treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{House is sitting at his fairly cluttered desk, flipping a tennis ball in the hook of his cane idly with his feet propped up. Of notice on his desk are bone marrow biopsy tests, which are negative, and a blue folder labeled "TYLER" with just a few notes inside, it looks like.}

Female, 26, tonic clonic seizure. History of fatigue and a retinal vein occlusion two years ago. Took ecstasy about five hours before the seizure, according to Thirteen, placing two women, one of them my employees, together at about 3 A.M.. The patient rates Thirteen a seven, which is much more interesting than the probable cause of, unsurprisingly, drugs.

{He almost misses catching the ball, but an excellent save}

Thirteen thinks that the patient is a hypochondriac, but it's probably more like Thirteen doesn't want me asking this patient more about Thirteen than I really wanted to know. Maybe I should hire this girl to grab Thirteen's Huntington's test results next time Thirteen is feeling frisky. Lucas is too busy investigating Wilson's carbohydrate intake.

So, just in case it's not drugs, who wants to do some simple roleplaying for my team? Don't worry, no thinking involved, just stand there and look pretty. One of you disagree with everything I say, one of you agree, and the other one, don't decide on anything. It should be pretty easy.

{And as an afterthought, like he would forget,} Oh, and I need something from my crazy coma patient. You know who you are, so I don't really need to say much more than that.

Comments

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Wait, you can hear the doctors in 2006?

[didorothy]

[errr...]

Yeah. Through, uh... the radio or the television, usually. Sometimes apart from it, but not often. When I - there have been times when I've heard it directly. But usually it's through an electronic transmitter of some sort.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{So many things to say to that}

So I'm guessing that you either have an inappropriate attachment to technology or you have a sick brain that's having a good time torturing you.

{It's interesting, though} So, nihilism aside, what do they say? Anything useful? Or do they babel on about who's dating who, which I imagine would be really annoying to randomly hear through your TV.

[didorothy]

[ignoring that]

I'll usually get updates on my condition - which isn't usually much - and if they've gotten my medication wrong - again - that's how I usually find out. That and the Camberwick Green thing.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

I won't try and imagine how it's possible to get medication wrong for a coma patient. It's not like they run away or flail around.

What was the last update?

[didorothy]

[Sam folds his arms] When I went blind for a week, they said... that they'd noticed something. Something they thought was a clot. So they're doing scans to see what it is. But I didn't hear what they were looking for, and I haven't heard anything since.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{Dripping with sarcasm} Oh, well, good to see they keep you updated.

[didorothy]

You'll get sarcasm on the papers if you keep spilling it like that.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I laminate them for that very reason.

[didorothy]

And I thought all that gloss was from your ego.

[Somewhere, Gene is likely getting irritated, because Sam puts his fingers to his face to block the light from his eyes. Goddamned headaches!]

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Oh come on. I'm not that annoying.

[didorothy]

Not quite. It's been - headaches, lately. I blame my DCI.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

How bad?

[didorothy]

Nothing incapacitating. There was - a bit, but it's on-and-off and it hasn't been anything interfere with work.

[which is what matters, in Sam's universe]

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

So is it like getting a bruise poked painful or having some psychopath shooting you in the leg painful?

{House knows both. They suck.}

[didorothy]

[Sam knows both too! Thanks, Josef Mengele]

Bruise being squeezed, more like.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Take some Tylenol then, go back to work.

[didorothy]

[rolls his eyes (and then tries not to flinch because apparently, someone out there is aggravating Gene right now)]

I do.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{Somehow, somewhere, Gene Hunt is boshing a nonce}

Take some Vicodin, then. I'm not sharing, though. You'll have to get your own.

[didorothy]

I'm not asking for a solution. I manage just fine with it. But I thought it might be worth noting.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

So then you're a masochist. I'll note that too in the case file.

[didorothy]

[grumbly]

I have to be with my co-workers.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Which has to do with...?

[didorothy]

Considering that they could be constructs of my mind, plenty.