realityshifted | (no subject)

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life on mars (d1) sam tyler

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[Suffering severe trauma leads to taking an holiday. Taking an holiday leads to intense boredom. And intense boredom leads to ~~the Dark Side~~ Sam Tyler in a waist apron]

Fumie, we're having pasta alla carbonara tonight.

And, uh, if anyone else is hungry... I have a lot of spare time right now. [muttered] Can't believe the satellite and the internet went out at the same time...

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Hm, compromise... [frowns softly, then gives him a strange look] He's not my boyfriend.

[gives him a strange look back] No, he's just the evil archenemy that you've decided you can't live without, so you're forcing him to stay with you. Breakfast must be a bit odd. ... Reminds me a bit of Misery, actually.

Actually, he's the one who locked me up and broke my bones when he felt like it. He still breaks them sometimes. But that's a bit different.

--you let him break your arms?

[rubs his neck awkwardly] I don't let him. Just, well. He's got violent mood swings.

... Battered spouse.

[exasperated] We're not married, either.

Only common law, yeah.

If we wanted to get married, we could on dozens of planets. And if we did, he'd probably make a comment about 'since you like Earth so much, you should observe their customs and put on a wedding dress' or something to be annoying. And I'm rubbish with weddings in the first place. Forget the time and end up late or vows or the grail that one time...

No need to get defensive of the marriage he never let you have.

[mentally keyboard smashed] We- He never- I never- ...But I don't really like marriage. Not that it's bad, just takes too long.

You never? Really? You've known each other that long and you've never?

[yes, teasing the Doctor IS fun, why do you ask?]

[rubs the back of his neck] Not lately, no. Not for a very long time, really. Being best enemies does make dates hard, you know. [he's joking a bit now, too]

When was the last time one of you asked the other out? And I mean actually asked the other out. Not all that battling each other for space and time, locking each other up for company, but a proper, "Hey, wanna go out for Indian tonight?"

I suppose recently doesn't count because he's been with me by, erm, force. Well, uhm...not for a very long time, no.

And you wonder why you have relationship issues.

[snorts] Good at dating advice, eh?

If that's advice to you, you're worse than I'd feared.

Erm, well. I haven't exactly...it's not my...Well, I usually have more important things to think about. Saving the universe and all that.

Maybe he wouldn't be such a threat to the universe if he got a good shag every once in a while

[stares at him] I think while he was ruling Earth, he got plenty of that, actually.

I don't want the details.

No, you really don't. Wise choice.

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