The Trial of Harmony & Invention

[collector]

[Irving Braxiatel is a Procurer of Stuff, so it is not surprising when this well-dressed gentleman appears with Stuff He Has Procured. Though the sort of Stuff he has brought, well.]

[The first of the Stuff is a new version of the information kiosk. Mysteriously, however, there are no longer any papers. Instead there is a simple sign reading Please say 'help' for information.]

[The second of the Stuff is semi-traditional 1800s equipment for table tennis. This means the table is a mahogany dining table, the ball is actually a rounded off champagne cork, and the net and rackets are actually books of Romantic era poetry.]

[The third of the Stuff is a paper aeroplane. Braxiatel picks the aeroplane up and sends it flying. When it is some distance away, Braxiatel disintegrates the aeroplane with a staser shot, then puts the staser away.]

[That settled, Braxiatel picks up one of the table tennis rackets. That is, a volume of Byron's poetry. Don't worry, it's not a first edition. The other racket is a volume of Percy Shelley's work.]

Is anyone up for a game of table tennis? Archaeologists are remarkably poor players and I am craving a challenge of late.

Comments

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

I don't know that I would be much of a challenge, as I've never played it before. [he is rather curious, though]

[collector]

Probably not, then. But I could teach you. This is a very traditional form of the game. A more traditional form would have used a golf ball, but I don't feel inclined to damage this table and I just finished off a bottle of champagne.

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

I would love to learn, if you wouldn't mind teaching me. [he frowns at the last bit] Speaking of champagne...do you know if there's something wrong with the alchohol in the Astral Bar?

[collector]

Not at all. Just pick up the Shelley and we'll get started. [Brax barely even considers Damon's question] I'm sure there isn't. Bernice or I would have noticed.

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

[quietly] There must be something wrong with me, then. [he picks up the Shelley] Why are we using books?

[bit_impossible]

A challenge, eh? [grins] Why, is Benny getting a little rusty?

[collector]

Bernice is a very gifted woman with numerous talents. Table tennis is not among them.

[bit_impossible]

[smiles faintly, fondly] Yes, I remember some of those talents...

Well! Did you want me to bring any proper equipment from the TARDIS? Or perhaps some more paper aeroplanes?

[collector]

I hope you don't mean proper equipment for table tennis. The Shelley should do just fine for your racket, and I adapted the champagne cork myself.

[bit_impossible]

I did, yeah, but if you're offering Shelley, then I don't see why not. [picks up said book, giving it a toss in his hand before he starts to figure out the best way he'd like to hold it] Why paper aeroplanes, by the way? I know a few good anger management specialists if you'd care to see them.

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

[Benny picks up the volume of Shelley, looking very menacing]

I'm not bloody debating Byron versus Shelley with someone who is so blatantly out of touch with reality.

[she grabs the cork tossing it in the air with her free hand and catching it, and repeating idly]

If archaeologists are poor players, collectors must be the worst players the universe ever produced.

[collector]

Ah, and here I thought archaeology was a search for truth. Denial is such a terrible thing in a scholar.

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

If you think I'm the one in denial, then you need some serious help -

[she stops short as a hologram of text appears near the kiosk accompanied by Clarissa Jones' voice when Benny says 'help'. Benny hugs Shelley against her chest as she moves towards the kiosk to check it out]

What the hell is this, Brax? First Broderick, now Ms. Jones. [she lets out a sigh and half laughs, as she looks back at Brax] I should be glad at least it's not Jason. I hear enough of him all ready, if I had to be dogged by that voice here as well, well...

[poor Shelley is hugged tighter in a not very affectionate way at the thought, but then her grip relaxes and she turns her attention back to the kiosk] This is rather nice though.

[collector]

I really ought to work on the trigger, but I can't quite find the balance between it being too particular and too vague. And I'm sure you only hear Jason when you choose to.

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

Now you sound like him. See, you two really are remarkably alike! [she still has her attention on the kiosk. She considers her options, and then goes for Nathan's brochure. She lets out a disappointed sigh as she gets to the next set of options] Oh bugger. I can only get one? Couldn't I get all three simultaneously or something?

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan has spied this change. And with a stoic, mildly displeased expression, he looks over it.

Oh. This won't do.

He backs up from it, and charges, shoulder first, trying to topple the thing over.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH!

[And he slams right into it. It does not go down.

Nathan stumbles backwards from the impact, frowns, then pathetically kicks at it.]

Fuckin'... kiosk.

[collector]

[Braxiatel steps back in case it does fall over, watching with mild surprise and amusement. Humans are very strange.]

Excuse me, but are you in need of a stress ball?

[Though seriously, he saw the strength of that impact. Poor stress balls would probably die under this guy's strength.]

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan looks over at That Guy.]

Ugh, no. Never do any- any good. Just- UGH! Fuckin' kiosk.

[collector]

It is reinforced. Though the way this place does things, I imagine it would just pop back up again if someone threw a nuclear weapon at it.

[onehundredbeers]

[He kicks it again.]

Probably. And I can't- I cannot reprogram. Anything. That's... that's Toki's bag. Ugh, that fucking jackass! Using a kiosk.

KLJA:SAlsa nathan is the best

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

{Staring at the books...} Ne, couldn't you use worse things for the net and um...

{Diva makes the motion with her hands} The thing you hit it with. I'm not sure what it's called.

[collector]

It's called a racket, and it plays very well. Particularly as the covers are hard. Playing with a soft-covered book is nearly impossible, but some particularly thick pulp novels work well enough. You just don't get as much cover space for them.

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not really that that I care as much about, but... I really like that poetry, I guess. I bet that sounds weird.

[collector]

'Weird'? No, not at all. I'd never play with certain works. But I think Byron might appreciate the sentiment.

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

...He would? Why do you say that?