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[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

...

..

.

{It's not human, that much is obvious. In fact, it's almost cute. It's all white, wearing a classy top hat and has a long, curved nose-bill thing. No one is really sure what it is. However, this thing that has arrived on the Plane, though it may not appear so, is pure horror.}

You know, this place reminds me of a time in the 12th century, which, coincidentally, coincides with my legend.

So let me tell you of it.

{It stands primly with its cane}

My legend begins in the 12th century. It is a sad tale. {Tear}

But I should hope that you like to hear it!

{It begins thoughtfully, as if the thing is looking into the distance as he tells his tale with a dramatic tone}

For once, I met a girl, and this girl was beautiful. We have four children together. We went to the baseball stadium last week. You see, that is this picture. {Out of nowhere, comes a photograph of a woman from the head down and three identical copies of this odd thing}

But while watching this game, I had a thought. A nostalgic thought of times past when I was a part of a street gang. Those were rough times, but then I met a girl. A beautiful girl. She said to me, "Excalibur, please...don't forget that I love you".

As we stood upon a cliff overlooking the city lights, "Cassie," I said....

"Let me tell you of my legend."

{It's like a dance move as the thing stands on a toe with its arms spread wide, its cane still in hand}

"It begins in the 12th century."

{Then back to standing primly, with a solemn tone}

And that is why there must always be a dehumidifier in my room.

Comments

[didorothy]

[waves around the hat, trying to shake Excalibur off]

I bloody well would not!

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

{Nope it's stuck}

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

Of course...

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

I should expect no more from an uncultured country bumpkin.

[didorothy]

And I should expect no more from a talking, walking, police-officer-assaulting, bloody annoying stick!

[each adjective is puncuated by a shake of the hat]

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

{pop, the hat pops off}

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

{And a flood of canes comes out}

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

{And a single extra hat}

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

{That he puts on}

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

That's assault you know.

[didorothy]

[stares at the hat, then Excalibur. Then throws the extra hat away]

It's called 'policing' where I come from. You can get away with murder if you've a warrant card and a solid alibi.

[he is very cranky, but it's hard to say if he's cranky at Excalibur or at '73 for having ridiculously immoral police officers]

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

Would you like a copy of my book?

[didorothy]

No, I would not.

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

Would you like to hear of my legend?

[didorothy]

I'll have to politely decline.

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

Then I must sing you a song.

[pimp-my-legend.livejournal.com]

Here we go!!

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