realityshifted | ✘ o9 ;;

Entry tags:

red vs blue (d1) york

✘ o9 ;;

[ if there's one person that has something of a habit of making grand entrances to the plane, it's this guy. first, it was hitting the ground running from an angry orange alien, and this time, he'll just be rolling in on a desk chair at a pretty high velocity, probably close to toppling ass over teacup the moment he loses any semblance of his balance, and it will be just one more instance of falling on his ass in this place that he can add to the list.

at least he's in his armor. that oughta soften the blow a little.

and anything is better than floating around in space after having nearly been blown the fuck up just because someone had neglected to tell him that the director had his own course of action should he not be able to take care of a little security bypass. that hadn't been giving him any trouble. at all. thank you, delta.

who is, of course, already bombarding him with questions in the back of his mind, and could somebody get york an aspirin, or something? he feels one hell of a headache coming on.

his chair slowly rolls to a stop, and he slumps over, elbows braced on his knees as he silently takes stock of himself. nothing hurts, his armor is intact, there's an annoying buzzing inside his head that is still finding ways to explain why it hadn't felt the need to let a certain somebody in on the fact that the director had a giant fucking laser pointed at his location for the entire duration of his mission … eh, par for the course. ]

Agent York, are you listening?

Tryin' not to, D … haven't quite worked on tunin' you out yet. Gimme a bit, and I'll have it down pat.

[ oi. ]

( ooc: this would be york's canon bump! which means he now has a certain cockbite of an ai with him, and we pre-emptively apologize for him. in entirety. )

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[To start a little bit of trouble~]

Not quite. The amount of clothing I was wearing was irrelevant, actually. The size of my breasts increased without warning. It was incredibly inconvenient.

[Doot doot~ She is not sorry, York. Good luck.]

[ of course to start a little bit of trouble. asdklh you.

she's talking, and york's jaw is practically dropped through the floor, and delta … delta is just going right along with everything like it's no big deal at all. it isn't, for him, he supposes, jesus. ]

What was the purpose of such an experiment?

I never figured it out. Maybe it was to see how much they could agitate me, but if that's what they were trying, you'd think they would have kept changing their size, or doing other things to me. It ended when Christopher brought me some pills, which also appeared to be completely unrelated.

[That part still bothers her - the inconsistency of it, anyway. djfakl wtf, Astral Plane. Seriously.

But she sees that York's jaw is dropped, and she doesn't even bother hiding her smirk.]

Problem?

It seems rather pointless to me for such an experiment to take place, and not have any sort of recognizable resolution.

[ YES THANK YOU DELTA. JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT WORSE AND YOU KNOW IT.

meanwhile, york tries to pick his jaw up off the floor, put it back where it belongs and act like nothing at all is troubling him. ]

Me? Problem? 'Course not.

[ :| ]

I agree. Unfortunately, unless I can find the being responsible, I'll just have to figure it out myself. [Beat.] Except, I have more pressing things to do.

[Poor, poor York. ♥ She reaches over and pats him on the head.]

[ and before delta can open his coded-and-meddling mouth, york reaches up and grabs for the hand patting his head, looking up at her with a nearly desperate expression. ]

… Please stop talkin' to him. The next time we're on our own I'm gonna have to pull him just so he doesn't ask me questions about your experiments.

[ plural.

because.

y'know.

boobs. ]

I don't want him thinkin' about those.

[ that last part is practically whispered.

because conspiracy!! ]

[Yes. Boobs. she knows. Plural. Very plural, she remembers, because they were very large and in her goddamn way ugh.

She blinks, caught a little off-guard by the sudden desperation and emphasis...

... but then, she's smirking, and she shrugs her shoulders. She leaves her hand in his, rests the other on her hip.]

He seems too analytical to be anything to worry about. But okay. We won't talk about that anymore.

[They'll find other things to talk about, she's sure.]

[ he's sorry, okay? kinda. but that had also been how he'd met you for the first time and if that particular instance is rather firmly planted in his memory, he dares you to blame him.

he squints at her a bit, just because when she sounds like that, she ends up either plotting something or unintentionally saying something else that makes his life difficult. and while he'll never trade her for anything in the world, woman, good grief. ]

Thank you. … You're already thinkin' of somethin' else to talk about, aren't you?

[ he knows you.

meanwhile – ] Agent York, I must insist that I hold no interest in the female anatomy, much less that of what appears to be your … significant other.

[ beat. ]

I am sure you will think of her at a later time and I will have all the information I could ever need.

Delta – !!

[ FOR THE LOVE OF ACTUAL FUCK YOU LITTLE GREEN PIECE OF SHIT ASDLKHG ]

[Don't be sorry. It's not your fault she was suddenly cursed with melons for a time.

She sees that squint, just gives gives him her sly little smile in return. ( though... she'll never trade you for anything in the world, either. Just don't expect her to admit that in so many words.) And she's very nearly about to tell him that he's damn right, she's got a million other things she'd like to talk to Delta about, when the aforementioned AI chimes in with.

That.

And.

Wow.

Jacqli is caught completely off-guard, just long enough to stare. Wide-eyed. Absolutely speechless. She doesn't even have any witty remarks or saves, she's so flustered!

.... And then, suddenly, she laughs!

Real, honest laughter - so hard that her shoulders are shaking and she doubles over, removing her hand from his grip just so she can wrap both of her arms around her stomach.

Congrats, York. You are the first person to make her laugh. Ever. ♥]

[ they must have been honeydews. because honey can he –

stopping right there. ~~because i can't stop laughing long enough to let that go any further, anyway.~~

york is about two seconds away from trying to figure out if he can pull delta himself and just toss him into a containment unit here on the plane, even though there is no containment unit to be found, it doesn't matter as long as he goes away asdlkhg when.

what

is going on

jacqli is laughing.

he stares at her for a second, still feeling the redness in his cheeks from being simultaneously embarrassed and irritated that his little ai friend is continuously throwing him under the bus. ] … You okay, there?

[ he is so confused. ]

[She belatedly realizes that this might be a rather shocking display, given her penchant for being painfully unreadable whenever possible or at least ~disinterested~ and ~aloof~ if not. But she nods, which is as much of an answer as she can manage for right now. Wow, her sides hurt. Is this what laughter does? Who knew!

It takes her a moment to calm down enough that she can breathe, let alone speak. So after a deep breath, and another small chuckle, she finally finds it in her to use her words.]

Of course I am. [A beat.. and a smile.] Your AI is pretty clever. You'll probably work well together.

[He's as advanced as the most elite viruses she ever made, at least, if also vastly different. It's... interesting. She's curious, and she'll probably ask later - when York's not worrying so much over things, of course. For now... Meh. She'll leave it be.]

[ laughter only makes your sides hurt when you don't do it enough, or you overdo it … which is what you seem to be doing. good lord, woman, get a hold of yourself!

… but he has to admit, it's good to see this side of her. to know that she's capable of more than just a light chuckle here and there. laughter looks good on her. maybe you should think about doing it a bit more often, hm?

he might still be a little confused, but he lets it go in favor of giving a tiny little eyeroll at her calling delta clever. ] If he's clever, he learned it from me. So far I've only seen him capable of being a traitorous little cockbite.

[ to which delta immediately interjects with – ] Betrayal is not in my programming, Agent York. I was only executing a command as I was instructed.

And it landed me in space, Judas!

[ and here we go again. ]

[Little bit of both, honestly. Jacqli doesn't laugh, ever - and this is more than she's laughed in... probably centuries. Eheh...

And maybe she will think about doing it more often, if he thinks about making it happen more often. If anyone could do it, it's probably him.]

Betrayal hardly needs to be programmed. It's usually a side effect of thinking things through in whatever particular way it happens. [Beat.] Which means it wasn't his intention, at least. Though the sooner you can get out of space, the better.

[Where is her popcorn? This has all the promise of a fun show.]

[ more than she's laughed in centuries, huh? well, he'll consider that a nice little accomplishment. even if it's at his own expense. and he kind of wants to throttle something that doesn't have a corporeal form.

maybe he can figure out a way to scramble delta's coding a little. that could prove interesting …

he gives jacqli a bit of a side-eye at that comment. ] Are you defendin' him?

[ girlfriend. y. y u betray him like that.

but then … ] Of course it was not my intention. I have been trying to explain that to him since it happened. He will not believe me.

[ because he's butthurt about it, you dick. ]

[omg York stop accusing people of betraying you the world is not out to get you, geez... so paranoid... ~~lolol she's snickering on the inside~~]

I'm not defending anyone. All I said was that you don't have to program betrayal.

[Shrug~~]

You two are going to get along well. I'm calling it now.

[ hey, he's the one questioning what's going on in the project, you know. it's in his nature to question. and maybe be a little bit paranoid.

he makes a face at her, squinting just enough to show that he doesn't really believe her, and then he's letting it go with a dismissive wave of a hand. bah, so what if his lady and his stupid ai are conspiring against him … maybe this will end up being interesting. ]

Oh, yeah, sure … when pigs fly. [ oink oink, flap flap. :| ]

[Point! She would be proud of you for using your brain, you know. ♥]

How do you know that in my world, they don't?

[trolololol...]

[ that means he deserves a cookie, right. he likes cookies.

… woman don't you even start with him. ]

Do they?

[ you little absolute bullshitter, you. ]

[She'll bring you a funbun. Will that work well enough?]

No, of course not.

[She catches the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth. She's trying so hard not to crack a smile!]

[ maybe.

he'll have to sample it first.

he'll get back to you.

meanwhile – squiiiiiiiint!!! ]

Have I told you lately how full of it you are? Because you. Are. Full of it.

[Of course you'll like it. Just don't get too attached, the really good, authentic ones are rare. Much to her dismay.]

I could say the same for you, you know.

[ of course the good ones are rare. that's pretty much the story of his life. ]

I'm pretty sure you have, if not recently.

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✘ o9 ;;

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