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[so_sweet]

[It's been a year...

It's been a year since he first came to the Plane. What he feels about it? Sometimes it's like a haze inside his head and all over his Cosmo.

Sometimes, wishes he could hate this place, and others but even less, a part of himself can't help but to be grateful for. Feelings that are still hard to accept... and having them meant weakness. His own Cosmo betrays him at times and he's so sick of it...

Neither sad or angry, Saga lies next to the stream as he gazes at the leaves stirring slenderly with the wind at times. His motionless, emerald eyes piercing tenderly at the sole view.

That is the Gemini Saint, graceful even at ease.]


[ooc: Backdated to the 20th x3;;]

Comments

[so_sweet]

[Not everything huh?] What about... feelings you should not have? [Because, you know, he's very new at it.]

[uccellodifuoco]

[He stares.]

Who says you shouldn't have them?

[so_sweet]

It is useless. You are exposed to weakness. [Says the one whose heart is a huge mess.]

[uccellodifuoco]

Feelings aren't a weakness. I learned that long time ago. They can be a weakness but only if you see them as such, otherwise they can be the source of your strength and be what will call others to you to fight along your side.

I casted away my feelings once, everything but hate and anger. I've never been as weak as I was back then.

[By the way, he hates you for making him say those things. Seiya or any of the others would be more suited for this kind of speeches.]

[so_sweet]

[Haters to the left? Heh, he‘s used to the hate so, no hard feelings at all.

“... as weak as I was back then...“ Those last words are causing a conflict inside of him. Does he feel strong enough to have them as of now?

He dares to ask Ikki one more thing and maybe a punch to the face is a go. Why Saga seems slightly emotional for a brief moment is somehow unknown.]

Have you... loved someone before?

[uccellodifuoco]

[Goes to the right, hey this is my left ok?

He feels stronger than back then and he realizes that giving up to hate and anger only made him weaker than before he became a Saint. No wonder he was defeated, he didn't become stronger than ever until he returned to his old self. Ever since, he has only grown stronger each day.

Ikki glares at Saga. And for a good long moment it may seem as if he's going to indeed punch him. He even uncrosses his arms and clenches his fist several times as he glares... But, no matter what Saga caused, he can kind of understand what's left after healing from such a wound in his own soul. Even if their wounds weren't the same, even if one got lost in devotion and the other in hate. He sighs.]

I have. I do.

[Ask whom and he will punch you. And claim that it's his brother. Hey, brother love counts, right?]

[so_sweet]

[okay okay xD

Saga eyes him boldly for a moment as the reaction of the Phoenix becomes apparent, then looks down silently. He expected it... it was imminent, but seems that Ikki (and Kanon) understands him better than anyone. Of all Saints, Ikki is the one he can dare to keep up a conversation like this. It is certainly different from the ones he has with Oliver. Different points of view.

No. He won't ask because it is private and doesn't make any difference. And Saga knows Ikki would give his own life for his brother and his comrades. That is unquestionable...

... But...]

It hurts, doesn't it? [Okay. Now punch him.]

[uccellodifuoco]

[Definitively. This time there's not even a moment of consideration, his fist directed to the other's gut, of course, being a Gold Saint Saga may be able to avoid it. But at any rate the message will be delivered.]

Yes, exactly like a punch.

[It's a valid answer, if the other bothers to think about it.]

[angeoudemon]

[Indeed, he could have avoided it. But Saga's to blame, even if he didn't mean to piss Ikki off. He's definitely to blame for this, so welcomes it on purpose.

The Saint writhes with eyes shut and lets out an almost contained sound, placing a hand on his stomach in response. Ikki was right... The intensity of his fist expressed all his frustration, all his ache.

Even so, Saga couldn't help but chuckle weakly.]

[uccellodifuoco]

[Ikki just gives him a side-eyed look.]

Better?

[so_sweet]

[Saga straightens despite the pain isn't gone yet, now laughing amusingly.]

[uccellodifuoco]

I'll take that as a yes. Or you have gone definitively mad now.

[angeoudemon]

[He stops laughing and squints at him. Low voice and filled with sentiment.]

You really loved her.

[uccellodifuoco]

[You want another punch?]

I still do.

[He will never forget her and the wound in his heart will never heal. It will keep aching and bleeding, kept alive by his own flames.

Ikki... Let the phoenix flap its wings... Okay?

For as long as he was the Phoenix Saint. He wouldn't forget.]

[angeoudemon]

[N-No. He‘s had enough.] [He eyes him briefly before looking away.]

There are times when I deny what I feel.

[Despite what Ikki told him... his sense of duty vs emotions create a conflict in his mind.]

A lady. A Queen... from Camelot. Maybe you will meet her on the Plane.

[Why is he telling you this?] ... She‘s... beautiful and fascinating.

[uccellodifuoco]

She must be, for having caught your attention that way.

[He doesn't need to know Saga closely to be able to tell that.]

[angeoudemon]

[Saga blinks and gives Ikki a faint smile. You know? You aren't as bad as you think.]

We are fools and not made of stone after all.

[uccellodifuoco]

[Say that outloud and you will get another punch.]

I thought that was the point of being Saints. We fight against the Gods to keep intact a world that has forgot them and destroys itself despite being mere humans.

[Yeah, that kind of fits the "fools not made of stone" deal.]

[sosweet]

[asdfghjkl] [Stares at him for quite a long time.] I am a human who claimed to be a God and tried to destroy it once. [Indirectly, but he gets the point.]

[uccellodifuoco]

[You were just crazy. Ikki smirks though.]

We defeated you anyway, precisely because of that.

[If Saga hadn't done those things they wouldn't have had to fight him and he wouldn't have had to die. However... Ikki pauses and gets serious.]

You died back then, killing yourself rather than hurting Athena. You returned from the death, tainted your honor and memory further all for the sake of helping Athena at the cost of being considered a traitor by everyone else, and died once more while trying to use what little time you had to support Athena and fight Hades. Then you returned in just your soul to help the other Gold Saints to create a hole in the Wailing Wall sacrificing yourself once more. I would think that even if you ever needed to do it, you have already done enough to repent for what happened.

[Said the guy who still won't forget or let go his own sins and failures. It's always easier to just tell others to do it rather than do it himself.]

[sosweet]

[Actually, just obssessed with being #1.] [Being reminded of all the things he‘s done is never easy and hard to assimilate even after so long. Old ghosts never fade, right Ikki?

But... it was more than that...]

It‘s been a year since I came to this place, and my own perspective of things has changed. Sometimes I think this is just an illusion, or a dream, that I‘ll wake up just to find my way to Yomotsu once more.

I... I‘ve never experienced certain feelings since I‘ve spent my whole life denying my humanity and accepting my own death.

[A sigh. A heavy one.]

Living is harder than dying.

[uccellodifuoco]

[At least Ikki didn't list the things he did before he killed himself to save Athena.]

You don't have to tell me that.

[He's the phoenix. He knows his own deal regarding life and death.]

But Athena brought you back to live, so you'll have to endure it and wait until your next death.

[Ikki has the best way to comfort someone.]

[sosweet]

[A different comfort coming from him would be awkward.] [He‘s accepted the awaiting for death for so long it became a tendency.

But now... he doesn‘t want to die. Despite the promise he made to Athena, the nightmares, the live-on with his past behind... the heartache.

For the first time... Saga is afraid of dying.]

Hm. I know. A Saint‘s destiny, that is.

[uccellodifuoco]

[Then he should say that and not complain about how hard is to be alive.]

No. A living being's destiny. Everything dies eventually, we're no different from animals or plants or normal people in that aspect.

[sosweet]

[It takes a long way to admit certain things. Maybe one day...

A Shaka sort of speech. But a valid one. A true one.

A chuckle.]

And we‘ll meet again in the afterlife. As every human being does. [If it means to defeat a God or if they grow older which is almost impossible.]