first scheme: the graceful debutant

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[In the milliseconds after Edgar first appears on the Plane, he cycles through a variety of emotions at such high speed it's a wonder he doesn't get whiplash. He stumbles forwards and then drops to his hands and knees in terror. He is not using his Indoor Voice when he exclaims,]

Ah--! Holy mother of fuck!

[There's a pause as his fingers tense and untense against the "floor" and he tries to come to terms with what he's seeing.]

Oh, my god. I'm in fucking space. I'm in space. This has gotta be a dream. No fucking question.

[He squeezes his eyes closed. Deliberately,]

I... am... dreaming.

[Edgar lets out a nervous laugh and carefully gets to his feet, bracing for balance as if he were on a sailboat riding a tidal wave. A look of dark, uncertain understanding crosses his face.]

...Or this is just the town? The town is doing weird shit again. Oh, god. [As if shouting at some invisible overseer,] This isn't fucking funny! I liked you better with ground! God damn it! [He points at the Colosseum in the distance and, I'll have you know, hasn't taken History or Geography since the eighth grade.] What the fuck is that? Is this fucking Egypt now? Is this the best you can do? Fuck! Motel, town, space, you're a fucking asshole!

[He looks around venomously, runs a hand restlessly through his hair and takes a couple of uncertain steps. To himself,] I'm yelling at nothing. At space. Okay, yeah, that sounds like a good plan, gets lots of shit done.

I gotta stop drinking.

Comments

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan stares while drinking a slushie. This is one of the more interesting responses he's seen in a while. So you know, he's going to wait until Edgar is dooooone and there we go.]

Hey, uh. Everybody yells at space. It's cool.

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[Sarcastically,]

Oh, thanks man, what a relief. I feel so much more sane. I don't see you yelling at space.

[onehundredbeers]

[Mmm, slushie.]

I'm fucking used to it, why the fuck would I need to yell at it anymore? I mean, talk into fucking nothingness expecting some jackoff to come by and reply to me, yeah, sure.

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[Edgar looks at the slushie. Damn that looks good. Without aggression / plainly,]

So does that make you the jackoff in this situation?

[onehundredbeers]

Yep.

[Nathan shrugs.]

Uh, hey, there's like, a fucking information kiosk or some shit. I don't feel like explaining anything. So you can go- go look at that.

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[That answer is pretty good.]

Info kiosk? Man, how'd I miss that? Yeah, I'll do that. Y'know, I ain't ever seen it look like this, I mean, usually there's like, some dirt everywhere, some ugly houses, you know...?

[onehundredbeers]

... Seen what look like this? Space has always, you know, fucking looked like space. It's isn't fucking suburbia.

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[Edgar shakes his head with a small smile.]

You must be new, buddy.

[onehundredbeers]

Uh, no. I've been coming here for a while.

[He crosses his arms sternly. And still drinks from his slushie while maintaining this stern stance and expression. All in all it looks a bit silly and breaks any aura of seriousness Nathan is attempting to have.]

You're the fucking new guy, man.

[collector]

[With the pinched-nose 'oh god why' of a scholar who has, well, who has just heard somebody refer to the Colosseum as Egyptian,] It isn't from Egypt. And I don't believe it has ever functioned as a motel, though I could well be mistaken.

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[Edgar gives him a withering look like he's said something quite obvious and/or dumb.] I think I know where that thing comes from.

[collector]

[It's a condescension party, and Brax is bringing his detached 'I wish I could be shocked by your stupidity, but such luxuries have been deprived from me by years of those like you; as such, I won't even deign to argue with you' raised eyebrows to get it started.] May I ask what town it is that inspired your ire?

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[Edgar prickles a little at Brax's condescending expression, but as it's unsaid, he doesn't know how to respond to it] Uh, s'called Cicero? Weird-ass retro American town with no people in it, lots of weird shit goes down all the time. Ringing a bell?

[collector]

With respect to Greek philosophers? Yes. With respect 'weird shirt,' certainly. A retro-American element is much less prevalent. This is what is generally referred to as the Astral Plane.

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[Blank look.] What? So have you been to Cicero or not?

[collector]

I have not. But I'm naturally curious about any place one might associate with this one. Of course, if you've any questions about this, you are free to ask them and I will do my utmost to answer them first.

[Also he totally said 'Roman philosopher' not Greek and obviously this slip was a matter of the strong association between the introduction of Greek philosophy to their Roman colleagues which came through Cicero. Yes.]

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[He frowns a bit.] Well, it's like this, but ain't all space-y. It's a town. You know? Does this place do the whole 'freaks from different planets' thing?

[Edgar doesn't spot his Greek/Roman slip, no worries. ;)]

[punkblaze]

Pretty weird at first, isn't it?

[Eithan makes his way over, grinning and shaking his head.] Don't worry, man, I almost started freakin' out too. But it's really not that bad! Just looks weird. Promise. And you're not dreamin'.

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[Edgar looks skeptical.] Man, you're walking on nothing, did you know that?

[punkblaze]

It's not really nothin'! See?

[He kicks the "floor" a bit with the toe of his shoe.]

There's a floor! It just blends in. Real well. Just don't look down, right?

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

Right. Don't look down. [He doesn't sound convinced, but tries hard not to go against Eithan's advice.] I like real floors better, man, dunno about you.

[punkblaze]

Yeah, definitely. I'm new here, too. I'm hopin' it's somethin' you get used to....

Name's Eithan, by the way. You?

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

[He's momentarily distracted by Eithan's hair, which he has been trying not to stare at but has given up.] ...Edgar. Fuck me if I ever get used to this. [He looks around meaningfully.] I mean, holy shit, right?

[punkblaze]

[Eithan doesn't even notice the staring. But he does grin.]

Yeah, holy shit. I dunno, I guess it could be worse?

[scheme26.livejournal.com]

Really, you think? How? [He laughs a little.] I guess there's no demon-monsters or zombies, that's a leg-up on some places. How long you been here?