realityshifted | First Heist

Entry tags:

dr. horrible (d1) dr. horrible/billy

First Heist

[A tall, gawky, gangly man stumbles into the plane carrying a tremendous, unwieldy ray-gun device. The thing dimmed and shut off from a bright purple glow. He glances around wildly: left, right, then down at the ray in his hands. He's mumbling quickly to himself, reaching up to awkwardly adjust the pair of goggles fitted to the top of his head.]

Was that supposed to happen? Dial's turned on, portal switched to open, parallel dimension setting's right, time window--

[His head snaps up, and, startled, he drops the gun with a loud clatter. It is as if he is realizing all at once that he's not alone.] Uh-- Hold on, just a minute-- [He clears his throat with a hacking cough, takes a deep breath and bellows out a (very well-rehearsed), bellowing evil laugh of evil laughs, a broad smirk on his face.]

AAAAAAAHAHAH AHA HA HAHAHA! People of this parallel universe! This dimension has been hijacked by DR. HORRIBLE. That's right, the super evil villain of Los Angeles, who so famously obtained his Ph.D. in HORRIBLENESS.

[He's beaming now. Yeah, he's got this, all right! He's gesturing with each emphatic sentence.]

I have opened a portal from my world... to yours. With my Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray, I have entered your universe and soon I'll be sweeping up the crumbs of your rotting society into my iron glove. You are now at my mercy in this new plaything I call [and he holds up his gloves hands in a victorious fashion, declaring dramatically at first, and tapering off toward the end,] Alternate Dimensional... Universe... Nexus... thing... Number 1. [He quickly moves on to the next matter of business.]

And there will be no heroes to save you here. I claim this dimension in the name of the Evil League of Evil! [He nods.] No running away this time. No handsome know-it-alls or corporate tools to buy their way out of it.

Just. Anarchy. Run by me.

[He stops to count off his fingers. Did this guy pre-rehearse this speech? Has he forgotten anything?] Introduction, evil intent, ruling with an iron glove, that it?

So. Um. [He clears his throat again and pulls his goggles down to cover his eyes, his voice deep and booming as he can make it.] Suffering! Yes! Your peaceful, uneventful lives are now over. Kiss it goodbye. Go on, hurry up - because the Horrible Takeover has already begun!

Brace yourselves, people of Alternate Dimension Number 1! This won't be pretty. Well, unless you cooperate, then it'll probably be pretty easy...

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[Braxiatel just smiles in response to this speech, politely declining to go for the obvious joke about Dr Horrible's Ph.D.]

How enthusiastic. It's a pleasure to meet you, Doctor. I only hope King Alexander won't be too aggressive territorially. Am I to take it you didn't arrive here through a small shop selling the most curious of curiosities?

Oh what the hell, seriously?! Put the ray gun down. Or Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray, I don't really care.

Edited 2010-04-20 03:38 (UTC)

Hahaha! What an interesting young man! I enjoy your boldness, but if you want this place, you'll have to fight me for it! I am already Lord and King of this Plane, so we will have to do battle to see who is the better ruler!

What?

[It seems Dr. Horrible is a little bit of a spazz. He whirls around to face the stranger, bending down to sweep up his ray-gun from the ground.]

King A-what?? [He coughs] Dude. Look. Mad scientist hostile takeover going on here. Guy with a dangerous Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray. YOUR SHOP OF CURIOUS... CURIOSITY... THINGS DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. The only curious curiosity making curiosities anymore will be me.

Are you going to kneel or not?

[mildly] Oh, what Bernice would say if she could hear that one.

[His smile remains distant and half-amused. Dangerous technological weapons don't seem to bother him much.]

That would be King Alexander of Macedon, known generally as Alexander the Great? You may not have heard of him. This is a meeting place between multiple, often alternate universes, so he may not exist in your world's history. King Alexander has claimed this place as his own, and as no one saw fit to contest his claim, I imagine he is ruler of it still.

[Braxiatel holds out his hand. If Billy has any attention to detail, he might notice that the cufflinks this guy is wearing are in the shape of a triple helix - and that the strands are made of the ruby, sapphire, and emerald stones. We are talking a ridiculously well-dressed gentleman here.] Irving Braxiatel. How do you do?

[Dr. Horrible just kind of blinks at this chick, confused. It's not like an Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray can kill--- Oh. Now he sees the benefit in this. He can't help the sneaking awkward glance at her boob-window. He tightens his resolve, points the ray gun at her and scoffs in a most evil and unremorseful fashion.]

No!

I don't know you, so I'm just going to let you know that I'm bulletproof. And laser proof. And probably "Trans Dimensional Teleportation" proof, but I'm also going to guess that you're thinking that your ray gun got you here. So put it down, or I'm going to have to fold it in half.

Battle?

Listen, there isn't going to be a battle, because I'm keeping all the heroes out of here. All clean. And with one shot of this Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray, I'll send them off to Horrible Dimensions 2, 3, and 4 and trap them there. Forever.

There's just going to be a little bit of a pain and suffering while I get rid of this dying system and this will all be----aaaah did you say... King of This Plane?

Indeed! I am Alexander III of Macedon, and I have added this territory to my conquests. I have been waiting for someone to put up a fight, so I welcome your challenge!

[Dr. Horrible's eyes twitch, a nervous tic of his. Clearly, Dr. Horrible is disconcerted by Irving's calmness. He reaches up and gives his goggles a little bit of a twist, tightening the eye coverlets, readjusting their position on his head.

Where's all the panic? This isn't going as planned. He stares awkwardly at the extended hand.]

You're not even taking this seriously.

[He lowers the ray-gun with a frown and flexes a gloved hand. Oh, he'll make the people here take him seriously. He'll show them! Eventually. When, you know, he brings over a larger arsenal of Rays. The Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray looks like it's out of batteries, anyway.]

Yeah. Alexander the Great. The dead Macedonian conquerer... guy. Wasn't he in the history books?

Is he your local hero or something like that?

Oh, I'm taking this very seriously. But I see no reason to behave irrationally about it. Do you?

[With a shrug, he withdraws his hand.]

A local hero? [Brax's laugh is brief.] Oh, hardly. No, I'm from a bit further away than Macedon. But I do care a great deal about history. What year is it, where you are? And if you think that's a peculiar question, please try to remember that you're at a meeting point between universes. Time streams breaking synchronization is practically inevitable.

[Despite his calm dispassion, Braxiatel never turns his focus away from Billy. He is taking in more than Billy's style or expression; he is looking at Dr Horrible's posture, the materials in his clothing, the movement of his eyes. And Brax is still smiling that half-amused smile.]

[His left eye twitches involuntarily. If he didn't know any better, she was starting to sound like a Hero.]

No way! I got this thing insured. No destroying my Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray, or I'll be sending the inter-dimensional bill... Miss... low-cut shirt.

[He snaps the gun back up to her face. Even with all her bragging, he doesn't trust it.]

Who are you, anyway?

Right, now we're on to the boob jokes. I'm Power Girl, and seriously, if you keep pointing that at me I'm not going to keep trying to be diplomatic.

Ne, I'm not really knowledgeable about these things, but is it really anarchy if it's run by someone?

[Eye-twitch. Readjusts his goggles.]

What's anarchy if I'm not there to rule it?

{Giggles} I was just pointing something out, is all. Ne, but you want power? But power is so boring.

No, I want an overhaul of the system. You know, with me at the top.

Is that so? What's wrong with it? Other than you not being at the top, of course.

Everything. [He's very emphatic and forceful about it. He realizes that it was probably awkward and reels it in a little when he continues.] Can't you see it? The world's a mess, with all those corporate liars running it to death.

[ Just... staring. This guy is for real, isn't he? ]

Nobody lives here.

[ Have the standard Sefton disclaimer, while we're at it. ]

Power Girl? That makes you a hero, doesn't it? [Dr. Horrible says it with a wrinkle of his nose. Ugh, heroes. Just like them to have cheesy, straightforward names. No creativity. None of them.

Not that Dr. Horrible--But that's different, you see.]

I'll keep this easy. [Did his grip on the ray tremble, or was that a trick of the light?] You take one step closer, and I'll shoot, which will send you directly to Horrible Dimension Number 2. HAHAHAHAHA! ... And don't think I'll help you get back, either. [Blink. Blink. Twitch. He hoped he had enough juice left in the ray to send this girl to another dimension and get him home to the lab. Or, you know, that the girl would take his warning and back away.]

Nobody?! But--

[Ahem! There was a crack in his voice, there. He clears his throat, adjusting it to fit his Dr. Horrible supervillain persona.]

Who are you trying to fool? I, Dr. Horrible, have already met several of the locals!

Besides, what do you call yourself?

[ That just earns him some eyebrow raising. You're very bad at being intimidating, dude. ] Passing through. Like you are.

So, what, now you're trying to tell me that all of you have Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Rays, too? Right. Nice try. This beauty is one of a kind. I built it myself. I should know, being the Horrible person that... built it.

[ Without another word, he drops from the Plane. He comes back a moment later, a halfway expectant look on his face. ] Don't need one.

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First Heist

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