Fantasy for Organ, in E flat Major

[collector]

[There is cake on the kitchen table. Everything else is irrelevant, because there is a table, and it has delicious cake on it.]

[But if one must notice the peripheral details, Irving Braxiatel is leaning on the counter by the oven. A fresh sheet of croissants are on top of the stove, and Braxiatel is looking over a paper on Shakespearean performances in non-human cultures. He is also fixing an odd bit of technology that might be recognized as part of a time ship's temporal stabilizer. The devil, after all, always finds work for idle hands. He seems perfectly at ease.]

[There is also an extra cake on the table, as if to ward off vultures from the main prize.]

Comments

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan and I cannot resist saying hi. He grabs cake. Because cake is better. But he does not stay distracted with it, because... Irving's technology is much more interesting than cake.]

Having fun?

[This is clearly the big concern here.]

[collector]

Always, Mr Explosion! Ah, forgive me: Nathan. Habits. And how is the band?

[onehundredbeers]

Murderface is still a dick. Him and Toki are on band suspension. Uhhh... I deleted over 47 songs.

[collector]

[Braxiatel's eyebrows lift.] Any particular reason? For the songs, not your bandmates.

[onehundredbeers]

They sounded like we were having fun. We weren't... miserable. They sounded like shit because we were enjoying ourselves. Bam. Deleted.

[collector]

And that's necessary.

[onehundredbeers]

Yes. It is. We can't... we can't have fun. It makes us sound terrible, like we're fucking hacks. And I'm not letting that kind of shitty sounding music go on any album, alright?

[collector]

Will you be taking Toki and Murderface back, then?

[onehundredbeers]

... I don't know.

[collector]

[Braxiatel cuts two slices of cake and offers one to Nathan.] No?

[onehundredbeers]

[Yay cake.]

Well, I mean... I'm still kind of mad, I guess? But- ugh, we sound shitty without Murderface making me hate everything about recording! And writing.

[collector]

[Cake is great.] I suppose they really do contribute to the band, in that sense, then. If not in many others.

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan idly eats cake. Nathan, things like cake are one of the reasons you are fat.]

It fucking sucks. I thought it was, you know, great that me and Pickles and Skwisgaar were getting shit done, but. Ugh. First time I enjoy being a musician in years and it sounds terrible. Great.

[Angry cake eating! That is still somehow mannerly. It's Nathan, after all.]

[collector]

[A true gentleman can eat with any temperament!] You could always try recording, I don't know, without drink or food or comfort. It might add misery back in.

[Now that Brax has seen the Dethklok Minute, though, he's not sure that could add up to equal what Murderface and Toki bring to the table.]

[onehundredbeers]

That'd be a different kind of misery, you know? There's like... types. Degrees, whatever. If I'm uncomfortable and hungry and, you know, thirsty, that's going to make me sound like shit because I need a drink, food, and a comfy chair.

[Misery is clearly a science of sorts.]

[collector]

[over his tea] You should have your scientists work out the perfect equation.

[Irving Braxiatel: snatching replies from the brackety bits.]

[onehundredbeers]

[Brax, you're terrible. Especially since that somehow confuses Nathan, the confusion is readily apparent on his face, but Nathan attempts to slog through it because he doesn't really care for playing Adventures In Explanation Land today.]

Yeah, no, that just won't- it won't work, Irving. Ugh, I'm fucking fucked. If I take Murderface back, I have to deal with him being a prick, and if I don't, there goes my whole fucking career.

[collector]

[Braxiatel pulls a layer from his croissant.] Then I suppose I ought to look forward to seeing more of his antics on the Dethklok Minute.

[onehundredbeers]

[That does not fly over Nathan's head.]

Ugh, great, you can see that?

[collector]

It started popping up on the Collection's vidscreens. Everyone who has noticed it so far seem to believe it's a very peculiar fictional production in the style of Welles's War of the Worlds.

[onehundredbeers]

Yeah, no. That is- that's generally my life. Up there. For everyone to know about.

[collector]

Would you prefer I not watch? I can do my best to block the channel.

[onehundredbeers]

No, it's cool.

[Nathan pauses.]

I watch it too.

[collector]

[eyebrow liiiift] Do you. Well. As you like it. I think I'll encourage the theory that it's fictional. It's much simpler than explaining that it comes from another universe.

[onehundredbeers]

[Delicious cake.]

Hey, it's a great way of- of seeing what's going on without... asking. And, uh, seeing public opinion. On me.