twenty-second pact ❖ {in uthanera}

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil isn't even sure where to begin. His monsters are practically afraid of him, and he... Did he really say those things? Did he really do those things? He must have, because he's pretty sure he died again.

He needs to make sure everyone is okay. Eventually he finds himself in Ammy's forest-- or what's left of it. A weathered oak tree invites him to sit against it; he unbuckles his sword and leaves it a few feet away. He feels so small in comparison, like a lost child seeking shelter in the gnarled arms of an old woman.

Emil draws his knees to his chest and huddles like this for a while. He should find his friends, but it's all he can do not to give up right here.]

[ooc: He's back to normal. ):]

Comments

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[He tries to keep it in. Lord, he tries-- but then he's leaning into his friend, fingers clutching desperately at his tunic.]

I'm a murderer. [He sucks in a breath that sounds more like a sob.] They didn't do anything and I killed them!

[lamb_of_gold]

[At the sob, Mu pulls Emil in a little closer. He doesn't say anything right away though - it's best to let Emil cry himself out, if he has to.]

[pactum.livejournal.com]

I-I'm a monster. These things just keep happening... because I'm a monster. [He buries his face in Mu's shoulder.] What kind of sick bastard kills someone who looks just like him? He was-- [Definitely a sob.] -- he was just trying to stop me!

He said... he said I didn't have to do this... he said...

[The rest disappears into incoherency.]

[lamb_of_gold]

[Mu lets Emil cry as long as he has to, patting the blond head in a manner he hopes is comforting - he's still not very good at this, he realizes - and only when the incoherent babbling quiets a bit does he talk.]

It may be of little comfort, but you are not entirely at fault. This Place was up to it's usual and very dangerous tricks again. I cannot comment as to what you did or did not do under it's influence, but it was under influece. Your thoughts and actions were not your own.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

But it felt so real. The things I said... they felt like they were true.

[He sucks in a ragged breath, then pulls back a little, wiping furiously at his cheeks as he tries to calm himself. It's not working too well.]

I shouldn't be asking about who I am. I should be asking what.

[lamb_of_gold]

No more tears now. Take a deep breath and try to relax, yes?

[There's a curious and compelling quality to his voice as he says that, though it's gone as he continues.]

I've heard that whatever caused it - a sweet of somesort - changed the victims into whatever they most feared. It may have been real and true for what you became, but whatever it was wasn't you.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil doesn't resist too much. He doesn't even notice what Mu is doing until his shoulders slump, tears halting.]

Whatever they most fear...

[A monster, thinking of himself only, promise forgotten, only power. Hurting everything he loves...]

That was it. What I was. [He dries his cheeks on his arms and looks a tad more determined than before.] Y-you're right. There's no way I'd let myself turn into that.

[lamb_of_gold]

You see? That look suits you much better.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[He sniffles a little, then tries to smile through it.]

Thanks. You're always... so patient with me, even when I'm like this.

I'm really lucky.

[lamb_of_gold]

Ah now. I find it difficult to be impatient with a friend.