θ 4

[bit_impossible]

[the Doctor stands outside the library, Meredith's words of caution from the projection surfacing in one of his many passing thoughts:

"Be careful in the library."

for the Doctor, that's like slapping a big ol' "DO NOT ENTER" sign on it and expecting him to stay out. of course, it's a sign that he'll brazenly ignore and continue on his merry way just like he's always done.

but he has another reason for heading for the library besides some not-quite-so-amateur sleuthing...]

[to no one in particular:] Well, let's hope the bookworms haven't decided to revolt!

[he pushes the doors open with a flourish and heads in]

Comments

[bit_impossible]

Well, not entirely, but let's see where were we...ah yes! Oliver first, then us. Then again, everything is related to that specific time, but anyway. [he shakes a hand somewhat impatiently, dismissively]

My point is something happened to Oliver. There is a powerful block on his mind that is preventing him from keeping the details about certain things in his mind. They slip away from his mind like water off a duck's back.

[collector]

[With the sort of mildness that he knows can be read as nothing but artifice] Must be a very talented hypnotist.

[bit_impossible]

[arches an eyebrow ever so slightly] Must be indeed. So I figured I should ask the only one I know of around here who could possibly break it. I'd ask the Master, but, well, he seems to be a bit...indisposed himself...

[collector]

Yes, I saw. [Unconcerned] I'll do it. No one better than its maker to break it, after all. Just tell me when Oliver is ready.

[bit_impossible]

[it takes a great deal of self-control not to explode on the spot. if it were anyone else, he might have, but since it's Braxiatel, he knows there is something more to it and he hopes...]

[forces his voice to be steady and calm] Can I ask why?

[collector]

[Braxiatel looks at the Doctor, calm and undisturbed.] I don't think that should be difficult to work out. Not if we care to recall how our 'discussion' went.

[bit_impossible]

So, you shot him as well, then? Left him in the forest? Forest must have seen an awful lot of visitors that day.

[collector]

I see your talent for entirely missing the point has not faded with age, congratulations. No, Thete. Before you push further for a defence of my actions, I'm very interested to hear you justify yours.

[bit_impossible]

[he makes a face at that]

You were there. Something got into me just from being around you. [he moves to the very edge of his seat, his voice low] I wanted to help you at first, but something slowly brought out such deep-seated bitterness and violence that I didn't even know I had in me. I didn't want to listen to your attempts at trying to calm me down, and unlike now, I really didn't want to hear you use my nickname. I wanted to hurt you and make you suffer so maybe you could understand, for even a second, what it's like.

But I didn't go that far, and I think even if you hadn't used the staser on me, I wouldn't have done anyway.

[collector]

[Braxiatel listens impassively. He expected something like that.]

It's good of you to say as much in retrospect. Don't worry. I cannot hold against you what you did while not truly yourself.

[bit_impossible]

[absently dismisses that, choosing to process that later] Well, I'm glad to hear that, but that isn't--Brax, there is something more. There is a reason why I wouldn't have done anything and it has to do with one simple fact. Surely, you must've heard about it from the others who've been around, but I can't feel you. I can feel the others in my mind: Romana, Narvin, and Omega, but not you. From what I saw in Oliver's mind, that glimpse of a memory stored away, I was right to. And I want to help you more than ever.

[collector]

[There's one moment, a moment of pure stillness, as Braxiatel shoves back a flicker of pain. Then he presses his fingertips together.] For Gallifrey's sake, you must not help me. I won't say any more on the subject. I cannot.

You must trust me.

[bit_impossible]

[from the torn, almost pleading look on his face, that isn't the answer he wants to hear] There has to be something I can do, something to make it easier. I wasn't able to help you before, but this time... [he trails off. certainly because they're in different realities, it wouldn't technically be interfering, would it...?]

[collector]

[Braxiatel's reply is firm with the resolve of centuries. The resolve of a sacrifice made for too long to be squandered now.] No, Thete. There is nothing to be done.

One day, it will be over with. For now, let it be. Let it be for Romana.

[bit_impossible]

[opens his mouth, then closes it again. he wants to argue about this so badly, but he knows that tone. he knows Brax's mind is made up] Fine. But since I can't help there, maybe there is something else I can do. Maybe not now, but later. You don't have to be like Atlas.

[collector]

Oh, I hope not. You can't do much with your hands full like that. But that, perhaps, can be touched on at a later date. For now, I need to take care of Oliver.

Do you think he's ready? I can break it at any time.

[bit_impossible]

[he nods] Yes, you do. There's no doubt in my mind that he is.

However, you just need to understand that once you have undone the block, he won't be happy with you. His mind was ravaged by mad, murderous brain parasite during our very last adventure together, and that has left him scarred in more ways than I think even he understands--and never mind his losing his memory after another incident before that. He can't handle having his mind tampered with in any capacity, and I can understand that maybe you did what you did to him because of what was happening to you at the time. From what Oliver said, he wasn't exactly himself either.

[collector]

[Braxiatel's smile is silent laughter.] 'Maybe' that was why? I don't know if I can bring myself to comment on that sort of suspicion. I have no intentions of trying to justify that which simply can't be excused. If Oliver does not want to forgive me, then I'll accept the consequences of my actions, regardless of whatever influence inspired them.

[With deliberate condescension, he adds,] It's called 'taking personal responsibility.' I'm sure you'll learn it one day.

[bit_impossible]

Well, I wasn't about to put words in your mouth, and excuse or no, I'd like to know why it had to happen in the first place.

[frowns severely; pointedly] I'll have you know I take loads of personal responsibility, thanks.

[collector]

Are you sure your actions were the result of some kind of effect? You still seem to be feeling more than ordinarily contrary.

[bit_impossible]

[his left eyebrow, as always, raises up in question] I haven't tried to punch you again, have I?

[collector]

You have demonstrated Bernice's exceptional talent for taking offence when none is intended.

[bit_impossible]

None taken. Just proving a point.

[collector]

It's funny how often I find myself being presented with proofs I'm already familiar with.

[Braxiatel gets to his feet and straightens out his jacket.] Does that settle everything? I would like to get back.

[bit_impossible]

[he stands too] I believe so, yes. Well, actually... [he trails off for a moment, choosing his words] You know I do trust you with what you're doing for Romana and Gallifrey, but I'm trusting you with fixing what was done to Oliver as well, Brax.

And I mean everything, no matter how unpleasant.