The Trial of Harmony & Invention

[collector]

[Irving Braxiatel is a Procurer of Stuff, so it is not surprising when this well-dressed gentleman appears with Stuff He Has Procured. Though the sort of Stuff he has brought, well.]

[The first of the Stuff is a new version of the information kiosk. Mysteriously, however, there are no longer any papers. Instead there is a simple sign reading Please say 'help' for information.]

[The second of the Stuff is semi-traditional 1800s equipment for table tennis. This means the table is a mahogany dining table, the ball is actually a rounded off champagne cork, and the net and rackets are actually books of Romantic era poetry.]

[The third of the Stuff is a paper aeroplane. Braxiatel picks the aeroplane up and sends it flying. When it is some distance away, Braxiatel disintegrates the aeroplane with a staser shot, then puts the staser away.]

[That settled, Braxiatel picks up one of the table tennis rackets. That is, a volume of Byron's poetry. Don't worry, it's not a first edition. The other racket is a volume of Percy Shelley's work.]

Is anyone up for a game of table tennis? Archaeologists are remarkably poor players and I am craving a challenge of late.

Comments

[collector]

Not a problem. I know how hard picking gifts can be.

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

[thoughtfully] I may be able to figure out something for the Doctor, but I don't know Coordinator Narvin and Leela as well as I'd like.

[collector]

The Doctor is not particularly difficult to get presents for. He has everything he wants, so all you have to do is pick out something you'd want to give. That sentiment of giving is enough. Leela has a similar appreciation for sentiment, but I'd suggest something practical. She also tends to value the natural and the real in favour of the sterile and the advanced.

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

That's very helpful. And Coordinator Narvin?

[collector]

Narvin is practical too, if in a rather differing way. Life has been rather hard on him of late. The conditions he's going through . . . I don't envy them. Perhaps you could get him, I don't know, something warm to wear. Something in ermine.

[To his credit, Braxiatel behaves entirely innocuously about this horribly weasel joke he just suggested.]

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

[Damon is oblivious to the weasel joke] I'll keep that in mind, thank you. [pauses] Is there anything I can get for you in return for your advice?

[collector]

[Braxiatel laughs] No, nothing. Remember? I'm the man who has everything.

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

[teasing] I thought you were the man who collected everything.

[collector]

Everything worth collecting.

[doctorsfanboy.livejournal.com]

And you have everything worth collecting already?

[collector]

I have everything that one of my people might legally acquire at home, yes.