realityshifted | Survival Horror!!!!

Entry tags:

Survival Horror!!!!

[Deathmatches? Whatever, who cares. You know what really matters? Video Games. In fact, Ray and Chris care very much about this video game. It's Resident Evil 3 if you must know. They're sitting on a couch with a table between them and the TV. Said table already has a few beers finished or half-finished along with bags of crisps and various snack foods.

Ray is the one with the controller but they're both very into the game at the moment. Should you disturb them? Well, take a listen and see!]

[Chris has a hand on Ray's shoulder for moral support.] Uh, no, no, Ray, you gotta get behind the desk! 'Cos it can't fire through it. Ray!

I'm behind the bloody desk! Look! Desk! I'm runnin' into the damn thing! [totally running into the desk for emphasis!!!]

Maybe you need to run into it more? Oh, shit, he's gonna fire! You gotta run!

I can't run if you're yellin' at me! [attempt at dodging the rocket!!! attempt successful!!!] Shit, I don't think me bullets're goin' over the desk or sommat.

[Making vague and wild hand gestures.] Try the grenades! The launcher thing. It'll launch'em like...over it.

We already used those on the stairs, div! Okay, I think... maybe if when he's shootin', I go 'round the desk, shoot him, then go back behind it.

Yeah, yeah, do that, just careful 'cos he's a fast bastard.

[Who cares if they're fighting Nemesis? Bug them anyway! There's tons of beer and food at least?]

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[FINISHING MOVE SUCCESS. Chris, much like a very shocked cat, must now cling to the back of the couch to not fall off.]

Ray!!

[Ray, upon seeing this, only laughs harder, practically doubling over. He tries to cover his mouth to keep himself from laughing, but it's no good, he's laughing anyway.]

It's- [He is interrupted with his own snickering and laughing.] It's your own fault you're- you're there, Chris!

[Chris whines and reaches out to hit Ray. Unfortunately, he did not think this through very well, since it means he lets go of the sofa edge and simply tips right over it. He lands with a dull thud.]

Oh, bloody hell...

[Okay now that? That is even more hilarious. Ray can't even get words now and he really is completely doubled over and probably on the verge of falling off the couch himself. Or at least he'd be over easily if Chris wanted to get revenge.]

[Revenge time!! Chris manages to pull himself up and, while Ray is laughing, he launches himself forward. He rams Ray up against his side because, let's face it, Chris doesn't have the body strength for this otherwise.]

[Ray was still laughing when Chris unleashed his second round assault. There was no way he could have predicted it, no way he could have known what was coming.

Chris caught Ray with his guard down.

By the time he realised what was going on, it was too late. He was going to be shoved off the couch by Chris' momentum, but he made one last flail to try to drag Chris down with him.]

[Alas, Chris did not prepare beyond 'ram into Ray' and thus this is not the 'profit' part of the plan. He flails as well as he falls off the couch with Ray.

And yet his goal is remembered! The controller is near! Time to make a grab.]

[No!

This cannot be allowed!

Ray frantically tries to bat the controller farther from Chris. If he must, he will switch their positioning and pin the man, but for now that is a last ditch scenario!]

[Like a cat once again, Chris wiggles and paws at the controller, stretching his body out to reach it better.

IT WILL BE HIS.]

[But Chris is no cat! Ray would say he can't get all floppy and things like cats do, but he knows this is untrue. Chris can become very much like a cat when he doesn't want to do things.

But regardless! Ray knows that at this rate, the controller will fall into the hands of one Mr. Skelton, and this cannot, cannot be allowed.

He must enact the last ditch scenario.

Ray throws all his effort (but not really, he doesn't actually want to hurt Chris) in reversing their positioning, with the results hopefully being Chris pinned underneath him!]

[NOOOOOOOO-

But aha! While Ray is doing this, he can't get the controller, either! This is obviously somehow a clever plan or at least it will be once Chris figures out where the plan goes from here.

Still, he squirms valiantly!] C'mon! I'm gonna get it!

[It is a terrible stalemate indeed. But Ray keeps Chris pinned, and grins smugly down at him.]

No way in hell you're gonna get it, Chris.

[This scene is Very Heterosexual. Very Heterosexual indeed.]

[This is the most heterosexual scene in the history of ever.

Still Chris pouts.]

Damn bastard, I'm gonna!

[Ray doesn't budge.]

This bastard ain't gonna let you.

[As long as Ray doesn't let Chris escape, he still has a chance of beating the stupid fight!]

[Chris tries to buck against him as he squirms, attempting to slide his hands out to reach the controller.]

Gotta try harder then.

Oh really?

[Ray isn't budging. And should those hands get free, he is so grabbing them.]

Yeah.

Hey, Ray, uh....you know you can't have it on pause forever, right?

...What?

See? You're gonna have to let go and then I can get it.

[He gives Chris a doubtful look and tests it with:]

...I don't believe you.

[smug]

Then let's wait.

[He glances over to the controller, then the telly. It doesn't seem like there is a difference... he's not sure he wants to gamble the safety of his game on what may be a terrible, horrible lie!]

Fine. We'll see if you're just sayin' shit.

[Which means Chris may or may not be pinned for a little while. WHO WILL GIVE IN FIRST?]

[CHRIS MUST STAY CONFIDENT TO KEEP UP THE RUSE.

So he smiles.]

Yeah, should just be a few minutes.

Why the hell would a game have a limit on how long you can be paused?

[Must poke holes in Chris' ruse! Must! Somehow! It has to be terrible, evil Chris lies.]

[HE'LL THINK OF REASONS.]

'Cos it's not good for the game, sitting like that. The disc thing gets hot when it spins, right?

[Well he knows that part is true but he really believes that thing can run FOREVER.]

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