realityshifted | first scheme: the graceful debutant

[In the milliseconds after Edgar first appears on the Plane, he cycles through a variety of emotions at such high speed it's a wonder he doesn't get whiplash. He stumbles forwards and then drops to his hands and knees in terror. He is not using his Indoor Voice when he exclaims,]

Ah--! Holy mother of fuck!

[There's a pause as his fingers tense and untense against the "floor" and he tries to come to terms with what he's seeing.]

Oh, my god. I'm in fucking space. I'm in space. This has gotta be a dream. No fucking question.

[He squeezes his eyes closed. Deliberately,]

I... am... dreaming.

[Edgar lets out a nervous laugh and carefully gets to his feet, bracing for balance as if he were on a sailboat riding a tidal wave. A look of dark, uncertain understanding crosses his face.]

...Or this is just the town? The town is doing weird shit again. Oh, god. [As if shouting at some invisible overseer,] This isn't fucking funny! I liked you better with ground! God damn it! [He points at the Colosseum in the distance and, I'll have you know, hasn't taken History or Geography since the eighth grade.] What the fuck is that? Is this fucking Egypt now? Is this the best you can do? Fuck! Motel, town, space, you're a fucking asshole!

[He looks around venomously, runs a hand restlessly through his hair and takes a couple of uncertain steps. To himself,] I'm yelling at nothing. At space. Okay, yeah, that sounds like a good plan, gets lots of shit done.

I gotta stop drinking.

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[Nathan stares while drinking a slushie. This is one of the more interesting responses he's seen in a while. So you know, he's going to wait until Edgar is dooooone and there we go.]

Hey, uh. Everybody yells at space. It's cool.

[Sarcastically,]

Oh, thanks man, what a relief. I feel so much more sane. I don't see you yelling at space.

[Mmm, slushie.]

I'm fucking used to it, why the fuck would I need to yell at it anymore? I mean, talk into fucking nothingness expecting some jackoff to come by and reply to me, yeah, sure.

[Edgar looks at the slushie. Damn that looks good. Without aggression / plainly,]

So does that make you the jackoff in this situation?

Yep.

[Nathan shrugs.]

Uh, hey, there's like, a fucking information kiosk or some shit. I don't feel like explaining anything. So you can go- go look at that.

[That answer is pretty good.]

Info kiosk? Man, how'd I miss that? Yeah, I'll do that. Y'know, I ain't ever seen it look like this, I mean, usually there's like, some dirt everywhere, some ugly houses, you know...?

... Seen what look like this? Space has always, you know, fucking looked like space. It's isn't fucking suburbia.

[With the pinched-nose 'oh god why' of a scholar who has, well, who has just heard somebody refer to the Colosseum as Egyptian,] It isn't from Egypt. And I don't believe it has ever functioned as a motel, though I could well be mistaken.

[Edgar shakes his head with a small smile.]

You must be new, buddy.

[Edgar gives him a withering look like he's said something quite obvious and/or dumb.] I think I know where that thing comes from.

Uh, no. I've been coming here for a while.

[He crosses his arms sternly. And still drinks from his slushie while maintaining this stern stance and expression. All in all it looks a bit silly and breaks any aura of seriousness Nathan is attempting to have.]

You're the fucking new guy, man.

Edited 2011-04-07 17:14 (UTC)

No, you got it backwards. I've been comin' here like a year or more. Never seen you. Think I'd remember.

[I predict this is going to turn into a no you fight.]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

No.

You're wrong. Se- seriously, you're totally off the fucking mark.

[It's a condescension party, and Brax is bringing his detached 'I wish I could be shocked by your stupidity, but such luxuries have been deprived from me by years of those like you; as such, I won't even deign to argue with you' raised eyebrows to get it started.] May I ask what town it is that inspired your ire?

[Edgar prickles a little at Brax's condescending expression, but as it's unsaid, he doesn't know how to respond to it] Uh, s'called Cicero? Weird-ass retro American town with no people in it, lots of weird shit goes down all the time. Ringing a bell?

[Edgar crosses his arms too.]

Whatever man, believe what you want. You got a name?

With respect to Greek philosophers? Yes. With respect 'weird shirt,' certainly. A retro-American element is much less prevalent. This is what is generally referred to as the Astral Plane.

[Blank look.] What? So have you been to Cicero or not?

Nathan Explosion.

[He wins the arm cross adventure. He has delicious drink. You do not.]

How about you, fuckface?

[Just for clarity, he's saying fuckface in about the same way someone might say 'man', 'dude', 'guy', or whatever.]

Nathan Explosion? [Edgar laughs.] Alright, man, good choice. Where'd you get a name like that?

[There's half a second where Edgar isn't quite sure how to take that 'fuckface,' but with the accompanying tone and the fact Nathan could probably crush his whole body with one bicep, he lets it go quickly.] Edgar.

I was born with it? Like, my dad is Oscar Explosion. It's not a fucking stage name or something I gave myself, if, uh, that's what you're thinking.

I have not. But I'm naturally curious about any place one might associate with this one. Of course, if you've any questions about this, you are free to ask them and I will do my utmost to answer them first.

[Also he totally said 'Roman philosopher' not Greek and obviously this slip was a matter of the strong association between the introduction of Greek philosophy to their Roman colleagues which came through Cicero. Yes.]

[He frowns a bit.] Well, it's like this, but ain't all space-y. It's a town. You know? Does this place do the whole 'freaks from different planets' thing?

[Edgar doesn't spot his Greek/Roman slip, no worries. ;)]

And different universes and different histories of the same universes. I see your are familiar with the multiversal nexus concept.

A town would be nice. Less inconsistent scenery, I should think.

There's nobody to impress here, buddy, you don't gotta talk all fancy.

The town was kind of ugly, like fifties suburbia, y'know? Can't even break shit because it would just come back! Maybe this is an improvement.

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