[Aziraphale was in the Astral kitchen, making coffee, when he discovered one of the puzzle games on his iPhone. Now he is wrestling with his iPhone while the coffee boils over behind him.]

Oh come now. I said that. Well, not said, typed. Tapped. Whatever it is you do on these blessed--

....now that just isn't fair.

[Az appears in nothing but a towel, his wings as BRIGHT AND COLORFUL AS A FRIGGIN' MACAW'S. He looks incensed.] Of all the undignified--

[Aziraphale shows up wrestling with what appears to be a scorched and smoking wolf, easily three times the size of a normal animal. The teeth look like they should be too big for its mouth but something winched the creature's jaw into dislocation to get them to fit. Red and black drool oozes from the corners of its mouth and runs down the line of its jaw. It hisses. Its tail lashes, stabbing into Aziraphale's leg. He snarls, smashes his swordhilt against its jaw and sending it crashing off of him.]

[He rolls to his feet, scratched and bleeding, black hairs riddling his forearms. Apparently what looks like fur is actually fine, porcupine-like spines. The creature's jaw opens, opens, opens into a grotesque howl that sounds like a harmony of human and animal screams.]

[And then it bursts into blue flame.]

[Az rubs tiredly at his forehead.]

Foolish at best. Really.

[An angel with white wings unfolded appears on the plane, poking determinedly at something that appears to be an iPhone. It makes a very odd picture, as he's wearing flowing robes, sandals, and a sword at his hip. After a moment he scowls and looks around.]

All right, where are you, Crowley? I've managed to access these... lewd messages of yours, but how do I get rid of them? Do you realize where I was?! That ring-thing kept playing every five minutes, they were all staring, and then I tried to make it stop and that message about whatsispants getting... getting... sexually excited started playing to the entire room!

[What started as a drunken dare has ended with Crowley and Aziraphale (the second) sitting next to the Christmas tree and giggling like a pair of schoolboys who've just turned loose the science teacher's frogs. A plate strewn with a few crumbs sits nearby.]

[Crowley is leaning back against Aziraphale, tie half undone and collar unbuttoned, a mostly empty bottle of cheap wine in one hand.] And then. And then. Do you remember, back in Athens? I interr- int'rupted your party and you...you— [pitches off into a fit of hysterical laughter]

[Aziraphale wipes his eyes under his glasses, sputtering. He's flushed, and there's a bit of a stain on one sleeve from what looks (and smells) like a spill of alcohol.] Oh He- Hev- That was a night I fear I'll never forget. Though, I didn't tell, never, I didn't tell you that, when their faces--you remember, when you came bursting through in that outfit, their faces--I nearabout had a heart attack from trying not, from laughing. From trying not to laugh.

[It takes a moment for Crowley to contain his laughter to the point where he's capable of speech again.] No no no. The best part—the best part is, I left the poor sod wand'rin' the streets. In Athens. At night. Next to naked, with fifty drachmas in his hands— [laughing again]

[And Az can't even respond; he sags against Crowley, eyes closed, laughing until he's gasping for air.]

((ooc: Backdating a little~))

[He appears with wings extended and smeared with sashes of blood. There’s spots of it on his face, his arms, his clothes; it sizzles and evaporates on his sword, which rolls with white-hot flames. His clothing itself is conspicuous: a tidy silver loose-knit turtle neck and jeans. No frump, no bulges or rumples. Simple, practical--and covered in blood.] ...Metatron?

[There’s ill-disguised fear in the name.] Oh, come now. I’ve not used a miracle in weeks. And if this is about that wellspring, they needed water. There was nothing in miles of the place, and you did say that I could use miracles for my wards in extreme circumstances.

[A pause]

Metatron? My dear boy. You may be fond of intimidation, but I would have hoped the two of us were past that at this point. Now, if you don’t feel like keeping me, I should get back. That was a rather unpleasant skirmish. [Tiredly] Or were you looking for a report? At least let us pick up the pieces first, there’s a good man. A few hours won’t make much difference in the ineffable plan, I don’t suppose.