First Heist

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[A tall, gawky, gangly man stumbles into the plane carrying a tremendous, unwieldy ray-gun device. The thing dimmed and shut off from a bright purple glow. He glances around wildly: left, right, then down at the ray in his hands. He's mumbling quickly to himself, reaching up to awkwardly adjust the pair of goggles fitted to the top of his head.]

Was that supposed to happen? Dial's turned on, portal switched to open, parallel dimension setting's right, time window--

[His head snaps up, and, startled, he drops the gun with a loud clatter. It is as if he is realizing all at once that he's not alone.] Uh-- Hold on, just a minute-- [He clears his throat with a hacking cough, takes a deep breath and bellows out a (very well-rehearsed), bellowing evil laugh of evil laughs, a broad smirk on his face.]

AAAAAAAHAHAH AHA HA HAHAHA! People of this parallel universe! This dimension has been hijacked by DR. HORRIBLE. That's right, the super evil villain of Los Angeles, who so famously obtained his Ph.D. in HORRIBLENESS.

[He's beaming now. Yeah, he's got this, all right! He's gesturing with each emphatic sentence.]

I have opened a portal from my world... to yours. With my Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray, I have entered your universe and soon I'll be sweeping up the crumbs of your rotting society into my iron glove. You are now at my mercy in this new plaything I call [and he holds up his gloves hands in a victorious fashion, declaring dramatically at first, and tapering off toward the end,] Alternate Dimensional... Universe... Nexus... thing... Number 1. [He quickly moves on to the next matter of business.]

And there will be no heroes to save you here. I claim this dimension in the name of the Evil League of Evil! [He nods.] No running away this time. No handsome know-it-alls or corporate tools to buy their way out of it.

Just. Anarchy. Run by me.

[He stops to count off his fingers. Did this guy pre-rehearse this speech? Has he forgotten anything?] Introduction, evil intent, ruling with an iron glove, that it?

So. Um. [He clears his throat again and pulls his goggles down to cover his eyes, his voice deep and booming as he can make it.] Suffering! Yes! Your peaceful, uneventful lives are now over. Kiss it goodbye. Go on, hurry up - because the Horrible Takeover has already begun!

Brace yourselves, people of Alternate Dimension Number 1! This won't be pretty. Well, unless you cooperate, then it'll probably be pretty easy...

Comments

[collector]

[Braxiatel just smiles in response to this speech, politely declining to go for the obvious joke about Dr Horrible's Ph.D.]

How enthusiastic. It's a pleasure to meet you, Doctor. I only hope King Alexander won't be too aggressive territorially. Am I to take it you didn't arrive here through a small shop selling the most curious of curiosities?

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

What?

[It seems Dr. Horrible is a little bit of a spazz. He whirls around to face the stranger, bending down to sweep up his ray-gun from the ground.]

King A-what?? [He coughs] Dude. Look. Mad scientist hostile takeover going on here. Guy with a dangerous Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray. YOUR SHOP OF CURIOUS... CURIOSITY... THINGS DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. The only curious curiosity making curiosities anymore will be me.

Are you going to kneel or not?

[boob-window.livejournal.com]

Oh what the hell, seriously?! Put the ray gun down. Or Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray, I don't really care.

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[Dr. Horrible just kind of blinks at this chick, confused. It's not like an Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray can kill--- Oh. Now he sees the benefit in this. He can't help the sneaking awkward glance at her boob-window. He tightens his resolve, points the ray gun at her and scoffs in a most evil and unremorseful fashion.]

No!

[oikoumene.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! What an interesting young man! I enjoy your boldness, but if you want this place, you'll have to fight me for it! I am already Lord and King of this Plane, so we will have to do battle to see who is the better ruler!

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

Battle?

Listen, there isn't going to be a battle, because I'm keeping all the heroes out of here. All clean. And with one shot of this Instant Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray, I'll send them off to Horrible Dimensions 2, 3, and 4 and trap them there. Forever.

There's just going to be a little bit of a pain and suffering while I get rid of this dying system and this will all be----aaaah did you say... King of This Plane?

[madamemoiselle.livejournal.com]

Ne, I'm not really knowledgeable about these things, but is it really anarchy if it's run by someone?

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[Eye-twitch. Readjusts his goggles.]

What's anarchy if I'm not there to rule it?

[polarization]

[ Just... staring. This guy is for real, isn't he? ]

Nobody lives here.

[ Have the standard Sefton disclaimer, while we're at it. ]

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

Nobody?! But--

[Ahem! There was a crack in his voice, there. He clears his throat, adjusting it to fit his Dr. Horrible supervillain persona.]

Who are you trying to fool? I, Dr. Horrible, have already met several of the locals!

Besides, what do you call yourself?

[lamb_of_gold]

...I beg your pardon?

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

'I beg your pardon?' Did you even hear me?

[poshmouthytart.livejournal.com]

Evil League of Evil? It's apparent your Ph.D. in Horribleness didn't come with a thesaurus, did it?

[Hi Billy, meet Alex. Alex likes to emasculate men. Among other things.]

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

More sarcasm. My favorite.

Try nuclear physics.

[bodilesswarrior.livejournal.com]

[Barbara is amused, and makes absolutely no attempts to hide it as she rolls herself forward]

And I thought 'Injustice League' was a bit on the nose.

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

Hey, I never said the E.L.E. wasn't direct.

[Dr. Horrible screws the eye coverlets of his goggles just a smidge tighter.]

What kind of posers join something called the Injustice League, anyway? Who do they think they're fooling?

[miseardae.livejournal.com]

...Oh, this is simply embarrassing.

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

Maybe for you. When you... [eye-twitch] start kneeling.

[cosmic-engineer.livejournal.com]

[Omega is just going to stand here, eyeing the ray gun and looking generally unimpressed.]

Apparently there is no limit to human ridiculousness.

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

Okay, I get it: the speech needs work.

[bytwo.livejournal.com]

[River just. Stares. For a minute.

And then burst out in peals of helpless laughter. THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH SHE CAN BE EXPECTED TO TAKE.]

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

Ha. Ha. Ha.

[Dr. Horrible's mood has gone down the tubes. If he had his fully-charged Freeze Ray in his grasp right now, all of these people would be nice, silent, frozen statues. He'll have to think ahead next time.]

Y'know, laughing at a super villain at a time like this? Not a good idea.

apologies in advance for slowness x.x

[charmandsmiles.livejournal.com]

[Have a Doctor, Billy! Who is also laughing at you. More to the Plane than to Billy;] Oi, when I said I wanted a new best enemy, this wasn't exactly what I meant. I have got some standards, y'know.

NO PROBLEM! I will keep tagging you for as long as it takes!

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[Practically muttering and mumbling to himself at this point, his arms folded tightly across his chest,] Oh, look, we agree on some level. Standards are a good start.


... Dude, you are way too late. I already have a nemesis.

[oliverplus]

[stares] You...what? [can't help it; he bursts out laughing]

1/2

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

What is wrong with you people?

[maturelildevil.livejournal.com]

[for a moment, Kaoru's torn between staring disbelievingly at this guy--honestly, he can't be serious can he?!--and laughing hysterically. soon, he drops off the Plane to do the latter and returns composed before he sighs and shrugs wearily]

I'm actually visiting from Alternate Dimension Number 2, so you can't rule over me. Sorry.

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say that visitors are exempt, but it'd give you a pretty good tale to tell your friends at home, wouldn't it?

[bwahahabeetle.livejournal.com]

...Seriously? [Ted's all suited up and definitely trying to hide a grin. This guy kinda reminds him of himself. Except, well, evil.] Okay, good luck with that, first of all. There's a lot of heroes around, including myself.

Second of all, can we put the trans-dimensional teleport ray down? Not that it's not interesting, but -- come on, man, I kinda like this place not destroyed.

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

Very funny, I was just thinking this place could use some redecorating on a large scale. [little nod] Maybe a new lab. Good for science.

[Yeah, he's not giving up his Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray, and that's clear from the roll of his eyes. But since you are obviously an obnoxious hero-type, Ted, he'll be leveling it at you right about now.

Of course, it's not powered up yet, and that takes a few seconds to accomplish, so really it's just an attempt by Dr. Horrible to maintain distance between the superhero and himself.]

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil might actually be the first person to take him seriously. Besides Alexander. Who is most definitely the hero type.

Emil, on the other hand...]

W... what? You can't take this place over!

[He puts on a brave face!]

This is our home! ... Sort of. A-anyway, I'll stop you!

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[Dr. Horrible stares at Emil for a second, somewhat bewildered. How old was this ... boy? He quickly composes himself with a weary sigh.]

Go home, kid. I'm not gonna pick a fight with you.

[destinedking.livejournal.com]

[have a handsome know-it-all jerk hero]

Laughable entrance aside, I'm afraid there will be no anarchy or suffering. Considering the confusion attached with finding this place, I will give you the chance to end this now on your own.

[horriblyevil.livejournal.com]

[Beautiful. I'm sure you'll soon be headed into Horrible's prime spot of MOST HATED HERO in this dimension.]

End it, huh?

[Commence Trans-Dimensional Teleport Ray power-up right now.]