(no subject)

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[So Tosh is mostly unchanged when she steps onto the Plane.

Except for one /big/ difference - she happens to be, oh, about nine months pregnant.

Cue freaking out as she notices this.]

Oh my God, what the hell is going on here?

((ooc: Preggers!Naoko is from Spice World - yes, that Spice World - and can be found in a video, complete with musical number and Spice Girls trying to deliver her baby, here.))

Comments

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[Oh sure, Tosh.

He clears his throat, and attempts to compose himself slightly. Which basically means professionalism time. He'll be hiding his wtf now, and pretty effectively at that.]

I suppose congratulations are in order.

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[well, it's either that or she and Owen finally hooked up...and if they did, he definitely used retcon on her.]

...what?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[...well, it does sound like a very Owen-ish thing to do. :\

He exhales, and indicates her very pregnant belly.] Well, you know... the... ah, is it Tommy's? Could be Owen's, I suppose, but...

[Oh, God. Now he's making her sound like a slut. He'll be shutting up now.]

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[a bit panicked. no, make that very panicked.]

I don't know who the hell the father is!

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[And now he's even more flustered. If that's possible, anyway.]

Oh. Well, do you have numbers?

For the people you've... well, you know. [Oh, God. He didn't mean to do that hand gesture. gjdsfj He almost wishes he were a cat again.]

You could call them up, or something. Try and find him with DNA matches.

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Ianto, just let me ring bloody 1918. While I'm at it, maybe we can figure out the reduced gestation period of cryogenically frozen sperm!

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

...but you just said you didn't know who the father was.

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

Well, that wasn't exactly nine months ago, Ianto!

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

How long ago was it?

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

Two weeks!

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

Looks closer to nine months to me.

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[glare!] I know how long it was.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

Well, I haven't been myself lately, have I? It's hard to keep track of time when you think you're a cat.

Do you think it could've been something at work? Other than Tommy, I mean.

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[exasperated look] I don't know! I've been too busy running to Starbucks every five minutes!

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

...Starbucks? [Oh, that hurts Tosh.]

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't figure out the coffee machine, and nobody else seemed inclined to take responsibility, so...[shrug]

[and then the baby kicks, and Tosh looks horrified]

Oh, God, it's moving!

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

...but it's-- [jkdskajf Tosh, stop freaking him out.]

You aren't going to give birth, are you?

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[panicked] I don't know! Do I look like a doctor?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[Okay... calming down. Or trying, anyway.] Right. Well, has your water broken?

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[she looks like she's about to burst into hysterics] ...no, it hasn't.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

Contractions?

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[adsklf] How am I supposed to know what a contraction feels like?

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm pretty sure you'd have noticed if you had.

Have you spoken to Owen?

[geekgirltosh.livejournal.com]

[she buries her face in her hands] Oh, God, I don't even want to know what he'll say.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

At least he'll have some idea of what to do.