treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{House is sitting at his fairly cluttered desk, flipping a tennis ball in the hook of his cane idly with his feet propped up. Of notice on his desk are bone marrow biopsy tests, which are negative, and a blue folder labeled "TYLER" with just a few notes inside, it looks like.}

Female, 26, tonic clonic seizure. History of fatigue and a retinal vein occlusion two years ago. Took ecstasy about five hours before the seizure, according to Thirteen, placing two women, one of them my employees, together at about 3 A.M.. The patient rates Thirteen a seven, which is much more interesting than the probable cause of, unsurprisingly, drugs.

{He almost misses catching the ball, but an excellent save}

Thirteen thinks that the patient is a hypochondriac, but it's probably more like Thirteen doesn't want me asking this patient more about Thirteen than I really wanted to know. Maybe I should hire this girl to grab Thirteen's Huntington's test results next time Thirteen is feeling frisky. Lucas is too busy investigating Wilson's carbohydrate intake.

So, just in case it's not drugs, who wants to do some simple roleplaying for my team? Don't worry, no thinking involved, just stand there and look pretty. One of you disagree with everything I say, one of you agree, and the other one, don't decide on anything. It should be pretty easy.

{And as an afterthought, like he would forget,} Oh, and I need something from my crazy coma patient. You know who you are, so I don't really need to say much more than that.

Comments

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[He tried to resist. He really did. But the repeated flipping and catching of the ball is too much for him, and he jumps for it.]

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{Oh no you don't. He catches it in his hand before Ianto can grab it, but stares with a decidedly "wtf" expression}

Hey, get your own. If you're going to try and steal my stuff, at least be more discreet.

[damnfinecoffee.livejournal.com]

[Staring back with a 'wtf' expression of his own. He really wants to pretend that didn't just happen.]

I wasn't stealing it!

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

[Have a faintly interested looking Brigitta] I'm guessing you're a doctor of some sort?

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

{Sarcastic} No, of course not. I'm a pole dancer, I just like talking about medicine. It's a boring hobby.

[oldoldghost.livejournal.com]

[Also sarcastic] Sorry, my mistake, now that I get a better look at you I see that you're obviously the type of person that dances around poles.

[didorothy]

Do you spy on everyone you know?

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Not everyone. I haven't spied on Kutner yet.

[didorothy]

Only a matter of time, I'm sure.

What do you need?

[galeforcehero.livejournal.com]

I'd be glad to help. What do you need?

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Nothing, really. The biopsy results were negative, so unless she crashes, she'll be discharged. But it's never that easy for cases I take.

[galeforcehero.livejournal.com]

Oh. So it was just drugs, then? That's anticlimactic.

[marthajonesmd.livejournal.com]

[wryly] Sounds more like a soap opera than any hospital I've ever worked at. Or a bad ITV drama, what with the lesbians and all.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Definitely not a soap opera. I'm not in love with any of my coworkers.

[marthajonesmd.livejournal.com]

[snort] Good plan. That always makes things messy. [Martha's peering at your files now, House]

[chasingstars201.livejournal.com]

[...that last bit is what gets her attention.]

Are you a neurological specialist of some kind?

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Diagnostician. I have a neurological specialist readily available, though.

{A pause} Kinda busy, though. If you want to dump a case on me, you'll have to present it to me and take a number.

[chasingstars201.livejournal.com]

[She picks up the 'TYLER' file and examines the folder without opening it. Her expression is unreadably blank.]

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

[Oh what the He- er, Manchester. Crowley's still in his girl form, because why not.]

Roleplaying? Is that really going to help?

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Not really, but it's nice to bounce ideas off someone.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

[S/he clears a small bit of desk and hops up to perch on the edge]

All right then, bounce away.

[lamb_of_gold]

Musing aloud?

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

Something like that. And hanging out here so I don't get Thirteen running into my office to yell at me about something I don't care about.

[knowswheregodis.livejournal.com]

[Chris wanders over, a little cautious of the Plane these days but around House looks safe, so he'll go to him. He pauses and - did House just mention Sam? Is that a Tyler folder? ...Hm.

Nah.

Chris just smiles.] You sound like a doctor or something.

[house-1-god-0.livejournal.com]

I sound like one, but I'm actually a cop. Very good actor, you see.