❝Scalpel in hand, Dr. Jade heads out to dissect the monsters of Auldrant!❞

[clinical]

[There is only one way to get away from rappigs in Malkuth, and that one way is to get away from Malkuth. But as the flying ship doesn't belong to Jade, his landship is no longer an option, and trips on ferries are so last save file, Jade's quickest way out of Malkuth is to go to the Astral Plane.]

[So here he is, working in the library. His work is organized into three piles of books, with each pile of books accompanied by two piles of papers. The right-hand paper piles are of new notes, while the left-hand piles are old notes and files. And as to the books?]

[The first pile of books is dedicated to duplicates and replication. Books on cloning, books on fomicry, books on quantum teleportation and its ethical implications, books on parthenogenetic offspring and identical twins, books on gholas - it's a wide variety of subject matter and he hasn't limited himself to sources from his universe.]

[Similarly, the second pile of books focuses on energy consumption, gathering information on energy types that don't even exist in his world. From electricity to fonons to mana, if it's an energy source and if you can have problems getting enough of it, Jade has snatched up a book on the subject.]

[The final pile of books is on temporal manipulation and predestination. For once, there are no books from his home world. He already knows all that he needs to know about the Score. Jade has instead pulled up texts on temporal paradoxes, stable time loops, closed time-like curves, string theory, quantum theory and the many worlds hypothesis, and other adventures into screwing with history.]

[But dealing with three major world-changing issues is thirsty work, so Jade disappears back home to get himself something to drink. He returns, sets the drink down on his desk, and then stills and looks at the creature that managed to get in by rubbing against his leg. Jade's eyes narrow as he identifies which rappig it is.]

Saphir.

[Jade crouches down to look the rappig in the eye, smiling]

His Majesty will be upset if you follow people into interdimensional nexuses. Who knows what could happen to you? I would only be able to bring him back your dissected corpse. I've wondered for some time now what biological differences a pampered upbringing might make in a beast.

[There's something unnaturally sharp about the pen Jade is tapping on the table.]

His Majesty will cry so much. But I'm afraid there simply wasn't anything I could do to protect you from the cruel people who live here. I'll tell him you were drugged first. It's very likely that you didn't suffer. Much.

Comments

[superoptimistic.livejournal.com]

[That animal is cute! Really, really cute!]

[Even if she thinks the rappig is cute, it doesn't change the fact that Sawako's appearance usually scares children and small animals. Is Saphir immune? She crouches down to try to pet Saphir, while addressing Jade.]

Do - do you need any help with your work, sir?

[clinical]

[Saphir has learned to tolerate sociopaths, not nice Japanese girls. Saphir runs around to hide behind Jade, which . . . is a little frustrating for Jade, because if you're trying to scare someone into leaving you alone, it's not a success for them to see you as a protector.]

It would be a great help if you could help me get rid of this rappig. Do you like pork?

[superoptimistic.livejournal.com]

If - if I had to chose, I'd say I prefer beef. But Sanada-kun's family makes very good ramen that uses pork. Please, wait one minute.

[This person cannot work on an empty stomach.]

[so Sawako drops, and minutes later she returns with a bowl of miso ramen with pork in it. She offers it to Jade.]

It's best to work on a full stomach. Is there anything else I can do for you?

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

You could take him back to your reality for starters. And not bleeding dissect him for kicks

[VIVISECTION IS WRONG!!!!]

[clinical]

I would never dissect one of His Majesty's rappigs. Why, it might even upset him enough to make him curl up and die.

[brandyhabit.livejournal.com]

You seem far too happy about that possibility.

[swanseer.livejournal.com]

You are aware that lying is bad, correct?

[Hey, have a bored Juni - examining the pile with temporal paradoxes in a terribly fascinated way.

...Maybe she can trap Loss in one.]

[clinical]

Of course. That's why I always try to be honest and sincere in all of my interactions.

[swanseer.livejournal.com]

Will you be knocking it out then, or just gassing it? {Her eyebrow is raised, but she looks amused - ah, she does approve of dissecting things.]

[royallybitching.livejournal.com]

[Luke is bored and lonely so he's just going to sit down on a pile of sturdy books.] I thought you're supposed to be old. All this is going to strain your eyes.

[clinical]

Years of hard study have already ruined my sight, forcing me to wear glasses and hide my beautiful eyes.

[royallybitching.livejournal.com]

[Muttered.] Your eyes don't look hidden to me. [Louder.] So what the hell is all this for? And why do you have that thing? [He means Saphir.]

[youidiots.livejournal.com]

[OMG RAPPIG]

[youidiots.livejournal.com]

[I MEAN what what are you looking at]

[youidiots.livejournal.com]

[don't you have anything better to be doing you should be doing that]

[goes back to babysitting a longhaired whiner]

[clinical]

[Saphir has scented Tear before. Tear, Saphir is sniffing in your direction.]

[Jade is just amused]

[promisedsomeone.livejournal.com]

[Asch lingers at the edge of Jade's sight, however sharp it is. It takes him a few moments to collect himself and walk over, as unreadable and stoic as if he's attending a funeral.]

Jade.

[clinical]

[Jade acts like he doesn't notice the funeral face] Asch. Are you here for rappig stew?

[promisedsomeone.livejournal.com]

[Asch ignores that remark.]

I've decided.

[heartscastaside.livejournal.com]

{LMFAO JADE}

{I mean, the witch is amused.}

My, an experiment on something so unusual? Do you mind if I were to watch, good sir?

[clinical]

Not at all. Though rappigs are very common where I'm from.

[He may mean 'Auldrant' but he probably means 'the Malkuth Imperial Palace']

[heartscastaside.livejournal.com]

Rappigs? That is what these strange creatures are called?

{Caster drifts out of the shadows, her hood up, despite any icons I may use...}

I suppose the name is fitting. They aren't very attractive animals, though. What is their purpose in your world? Food?

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

You brought us fresh bacon. You shouldn't have~

[clinical]

You need to be careful cooking him. He's much more stringy than he looks.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

Oh, yuck. Think I'll pass.

[He glances over the titles of the book pile closest to him, and as usual, says the first thing that comes to his mind.]

Gonna clone yourself? Might be too much of a good thing.