great minds against themselves conspire

[collector]

[Sometimes, it won't all stay locked away. Sometimes the seal can't take the pressure. Sometimes the maze won't keep the monster in. Sometimes the jar cracks apart and all the evils come pouring out into the universe.

Sometimes, you just can't hide the pain you're in.

And Irving Braxiatel can't, though he tries to make it to the forest before he cracks, because that pain is written all over him. Oh, his clothing is as immaculate as ever, his skin is unblemished, not a single hair is out of place. But his bones are all jagged angles, his muscles constricted, and his mouth is sealed tight to try to contain any expression suffering.

Braxiatel covers his face with his hands, presses at his head with his fingertips. He staggers in his walk—sinks to his knees, shaking. His mouth opens—not to scream, but to soundlessly recite ancient equations, one last incantation against something terrible and old. Because if he holds on just a little longer, he can overcome this, he can take back control, he can draw it all in. If he holds it together just a little longer, he can win.]

[And then Braxiatel goes perfectly still. He closes his mouth and, slowly, draws his hands away from his face. He gets one foot out from under him, pulls himself up, stands for a moment in silence. Then he straightens out his suit and looks himself over without a reflection. Braxiatel sighs a breath of relief, for victory and for hard-won control. Slow, steady, his eyes rake over the Plane. No monsters drawn by his faltering. Good.]

Well. That was more trouble than it ought to have been, wasn't it? I'll have to get something for these migraines.

Comments

[oliverplus]

[Oliver has ventured out into the world, desperate to help someone--anyone he can find. and he spots Brax. on the ground]

Irving! [runs over to him as Brax is getting up, his expression full of concern] What's wrong? Are you okay?

[collector]

[Braxiatel smiles at Oliver, a smooth and easy smile. His fingers curl in towards his palms, but not into a fist. Just a grasping gesture.]

Oh, yes. Just a migraine. Should you be out here? It's a dangerous place.

[oliverplus]

I know, but I can't help anybody inside! I... [there's a twitch--a catch to his expression and his voice. just the smallest hint of the new feelings working their way into his heart and mind] I've been useless. I won't let this place make me useless!

[collector]

[kindly] Oh, Oliver. You can't help what you are. No one blames you for being unable to do any good.

[oliverplus]

[snaps] Shut up! I won't let you break, do you hear me!? You aren't going to die, Irving!

[collector]

[Braxiatel laughs at that] I won't be dying. Death takes up so much time, and I'm otherwise occupied. Now, why don't we step into the forest? I'd hate for a monster to come our way just now. You wouldn't be able to defend yourself.

[oliverplus]

You're the one who's bleeding!

I don't care about that. I'll defend you! [but he follows him into the forest, looking around for monsters]

[collector]

Am I? [He glances over himself briefly, but as he seems to be in tiptop condition, he brushes the thought of way] Hallucinations have been going around, Oliver. You shouldn't trust what you see.

[oliverplus]

No. [shakes his head and, oddly, starts to smile] I'm seeing the real you. You know I am. And you're falling to pieces.

You need someone to fix it.

[collector]

[Braxiatel looks at Oliver with lifted eyebrows] I hope you aren't going to suggest that what I really need, right now, is a Doctor.

[oliverplus]

[laughs] Like he ever really fixes anything.

No. I'll find a way. I've just gotta figure out how. What's changed? Why did seeing things put the pieces together? I'll make it happen again.

[collector]

Hm? Oh, you mean when I saw Skutloid, I suppose. Heavens, but we are getting a bit heavy on the metaphor lately, aren't we?

[Braxiatel walks further into the woods.] You realize, of course, that just presently, you aren't in control of your own mind.

[oliverplus]

Yeah, then! The cracks disappeared. And after, it got worse. You cried. But it's even worse now. I've gotta do something, gotta find a way--

[but his gaze snaps to Braxiatel at that, and he hurries after him] What!? I don't know what you're talking about!

[collector]

[with a wave of his hand] I mean you're clearly not all you usually are. Your behaviour is . . . not as it always is. And the difference is apparent. [with a slight laugh] I mean, you usually try for a little more subtlety in this sort of thing, don't you? It's hardly this desperately obvious.

[oliverplus]

I haven't done anything to help for weeks! Of course I'm desperate.

Or... [pauses, but it's not out of fear or any of the expected emotions. in fact, his expression turns curious--with a hint of a smile tugging at his lips] You think I'm finally going mad.

[collector]

Clearly you think I think so. Go on. Enlighten me.

[oliverplus]

You know about the Puppeteer. It's just been a matter of time--or it was a matter of time. Maybe I am mad. [laughs] You know, I think it'd be a relief. I wouldn't have to be afraid of it anymore if it'd happened.

But has it? Or is it you, Irving? Do you think someone has to be mad to want to help you?

Why are you shattering?

[collector]

I think someone has to be a little skewed of perspective to think I need help, yes. And a little off in their game to assume automatically that their . . . distortions come from within. The Plane has been having quite a lot of fun twisting things and people of late.

[And still he walks deeper into the woods.]

[oliverplus]

[follows him, eager--even slightly amused. snorts at that] You're in pain and bleeding and shattering, and you don't think you need help! Whose perspective is skewed?

So what do you think it is, then? If it's your true self, how could it be anything that isn't from within?

[collector]

How can you be certain it's anyone's true self? Just think of how easy it would be to twist people's perceptions of each other with something like this. Make their 'true self' a little different from what they are, close enough to be comprehended but wrong enough to change things. Show someone with blood on their hands and, regardless of the truth, you'll have seeded doubt.

[oliverplus]

[snaps] Don't even start! Some things are the truth, sometimes. I refuse to doubt everything.

And Sawako saw me. It's very real. Every bit of it. [his expression darkens] Your locks and your mask and the breaking. You need help, Irving.

[collector]

[They're far enough in, now. Braxiatel stops. Quietly,] And how do you intend to do that?

[oliverplus]

[angrily, frustrated] I'll find a way! I have to!

[collector]

I think, Oliver, you'd feel much better if you just let it go.

[oliverplus]

[shakes his head] No. Ohhh, no. I have to help people, Irving! I can't just sit back in the library and...and hope things fix themselves. I will do something about this! All of it!

And I'm gonna start by finding a way to help you, whether you want me to or not.