The Trial of Harmony & Invention

[collector]

[Irving Braxiatel is a Procurer of Stuff, so it is not surprising when this well-dressed gentleman appears with Stuff He Has Procured. Though the sort of Stuff he has brought, well.]

[The first of the Stuff is a new version of the information kiosk. Mysteriously, however, there are no longer any papers. Instead there is a simple sign reading Please say 'help' for information.]

[The second of the Stuff is semi-traditional 1800s equipment for table tennis. This means the table is a mahogany dining table, the ball is actually a rounded off champagne cork, and the net and rackets are actually books of Romantic era poetry.]

[The third of the Stuff is a paper aeroplane. Braxiatel picks the aeroplane up and sends it flying. When it is some distance away, Braxiatel disintegrates the aeroplane with a staser shot, then puts the staser away.]

[That settled, Braxiatel picks up one of the table tennis rackets. That is, a volume of Byron's poetry. Don't worry, it's not a first edition. The other racket is a volume of Percy Shelley's work.]

Is anyone up for a game of table tennis? Archaeologists are remarkably poor players and I am craving a challenge of late.

Comments

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

I don't know that I would be much of a challenge, as I've never played it before. [he is rather curious, though]

[collector]

Probably not, then. But I could teach you. This is a very traditional form of the game. A more traditional form would have used a golf ball, but I don't feel inclined to damage this table and I just finished off a bottle of champagne.

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

I would love to learn, if you wouldn't mind teaching me. [he frowns at the last bit] Speaking of champagne...do you know if there's something wrong with the alchohol in the Astral Bar?

[collector]

Not at all. Just pick up the Shelley and we'll get started. [Brax barely even considers Damon's question] I'm sure there isn't. Bernice or I would have noticed.

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

[quietly] There must be something wrong with me, then. [he picks up the Shelley] Why are we using books?

[collector]

What were you drinking?

[Braxiatel taps his fingers on the volume of Byron] For the fun of it, Damon! Modern table tennis is so standardized. I think it's much more entertaining to use books. I was thinking of getting our Literature department to do their debates over table tennis. You use whatever text you're discussing as your racket, the great canonical texts of your the cultures in question are used as the net, and you can only deliver a point for as long as the ball is in your court. Of course, that's only feasible for the telepaths. No one else can communicate quickly enough. Perhaps if we made it lawn tennis . . .

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

A few mixed drinks? The Doctor let me borrow a book...but it wasn't an amount that should have gotten me as drunk as I was.

[Damon is amused by Brax's ideas] I think I would like to visit your Collection someday.

[collector]

Have you ever had anything to drink before now? Quirks sometimes happen in the genetics. You might have been born without the ability.

[Braxiatel bounces the cork on the table a few times to get the feel of it] You should do! Make sure you send me a communiqué first, though. You'll have to come in with a pass by shuttle. Materialization is forbidden on the Collection.

[bit_impossible]

A challenge, eh? [grins] Why, is Benny getting a little rusty?

[collector]

Bernice is a very gifted woman with numerous talents. Table tennis is not among them.

[bit_impossible]

[smiles faintly, fondly] Yes, I remember some of those talents...

Well! Did you want me to bring any proper equipment from the TARDIS? Or perhaps some more paper aeroplanes?

[collector]

I hope you don't mean proper equipment for table tennis. The Shelley should do just fine for your racket, and I adapted the champagne cork myself.

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

[Benny picks up the volume of Shelley, looking very menacing]

I'm not bloody debating Byron versus Shelley with someone who is so blatantly out of touch with reality.

[she grabs the cork tossing it in the air with her free hand and catching it, and repeating idly]

If archaeologists are poor players, collectors must be the worst players the universe ever produced.

[collector]

Ah, and here I thought archaeology was a search for truth. Denial is such a terrible thing in a scholar.

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

If you think I'm the one in denial, then you need some serious help -

[she stops short as a hologram of text appears near the kiosk accompanied by Clarissa Jones' voice when Benny says 'help'. Benny hugs Shelley against her chest as she moves towards the kiosk to check it out]

What the hell is this, Brax? First Broderick, now Ms. Jones. [she lets out a sigh and half laughs, as she looks back at Brax] I should be glad at least it's not Jason. I hear enough of him all ready, if I had to be dogged by that voice here as well, well...

[poor Shelley is hugged tighter in a not very affectionate way at the thought, but then her grip relaxes and she turns her attention back to the kiosk] This is rather nice though.

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

Of course I have. Even in the bar here, but I've never had any problems before.

[stares] But you don't know me yet, in my time. You would still allow me to visit?

[collector]

When was the last time you had a drink that affected you normally?

[unconcerned] I'm not living on the Collection in your time.

[collector]

I really ought to work on the trigger, but I can't quite find the balance between it being too particular and too vague. And I'm sure you only hear Jason when you choose to.

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

Now you sound like him. See, you two really are remarkably alike! [she still has her attention on the kiosk. She considers her options, and then goes for Nathan's brochure. She lets out a disappointed sigh as she gets to the next set of options] Oh bugger. I can only get one? Couldn't I get all three simultaneously or something?

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

I think it was...when the Master informed me about what happened to Gallifrey. Why do you ask?

[frowns] But you told me to send you a communiqué first.

[collector]

You could in theory. I didn't want to make it too complicated.

[With a pleasantly half-amused expression, Braxiatel taps all three.]

[collector]

One method to help determine a cause of a change is to determine when that change took place.

Yes, to a Braxiatel living on the Braxiatel Collection. A Braxiatel busy with his duty to his office would have some difficulties in getting you a pass in.

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

[she smiles at the brochure that prints out, looking between that and the hologram, although her smile falters as she hears the voice that comes out.]

Brax.

[collector]

Yes, Bernice?

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

[she turns on her heels to face Brax]

Why is Jason Bloody Kane narrating?