Survival Horror!!!!

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[Deathmatches? Whatever, who cares. You know what really matters? Video Games. In fact, Ray and Chris care very much about this video game. It's Resident Evil 3 if you must know. They're sitting on a couch with a table between them and the TV. Said table already has a few beers finished or half-finished along with bags of crisps and various snack foods.

Ray is the one with the controller but they're both very into the game at the moment. Should you disturb them? Well, take a listen and see!]

[Chris has a hand on Ray's shoulder for moral support.] Uh, no, no, Ray, you gotta get behind the desk! 'Cos it can't fire through it. Ray!

I'm behind the bloody desk! Look! Desk! I'm runnin' into the damn thing! [totally running into the desk for emphasis!!!]

Maybe you need to run into it more? Oh, shit, he's gonna fire! You gotta run!

I can't run if you're yellin' at me! [attempt at dodging the rocket!!! attempt successful!!!] Shit, I don't think me bullets're goin' over the desk or sommat.

[Making vague and wild hand gestures.] Try the grenades! The launcher thing. It'll launch'em like...over it.

We already used those on the stairs, div! Okay, I think... maybe if when he's shootin', I go 'round the desk, shoot him, then go back behind it.

Yeah, yeah, do that, just careful 'cos he's a fast bastard.

[Who cares if they're fighting Nemesis? Bug them anyway! There's tons of beer and food at least?]

Comments

[gotitwrong]

You would.

[And he playfully shoves Chris because Chris is a div.]

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[Chris laughs and waves his hand.] Focus on that bastard!

[gotitwrong]

[Ray laughs in kind and attempts to go back to focusing, and he manages to get Nemesis into phase 2! No more rocket launcher, so now this'll be much easier.]

Kinda hard with you doin' your best to be a distraction! Think you're tryin' to make me look like a twonk at this.

[It's all in good humour, as Ray darts in and out from behind the desk, using the dodge button whenever he can to get himself either from behind it or back behind it.]

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

I'm not distracting you! You're just saying that so you've got an excuse for losing!

[He grins though, watching Ray play.]

[gotitwrong]

[While he doesn't shove Chris again, he does elbow him, thus giving him the power to give Chris a hard time while playing games! Gasp, what sort of villainy will he come up with next.]

Are so, div. And I am not! If anythin' I'm gonna beat him this time despite you tryin' to make me lose!

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[He grins and elbows him back.]

All right, so go on, then. Beat'em if you're so good.

[gotitwrong]

[Ray gives Chris a confident grin.]

I will.

[He's already in Phase 2, Chris! And he isn't messing up and isn't low on health! This might be the time!]

Only way you can make me lose now is if you try stealin' the controller.

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

Bet I could.

[SUDDENLY LAUNCHING FORWARD CHRIS!!!]

[gotitwrong]

You bastard!

[He isn't dead yet but he has been messed up, and now he must fight off Chris while fighting Nemesis! Using one hand, Ray deftly sends Jill behind a desk, and the other is immediately put on Chris' chest to shove him back! Precious seconds must be gained so he can shoot Nemesis more- a task that requires two hands!]

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[GASP BUT CHRIS IS AMAZING. Plus he's like a noodle. He wiggles in closer, arms flailing.

HE WILL HAVE THAT CONTROLLER.]

[gotitwrong]

[Ray sticks his controller arm far, far out, thus making the distance between Chris and controller even greater! He's laughing and grinning all the while as he changes tactics.

Chris cannot be contained by a mere hand! He requires the entire forearm! By God, Ray isn't going to give up without a fight. He'll lose potential distance, but in the long run, a forearm across the chest can stall Chris longer than just a hand!]

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[This tachic is indeed doing well at forcing Chris back and he's grinning and laughing as well as he flails more. He starts to try to climb over Ray, in fact, to get the controller.]

[gotitwrong]

[Oh no!

Ray has run out of options as Chris is successfully defeating his arm, so he makes a choice out of desperation.

He hits pause.

Then he drops the controller to the floor.]

Hah!

[What he has lost in the realm of controllers he has gained in the opposite realm of Fight Chris Off. His now free hand is thrust onto Chris' shoulder, and he attempts to use the combined power of his forearm across Chris' chest and the other hand on his shoulder to almost throw him back to his side of the couch!]

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[FINISHING MOVE SUCCESS. Chris, much like a very shocked cat, must now cling to the back of the couch to not fall off.]

Ray!!

[gotitwrong]

[Ray, upon seeing this, only laughs harder, practically doubling over. He tries to cover his mouth to keep himself from laughing, but it's no good, he's laughing anyway.]

It's- [He is interrupted with his own snickering and laughing.] It's your own fault you're- you're there, Chris!

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[Chris whines and reaches out to hit Ray. Unfortunately, he did not think this through very well, since it means he lets go of the sofa edge and simply tips right over it. He lands with a dull thud.]

Oh, bloody hell...

[gotitwrong]

[Okay now that? That is even more hilarious. Ray can't even get words now and he really is completely doubled over and probably on the verge of falling off the couch himself. Or at least he'd be over easily if Chris wanted to get revenge.]

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[Revenge time!! Chris manages to pull himself up and, while Ray is laughing, he launches himself forward. He rams Ray up against his side because, let's face it, Chris doesn't have the body strength for this otherwise.]

[gotitwrong]

[Ray was still laughing when Chris unleashed his second round assault. There was no way he could have predicted it, no way he could have known what was coming.

Chris caught Ray with his guard down.

By the time he realised what was going on, it was too late. He was going to be shoved off the couch by Chris' momentum, but he made one last flail to try to drag Chris down with him.]

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[Alas, Chris did not prepare beyond 'ram into Ray' and thus this is not the 'profit' part of the plan. He flails as well as he falls off the couch with Ray.

And yet his goal is remembered! The controller is near! Time to make a grab.]

[gotitwrong]

[No!

This cannot be allowed!

Ray frantically tries to bat the controller farther from Chris. If he must, he will switch their positioning and pin the man, but for now that is a last ditch scenario!]

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[Like a cat once again, Chris wiggles and paws at the controller, stretching his body out to reach it better.

IT WILL BE HIS.]

[gotitwrong]

[But Chris is no cat! Ray would say he can't get all floppy and things like cats do, but he knows this is untrue. Chris can become very much like a cat when he doesn't want to do things.

But regardless! Ray knows that at this rate, the controller will fall into the hands of one Mr. Skelton, and this cannot, cannot be allowed.

He must enact the last ditch scenario.

Ray throws all his effort (but not really, he doesn't actually want to hurt Chris) in reversing their positioning, with the results hopefully being Chris pinned underneath him!]

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[NOOOOOOOO-

But aha! While Ray is doing this, he can't get the controller, either! This is obviously somehow a clever plan or at least it will be once Chris figures out where the plan goes from here.

Still, he squirms valiantly!] C'mon! I'm gonna get it!

[gotitwrong]

[It is a terrible stalemate indeed. But Ray keeps Chris pinned, and grins smugly down at him.]

No way in hell you're gonna get it, Chris.

[This scene is Very Heterosexual. Very Heterosexual indeed.]