Post the First!

[inhumanity]

[What appears on the Plane is an unnatural humanoid. He has red scelera, white irises, and a mouth full of sharpened teeth. Together with the 1700s clothes, the features make him look like a vampire of legend.]

[The man opens his arms up to the Plane.]

The openness of of the sky! The greatest of all Mother Nature's states! The bounty of light and life and energy and the endless dark—such dichotomy! Such scope! Such falseness. What's this? Why is there a ground beneath my feet? And why do I glow? I know I am altogether radiant in personality, but even so, that doesn't seem very natural, does it? And if you wish to imitate space, then why stick a forest in the middle of it? That may also be natural, but it isn't naturally here.

There's only one possible reason: you don't wish to imitate space. You are making a mockery of it. I won't stand for it, no, not for an instant. How dare you? How dare you try to put the majesty of the natural world into a 'machine' to insult it? And the scale of it! An insult to nature is an insult to yourself! This is unforgivable! I shall say unkind things about you at your wedding!

[He spins around, and the indignation transforms into a smile full of teeth. It might be a friendly expression. The voice sounds friendly.] Unless this is your defiance against the natural universe. That I can admire. Congratulations, sir or madame, on the indomitability of your soul.

[A pause and a tilt of the head.] I would like to know where I am. [He almost sounds normal now, even if he is apparently talking to space without hesitation. At the least, his tone is less theatrical.] This wouldn't be an experiment, would it? I had thought we were done with all that.

Comments

[lamb_of_gold]

[What in the actual fuck was that.]

[inhumanity]

[That was Christopher don't be rude!!! And he noticed you staring. Christopher turns on him and instantly starts off again.] Your hair. Was it always like that? Do you defy your origins by dyeing your roots or are your roots naturally unnatural? And do you have anything to do with this? Dear Meredith was not at all forthcoming and far too quick.

[lamb_of_gold]

[You know that emote of the person leaning waaaaaaaaaaay back from their desk? Yeah Mu is sort of doing that, very subtly.]

I...beg your pardon? My hair is as it always was, and I'm afraid you'll get little more out of Meredith.

[inhumanity]

You didn't answer my third question! [He practically sings it--and then reaches out to poke at the dots on Mu's forehead. So the leaning back isn't a bad idea.] Are these a mark of your creator?

[lamb_of_gold]

[Mu dodges backward with an inhuman speed, swatting away the hand about as gently as he can manage without ripping the stranger's arm out of his socket.]

Do not touch those. They are a mark of my heritage.

[enduringwinter]

[a little distance away is a red haired man, who had been reading a book while walking towards some secluded area of the Plane or another but was now cringing at the theatrics of this new person. Goddess Martel, was it a requirement that all worlds contain some... some... Ridiculous spirit or another?

Richter marks his place in his book before looking up]

'Unkind things about you at your wedding?'

[because of all the ridiculous things in the world, what? What?]

[inhumanity]

[Christopher bounds over and peers at Richter very closely. Then he breaks into one of his terrible smiles.] It is the happiest day of any man or woman's life. The perfect revenge. And white stains so nicely. But why are you reading when there are such wonders around you? You should put that book away and appreciate where you are.

[enduringwinter]

[and Richter just casually leans back and away. Personal space plz] .... Right.

[and he unceremoniously turns away, preparing to leave] You must be new here, if this is your reaction to this place.

[inhumanity]

Oh, I am. Is it your experiment?

[Leaving doesn't work on Christopher. He follows.]

[enduringwinter]

No. If it was, I wouldn't be here to contaminate the results.

[he stops, then turns back to the man tailing him] Don't you have something better to do?

[onehundredbeers]

[Whoa hey a loud energetic guy. Nathan is lured in.

He skips to what he feels is the most pertinent of all those things that came tumbling out of that guy's mouth.]

Yeah, uh, you're in space. It turns out space has a floor.

[Nathan forever stands by this assessment.]

Which you noticed. But yeah. That- that is how... it works.

[inhumanity]

[Christopher sets himself over by Nathan because clearly Nathan will be helpful and forthcoming and also Christopher's new friend.] And yet I am left wondering why. Wait--no. I wouldn't question nature on it. Nature acts for its own sake. But this reeks of something altogether unnatural. Like--oil. [Which is a natural substance, Christopher.]

Quick! Tell me your name. We must become friends. I am Christopher Chareau de Red! [A bow with flourish.]

[onehundredbeers]

Nathan Explosion.

[He shoves his hands into his pockets.]

Yeah, there's a lot of bullshit science crap about this place. I try not to think about stuff too hard. [A beat.] Hey, uh, there's some brochures if you want 'em. Normally people kinda spawn near the kiosk, but you ended up in, what is known in scientific terms as, Buttfuck Nowhere.

Easier to fucking read than me standing here for a krillion minutes trying to remember important shit.

[inhumanity]

[Christopher laughs happily] What novel speech. I would appreciate that kindness a very great deal.

[onehundredbeers]

No problem, man. It's, uh- it should be over- over this way.

[He leads Christopher in what he is pretty sure is the direction of the Kiosk.]

Yeah, there it is. That. There's, uh, two brochures. I wrote one, Irving wrote one, mine is fucking old and a little out of date because I'm lazy as fuck and who the hell knows if Irving updated his.

But whatever, they're good enough.

[fallbythesword]

[Here's Jacqli. She was on her way to the onsen, but Goddess if this guy isn't attention-grabbing... She stops, long enough to listen to every single word of his little opening monologue. Verdict: she can't decide if he's interesting, or annoying. Well, maybe they're not mutually exclusive.]

Your praise of this machine seems pretty conditional.

[inhumanity]

[Hey. Hey you. Christopher's going to be getting closer to you.]

Why shouldn't it be? Has it given unconditional praise to me? I won't be part of a one-sided relationship with something that doesn't even respect flowers. If it wants my adoration, it needs to at the least make an effort to earn it, or I will ignore all its letters and return its tickets to Paris.

[fallbythesword]

[Closer is fine. To a point. Keep it up and she might push you or something, but she's chill with it for now. She does quirk an eyebrow at his peculiar word choices.]

It's given you a nexus, a point between many different worlds. It probably sees no reason to praise you when it's already given you that much. But, you didn't ask for that, and it didn't come for free either. So you still have a point.

[She likes playing Devil's Advocate... but she also likes playing both sides. ♥]

[inhumanity]

That's right! I never asked for this gift or this cost. I don't know what the cost is, but I never agreed to pay it! I demand a refund right this moment! And coffee, on the house!

[fallbythesword]

No-refund policy... but there's coffee in the kitchen. [slight smirk]

[sosweet]

[ Saga can't help but to scowl at the new arrival. And not only that: his red sclera makes his stomach feel disgusted. It reminded him of...

He will just lurk in the shadows for the moment. ]

[inhumanity]

[Christopher turns around and, abnormally quick, is standing before Saga.] You look sad. Shall I put a smile on your face?

[sosweet]

[ B| ] Who are you?

[inhumanity]

You want my name without telling me yours? That is poor manners. I don't think I can excuse it. In fact, I won't. I won't tell you anything until you apologize and introduce yourself.

[sosweet]

[ ... What? ] There is no need. I will not trouble you with my manners anymore. [ About to leave asdfghjkl. ]