First Heist

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[A tall, gawky, gangly man stumbles into the plane carrying a tremendous, unwieldy ray-gun device. The thing dimmed and shut off from a bright purple glow. He glances around wildly: left, right, then down at the ray in his hands. He's mumbling quickly to himself, reaching up to awkwardly adjust the pair of goggles fitted to the top of his head.]

Was that supposed to happen? Dial's turned on, portal switched to open, parallel dimension setting's right, time window--

[His head snaps up, and, startled, he drops the gun with a loud clatter. It is as if he is realizing all at once that he's not alone.] Uh-- Hold on, just a minute-- [He clears his throat with a hacking cough, takes a deep breath and bellows out a (very well-rehearsed), bellowing evil laugh of evil laughs, a broad smirk on his face.]

AAAAAAAHAHAH AHA HA HAHAHA! People of this parallel universe! This dimension has been hijacked by DR. HORRIBLE. That's right, the super evil villain of Los Angeles, who so famously obtained his Ph.D. in HORRIBLENESS.

[He's beaming now. Yeah, he's got this, all right! He's gesturing with each emphatic sentence.]

I have opened a portal from my world... to yours. With my Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray, I have entered your universe and soon I'll be sweeping up the crumbs of your rotting society into my iron glove. You are now at my mercy in this new plaything I call [and he holds up his gloves hands in a victorious fashion, declaring dramatically at first, and tapering off toward the end,] Alternate Dimensional... Universe... Nexus... thing... Number 1. [He quickly moves on to the next matter of business.]

And there will be no heroes to save you here. I claim this dimension in the name of the Evil League of Evil! [He nods.] No running away this time. No handsome know-it-alls or corporate tools to buy their way out of it.

Just. Anarchy. Run by me.

[He stops to count off his fingers. Did this guy pre-rehearse this speech? Has he forgotten anything?] Introduction, evil intent, ruling with an iron glove, that it?

So. Um. [He clears his throat again and pulls his goggles down to cover his eyes, his voice deep and booming as he can make it.] Suffering! Yes! Your peaceful, uneventful lives are now over. Kiss it goodbye. Go on, hurry up - because the Horrible Takeover has already begun!

Brace yourselves, people of Alternate Dimension Number 1! This won't be pretty. Well, unless you cooperate, then it'll probably be pretty easy...

Comments

[destinedking.livejournal.com]

[have a handsome know-it-all jerk hero]

Laughable entrance aside, I'm afraid there will be no anarchy or suffering. Considering the confusion attached with finding this place, I will give you the chance to end this now on your own.

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[Beautiful. I'm sure you'll soon be headed into Horrible's prime spot of MOST HATED HERO in this dimension.]

End it, huh?

[Commence Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray power-up right now.]

[destinedking.livejournal.com]

[awesome!]

Yes, end it. I would prefer to avoid conflict if at all possible, but if that proves impossible, I can guarantee you that you will lose. Stop this now before you -

[he stops midsentence as the Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray begins powering up. He is looking at it with very visible disdain]

I'm sorry, but what exactly do you expect to do with that thing, whatever it is?

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[Well, doesn't his insufferably cocky attitude sound familiar. To Dr. Horrible, the reminder of his nemesis was something he could have done better without. He grits his teeth, but manages to force a pretty high-caliber evil smirk out of it, with a hearty evil chuckle to match.]

Before I do something horrible?

[Now he's slipping into every bit the role of a villain. He takes aim at the would-be hero, the hum in the gun getting louder and louder, its barrel glowing purple. No remorse...

Ah, crap, won't this thing work any faster?! Stall! Stall!]

Listen: I'm ready to branch out. And you're the one standing between me and infamy in this universe. Nothing personal.

[Yet.]

[destinedking.livejournal.com]

Not really. I was considering something more along the lines of idiotic, ill-conceived, regrettable.

[he raises an eyebrow and crosses his arm impatiently]

You are all ready making great strides towards infamy completely on your own, I can assure you.

[and he's back to looking at the gun again]

Is that glowing?

[and he is back on guard, a hand resting on his sheath, ready to pull out his sword if necessary]

I am not sure what kind of magic it is that you possess, but I demand that you put down whatever that is now. If you refuse to do this voluntarily, I will disarm you by force.

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[Infamy on his own? Great!]

Then I'm getting what I want, aren't I?

[Oh, he better not have superhuman strength. That's the worst kind. There's a glower on his face and maybe a smidgen of panic as he shakes his ray gun. As if that would make it power up faster.]

[destinedking.livejournal.com]

[oh Billy, you're adorable. Arthur on the other hand is not amused]

Yes you are, meaning there is no need for you to make a complete fool of yourself even further.

[sigh]

Are you really going to have me take that thing from you by force? I had hoped you would wish to maintain even the smallest amount of dignity.

[unfortunately no superhuman strength. He does take a warning step closer though, a step that gives Billy time to put that gun down.]

As I have asked others before you, will you punch y/n

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

Oh, please, are you some kind of ape? C'mon, hurry up, hurry up!

[Actually, Dr. Horrible's pleas weren't for naught. There's a loud click and an encouraging whir as the ray finally hits full power. Man, at least Arthur had it in him to talk at length instead of taking action. If Arthur had been his nemesis...

Well. Let's not go there.

One evil laugh later, and Dr. Horrible starts eagerly Hitting Those Dials. He switches back to his evil voice and haughtily declares,]

Are you ready?

[destinedking.livejournal.com]

[and Arthur is still far from impressed. While Dr. Horrible is Hitting Those Dials, Arthur will attempt to knock the ray out of Dr. Horrible's hand and twist his arm behind his back.]

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[GRRKKKHHHKH! Too slow!

Arthur knocks the ray, all right, but Dr. Horrible's clinging onto it so hard that it ends up slamming right into his face with a muffled cry. Ow ow ow ow then his arm, then his arm--He attempts, in vain, to knock Arthur on the back of the head with the ray, but it slips from his grasp. It finally clatters to the ground. The force of its fall triggers the ray's firing mechanism, and a thick purple beam fires uselessly into the floor.

Barely a manhole-sized glowing hole flickers for a good several seconds, then dissipates. All while Horrible is subjugated under Arthur's arm-twisting force.

The poor guy was just not built for good fistfights.]