Fantasy for Organ, in E flat Major

[collector]

[There is cake on the kitchen table. Everything else is irrelevant, because there is a table, and it has delicious cake on it.]

[But if one must notice the peripheral details, Irving Braxiatel is leaning on the counter by the oven. A fresh sheet of croissants are on top of the stove, and Braxiatel is looking over a paper on Shakespearean performances in non-human cultures. He is also fixing an odd bit of technology that might be recognized as part of a time ship's temporal stabilizer. The devil, after all, always finds work for idle hands. He seems perfectly at ease.]

[There is also an extra cake on the table, as if to ward off vultures from the main prize.]

Comments

[collector]

[Cake is great.] I suppose they really do contribute to the band, in that sense, then. If not in many others.

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan idly eats cake. Nathan, things like cake are one of the reasons you are fat.]

It fucking sucks. I thought it was, you know, great that me and Pickles and Skwisgaar were getting shit done, but. Ugh. First time I enjoy being a musician in years and it sounds terrible. Great.

[Angry cake eating! That is still somehow mannerly. It's Nathan, after all.]

[collector]

[A true gentleman can eat with any temperament!] You could always try recording, I don't know, without drink or food or comfort. It might add misery back in.

[Now that Brax has seen the Dethklok Minute, though, he's not sure that could add up to equal what Murderface and Toki bring to the table.]

[onehundredbeers]

That'd be a different kind of misery, you know? There's like... types. Degrees, whatever. If I'm uncomfortable and hungry and, you know, thirsty, that's going to make me sound like shit because I need a drink, food, and a comfy chair.

[Misery is clearly a science of sorts.]

[collector]

[over his tea] You should have your scientists work out the perfect equation.

[Irving Braxiatel: snatching replies from the brackety bits.]

[onehundredbeers]

[Brax, you're terrible. Especially since that somehow confuses Nathan, the confusion is readily apparent on his face, but Nathan attempts to slog through it because he doesn't really care for playing Adventures In Explanation Land today.]

Yeah, no, that just won't- it won't work, Irving. Ugh, I'm fucking fucked. If I take Murderface back, I have to deal with him being a prick, and if I don't, there goes my whole fucking career.

[collector]

[Braxiatel pulls a layer from his croissant.] Then I suppose I ought to look forward to seeing more of his antics on the Dethklok Minute.

[onehundredbeers]

[That does not fly over Nathan's head.]

Ugh, great, you can see that?

[collector]

It started popping up on the Collection's vidscreens. Everyone who has noticed it so far seem to believe it's a very peculiar fictional production in the style of Welles's War of the Worlds.

[onehundredbeers]

Yeah, no. That is- that's generally my life. Up there. For everyone to know about.

[collector]

Would you prefer I not watch? I can do my best to block the channel.

[onehundredbeers]

No, it's cool.

[Nathan pauses.]

I watch it too.

[collector]

[eyebrow liiiift] Do you. Well. As you like it. I think I'll encourage the theory that it's fictional. It's much simpler than explaining that it comes from another universe.

[onehundredbeers]

[Delicious cake.]

Hey, it's a great way of- of seeing what's going on without... asking. And, uh, seeing public opinion. On me.

[collector]

I didn't take you to be one concerned with public image, Mister—Nathan. [Habits are hard to break. Though to Brax it doesn't seem out of place for Nathan to look at public opinion, but there is nothing quite like mild surprise to request elaboration.]

[onehundredbeers]

[And Nathan is all too happy to elaborate for Irving. He's okay with telling him things.]

Ugh, no, I have- I have to keep up with that, you know? I just... it's like, I read the tabloids, I watch the news, they're always fucking talking about us and half the time they're making shit up.

[He scowls briefly.]

And, uh, when they aren't? Fucking mobs. A couple of months ago fans were burning fucking effigies of us. I hate my fans. Seriously. Seriously, I hope they die.

[collector]

That would put something of a strain on the economy, but I'm sure you'd manage. So the Dethklok Minute really is part of your world. A comparatively subtle way for universes to come crashing into each other, all things considered.

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan angrily mutters.] Economy is shit anyway. [Then he eats more cake.]

Do you get, uh, KQQZ? Or... WHYK? Fucking love those two channels. They're, uh, more news than gossip, you know?

[Nathan's attempting to figure out a bit more here since reality merging is the most BORING SHIT EVER.]

[collector]

I don't think so, no. Perhaps it's a matter of time. [Brax seems to approach this entire thing with mild scepticism, because Nathan is right: this is a really very bland way for worlds to smash together.]

[onehundredbeers]

Oh. [It's not even mild disappointment, just a disinterested, automatic reply.]

That's... that is pretty boring. When the hell did that start, anyway?

[collector]

It is, isn't it? A few weeks ago, I believe. That's when I first saw it, anyway.

[onehundredbeers]

So I guess you've been keeping up on shit then.

[Well duh of course he has.]

Fucking court, Murderface signing a shitty band, blah blah.

[collector]

Yes, all very entertaining to watch over breakfast. Well, generally. Sometimes Mr Murderface makes it difficult to eat.