great minds against themselves conspire

[collector]

[Sometimes, it won't all stay locked away. Sometimes the seal can't take the pressure. Sometimes the maze won't keep the monster in. Sometimes the jar cracks apart and all the evils come pouring out into the universe.

Sometimes, you just can't hide the pain you're in.

And Irving Braxiatel can't, though he tries to make it to the forest before he cracks, because that pain is written all over him. Oh, his clothing is as immaculate as ever, his skin is unblemished, not a single hair is out of place. But his bones are all jagged angles, his muscles constricted, and his mouth is sealed tight to try to contain any expression suffering.

Braxiatel covers his face with his hands, presses at his head with his fingertips. He staggers in his walk—sinks to his knees, shaking. His mouth opens—not to scream, but to soundlessly recite ancient equations, one last incantation against something terrible and old. Because if he holds on just a little longer, he can overcome this, he can take back control, he can draw it all in. If he holds it together just a little longer, he can win.]

[And then Braxiatel goes perfectly still. He closes his mouth and, slowly, draws his hands away from his face. He gets one foot out from under him, pulls himself up, stands for a moment in silence. Then he straightens out his suit and looks himself over without a reflection. Braxiatel sighs a breath of relief, for victory and for hard-won control. Slow, steady, his eyes rake over the Plane. No monsters drawn by his faltering. Good.]

Well. That was more trouble than it ought to have been, wasn't it? I'll have to get something for these migraines.

Comments

[oliverplus]

[snaps] Don't even start! Some things are the truth, sometimes. I refuse to doubt everything.

And Sawako saw me. It's very real. Every bit of it. [his expression darkens] Your locks and your mask and the breaking. You need help, Irving.

[collector]

[They're far enough in, now. Braxiatel stops. Quietly,] And how do you intend to do that?

[oliverplus]

[angrily, frustrated] I'll find a way! I have to!

[collector]

I think, Oliver, you'd feel much better if you just let it go.

[oliverplus]

[shakes his head] No. Ohhh, no. I have to help people, Irving! I can't just sit back in the library and...and hope things fix themselves. I will do something about this! All of it!

And I'm gonna start by finding a way to help you, whether you want me to or not.

[collector]

Dear me. I had hoped it wouldn't come to this.

[Braxiatel looks Oliver in the eyes and starts speaking.] Listen to me, Oliver. Listen to me very carefully. You are not worried about me. You to not see me as masks and mirrors. You see me as I physically am: a normal humanoid, no cracks, no blood, no reflections. Not my 'true self' but the physical reality. And you trust that. You know that I am safe, and fine, and in control. You know I don't need any help. Any thoughts about my weaknesses or my fragility will simply . . . fade away as you think them. And when you wake, you will be put put at peace by the normalcy and calm I provide.

On three.

One . . .

Two . . .

Three.

[oliverplus]

[Oliver, still being very close to a regular human being, is pulled in immediately by the hypnotic effect and listens intently, locked on Brax's words. he blinks when Brax ends the count, then looks around briefly, confused. turns back to Brax]

Sorry... What were we talking about?

[collector]

You were telling me about what you learned from Nathan, Arthur, and Luke, weren't you?

[oliverplus]

Oh, yeah. [clearly he must have been. sighs] Or what I didn't learn. Well, maybe one thing--Damon can go home. And he hasn't made any choices--not that he knows of, at least. But I don't know how that helps. [begins to get riled again--but not like before. his attention is on a different subject, for one] I don't know how any of it does! I'm making a list, but what good is it doing?

[collector]

You mean he hasn't made any choices that he'll admit to.

[oliverplus]

Oh, don't even start, Irving! Not Damon. You can't think like Nathan does!

[collector]

I think that anyone can be bought, Oliver. Any one of us could be guilty. It's about principles, yes, and we all have something we value more than sparing people these past few weeks of being stuck here. Damon is a Gallifreyan.

[oliverplus]

No. Nonono, I won't think like that! We've gotta stop the people running the Plane. Not each other! I can't...no. I won't turn against the people here. I'm gonna help them.

[collector]

All of them? The murderers and the traitors as well?

[oliverplus]

[just looks at him. the peace from the hypnotism is wearing thin, the madness breaking through more and more] What, you think I can just draw some sort of line? [gives a short laugh] You know what I've done.

I'll protect them--from each other if I have to. [smiles, but there's something very wrong about it] From me if I have to.

[collector]

Oliver, you've gotten a little violent while under someone's control. You never even managed to kill anyone. It hardly constitutes a capitol crime.

[oliverplus]

It could do. [his lip twitches] I tried to. I could try again. I could actually do it one day.

But that's not the point, is it? I have to protect the people here. From anything. I'm not drawing any lines! There are enough enemies out there. We should be finding ways to fight them! Finding people to protect... [turns as he talks, starting off in a random direction, looking around him]

[collector]

[Oliver is, Braxiatel realizes, as exasperating as Jason at his worse.]

And what if we should be protecting our Hosts as well?

[oliverplus]

[thinks about that] We'd have to find them first. But they're probably safer than we are. Do you think they might be in danger?

[collector]

Don't tell me you missed the look on Ezra's face.

[oliverplus]

[frowns] He was afraid of his masters--of not doing their bidding right. Like Weber and the King. Wasn't he?

[collector]

[with amusement] Those two were adults. Ezra is a child. A child who was very likely a slave in his first life, I imagine.

[oliverplus]

So what do you mean?

[collector]

I mean there's a world of difference between being scared because your owners will hurt you if you get this wrong and being scared because you've never known any other way to be.

[oliverplus]

[nods] You want to rescue him, too.