Post the First!

[inhumanity]

[What appears on the Plane is an unnatural humanoid. He has red scelera, white irises, and a mouth full of sharpened teeth. Together with the 1700s clothes, the features make him look like a vampire of legend.]

[The man opens his arms up to the Plane.]

The openness of of the sky! The greatest of all Mother Nature's states! The bounty of light and life and energy and the endless dark—such dichotomy! Such scope! Such falseness. What's this? Why is there a ground beneath my feet? And why do I glow? I know I am altogether radiant in personality, but even so, that doesn't seem very natural, does it? And if you wish to imitate space, then why stick a forest in the middle of it? That may also be natural, but it isn't naturally here.

There's only one possible reason: you don't wish to imitate space. You are making a mockery of it. I won't stand for it, no, not for an instant. How dare you? How dare you try to put the majesty of the natural world into a 'machine' to insult it? And the scale of it! An insult to nature is an insult to yourself! This is unforgivable! I shall say unkind things about you at your wedding!

[He spins around, and the indignation transforms into a smile full of teeth. It might be a friendly expression. The voice sounds friendly.] Unless this is your defiance against the natural universe. That I can admire. Congratulations, sir or madame, on the indomitability of your soul.

[A pause and a tilt of the head.] I would like to know where I am. [He almost sounds normal now, even if he is apparently talking to space without hesitation. At the least, his tone is less theatrical.] This wouldn't be an experiment, would it? I had thought we were done with all that.

Comments

[lamb_of_gold]

[What in the actual fuck was that.]

[enduringwinter]

[a little distance away is a red haired man, who had been reading a book while walking towards some secluded area of the Plane or another but was now cringing at the theatrics of this new person. Goddess Martel, was it a requirement that all worlds contain some... some... Ridiculous spirit or another?

Richter marks his place in his book before looking up]

'Unkind things about you at your wedding?'

[because of all the ridiculous things in the world, what? What?]

[inhumanity]

[That was Christopher don't be rude!!! And he noticed you staring. Christopher turns on him and instantly starts off again.] Your hair. Was it always like that? Do you defy your origins by dyeing your roots or are your roots naturally unnatural? And do you have anything to do with this? Dear Meredith was not at all forthcoming and far too quick.

[lamb_of_gold]

[You know that emote of the person leaning waaaaaaaaaaay back from their desk? Yeah Mu is sort of doing that, very subtly.]

I...beg your pardon? My hair is as it always was, and I'm afraid you'll get little more out of Meredith.

[inhumanity]

[Christopher bounds over and peers at Richter very closely. Then he breaks into one of his terrible smiles.] It is the happiest day of any man or woman's life. The perfect revenge. And white stains so nicely. But why are you reading when there are such wonders around you? You should put that book away and appreciate where you are.

[inhumanity]

You didn't answer my third question! [He practically sings it--and then reaches out to poke at the dots on Mu's forehead. So the leaning back isn't a bad idea.] Are these a mark of your creator?

[lamb_of_gold]

[Mu dodges backward with an inhuman speed, swatting away the hand about as gently as he can manage without ripping the stranger's arm out of his socket.]

Do not touch those. They are a mark of my heritage.

[inhumanity]

[And Christopher bounds back into place, laughing.] Forgive me my trespasses. You see, I am altogether far too excited, and I confess that in my excitement, I can be a little too familiar. After all, you are my very first friend in space.

[lamb_of_gold]

[Oh for the love of. Mu takes a few breaths before composing himself, and standing back upright.]

I feel as though excitement may be an understat- come again?

[enduringwinter]

[and Richter just casually leans back and away. Personal space plz] .... Right.

[and he unceremoniously turns away, preparing to leave] You must be new here, if this is your reaction to this place.

[inhumanity]

My name is Christopher Chareau de Red. [He offers Mu his hand.] It is my immeasurable joy to meet you. Indeed, I would even say that my joy is at least twice my recent joy on seeing a flower blooming on the wall of a derelict apartment building.

[If it's immeasurable, why did you quantify it....]

[inhumanity]

Oh, I am. Is it your experiment?

[Leaving doesn't work on Christopher. He follows.]

[lamb_of_gold]

[Mu takes the hand with his usual, unassuming grip.] You may call me Mu. I'm afraid I understand neither your ah...'immeasurable joy,' nor your excitement.

[inhumanity]

Whyever not? Are you too not overcome with the pleasure of making a new friend? Oh, but not that way. While I am not completely certain of your gender, it is entirely ambiguous enough that I can be certain of my lack of attraction.

[enduringwinter]

No. If it was, I wouldn't be here to contaminate the results.

[he stops, then turns back to the man tailing him] Don't you have something better to do?

[lamb_of_gold]

[That gets an eyeroll out of him.] I am quite male, thank you. I'm unaccustomed to friendship being given so easily.

[inhumanity]

[Christopher looks overcome with compassion.] What a harsh and sorrowful life you must lead.

Not to worry! I will turn that straight around. You will share at least twenty of my eventual hundred friends with me!

[lamb_of_gold]

[OH HOLY FUCK NO.]

Quite the opposite. I am content with the friendships I have, and could ask for no better.

[inhumanity]

Yes, you sound like a scientist. [There may have been more tooth in that smile than the other one.]

[And Christopher is now happily spinning up to be beside Richter.] Something better than to accompany you? Certainly not! However could I decline your kind offer to show me around? And without me even asking! This speaks to an understanding between us that I may never have had with another being.

[inhumanity]

Then you'll share your friends with me to help me reach two hundred! [Watch that number grow.] Such kindness from my first alien friend. I almost weep.

[lamb_of_gold]

Alien?

I regret to inform you that most of my friends cannot access this place. [And if they could, he doesn't hate them THAT much.]

[inhumanity]

[don't be rude Mu]

Oh, how sad. Still, there's the rest.

[onehundredbeers]

[Whoa hey a loud energetic guy. Nathan is lured in.

He skips to what he feels is the most pertinent of all those things that came tumbling out of that guy's mouth.]

Yeah, uh, you're in space. It turns out space has a floor.

[Nathan forever stands by this assessment.]

Which you noticed. But yeah. That- that is how... it works.

[enduringwinter]

[....] How astute of you.

[.......

wait.

no, seriously, wait what WHAT?]

What?

[precisely]

[lamb_of_gold]

I don't think it will be so hard to find them on your own.