles a little]

[glances down at the hand the Doctor's holding] You're a bit clingy, aren't you? Abandonment issues, or just loneliness?

[softly] No one holds your hand in '73 unless you're about to jump off a building. Men're too afraid to seem feminine and the women have to be careful about getting too close.

[shrugs] I'm not even human. That sort of thing doesn't apply. I just think that...sometimes everyone needs someone to hold their hand. Metaphorically or otherwise.

[under his breath, sings a few lines from "I Want To Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles]

Who holds your hand?

I love that song. But, well. Loads of people do. We're supposed to be talking about you, you know.