It was inevitable.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

[Crowley appears on the Plane on his beloved white leather sofa, kicked back sans shoes and jacket, reading what looks to be some sort of financial journal. He's got a red pen in one hand, but rather than marking in the journal he appears to just be tapping the non-marking end of it thoughtfully against his mouth.]

[Henrietta appears on his heels, looking absolutely livid.] Bloody hell, Dad!

[eyes still on the journal] Mm.

[She grabs it out of his hands.] What did you do to him. Where did he go?

[finally looks up, calmly] I'm certain he'll turn up in a week or so. Jamaica this time, perhaps. Probably even safe and sound.

Dad! You can't banish every boy that steps inside the flat! [She throws the magazine at him.]

[...oof. He grabs for the journal.] You mean I've done this before? [a thoughtful pause, then a smirk] Good for me.

No, not good for you! I still have James in a terrarium in my room since you've forgotten. We were working on a biology project!

[Crowley snorts and goes back to leafing through his magazine.] Biology. That's rich.

[GAH. She's got teenage Furious Tears(tm) going now.] Just because you've not the balls to drag the angel into bed—

[Rising off the sofa now, looking slightly furious himself.] Don't bring anyone elssse into thisss, young lady.

You're the one who brought boyfriends into it! [She stands her ground, resisting the urge to stomp her foot.]

Your room. Now.

Comments

[contract_star]

We didn't get to that point with Xin, but the years Eiri was that age... [Heeeeavy sigh.] I'm not sure having a teenage boy is any more or less trying than having a teenage girl.

And more than that, it's Henrietta. [FFFTT the idea of Little Sister messing around with some boy...!]

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Ngh. It doesn't help that she's grown up with me as a role model. [...yeah not mentioning the angel. Just...no.] I knew this was going to be a disaster.

[contract_star]

[He could mention something about relationship stability here, but he decides not to.] Teenagers are...well, they're going to run off and do their own thing eventually. You just...have to try and guide them as best you can.

And lock them up, if you have to.

At any rate, at least it's just an experiment.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

[Yeaaah, probably for the best :|b]

Thank God for small favours. [Oh yeah, he went there.]

Moral guidance isn't exactly my forte.

[contract_star]

Well...has Aziraphale been any help? [Tentative...]

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

I don't know. From the way she talks he must've been around at least part of the time before this all happened. He's even got her school marks posted on his fridge supposedly. You'd never know from the way she acts though, would you?

[contract_star]

But you two didn't... [Cuts himself off. Sigh, Crowley, you're as bad as Hei and Misaki.]

Do you think he'd be able to talk sense into her, at least?

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

[The sunglasses hide a GLARE OF DEATH]

I dunno. I suppose it's worth the call.

[contract_star]

[Meets the glare that he knows is there quite levelly.]

He might have some insight, at the very least.

[Pauses as something occurs to him, slightly out of the blue. Curiously,] Do demons...can you actually have kids?

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Mn.

[shakes his head] No. There'd be legions of bastards running around if we could.

[contract_star]

Hm. I suppose that's true. [Hei isn't really sure what to think. It's one thing to just think you'll be a terrible parent and never have kids, but it's another to be deprived of the option completely.]

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

[Despite himself, Crowley chuckles]

I hate to imagine the amount of child support I'd owe by this point.

[contract_star]

[Snorts.] Infinitely more than you're worth, no doubt.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

[sobering a bit]

Is it my imagining or have there been an over-abundance of experiments as of late?

[contract_star]

...You're right. There have been a lot...never mind this recent spate, with everyone looking like strangers.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Mm, but I was thinking of just that. I wonder what's going on?

[contract_star]

[He shakes his head.] I have no idea. They do tend to come in waves, sometimes.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Ah. That's reassuring.

[contract_star]

Isn't it just.