realityshifted | ❝Scalpel in hand, Dr. Jade heads out to dissect the monsters of Auldrant!❞

[There is only one way to get away from rappigs in Malkuth, and that one way is to get away from Malkuth. But as the flying ship doesn't belong to Jade, his landship is no longer an option, and trips on ferries are so last save file, Jade's quickest way out of Malkuth is to go to the Astral Plane.]

[So here he is, working in the library. His work is organized into three piles of books, with each pile of books accompanied by two piles of papers. The right-hand paper piles are of new notes, while the left-hand piles are old notes and files. And as to the books?]

[The first pile of books is dedicated to duplicates and replication. Books on cloning, books on fomicry, books on quantum teleportation and its ethical implications, books on parthenogenetic offspring and identical twins, books on gholas - it's a wide variety of subject matter and he hasn't limited himself to sources from his universe.]

[Similarly, the second pile of books focuses on energy consumption, gathering information on energy types that don't even exist in his world. From electricity to fonons to mana, if it's an energy source and if you can have problems getting enough of it, Jade has snatched up a book on the subject.]

[The final pile of books is on temporal manipulation and predestination. For once, there are no books from his home world. He already knows all that he needs to know about the Score. Jade has instead pulled up texts on temporal paradoxes, stable time loops, closed time-like curves, string theory, quantum theory and the many worlds hypothesis, and other adventures into screwing with history.]

[But dealing with three major world-changing issues is thirsty work, so Jade disappears back home to get himself something to drink. He returns, sets the drink down on his desk, and then stills and looks at the creature that managed to get in by rubbing against his leg. Jade's eyes narrow as he identifies which rappig it is.]

Saphir.

[Jade crouches down to look the rappig in the eye, smiling]

His Majesty will be upset if you follow people into interdimensional nexuses. Who knows what could happen to you? I would only be able to bring him back your dissected corpse. I've wondered for some time now what biological differences a pampered upbringing might make in a beast.

[There's something unnaturally sharp about the pen Jade is tapping on the table.]

His Majesty will cry so much. But I'm afraid there simply wasn't anything I could do to protect you from the cruel people who live here. I'll tell him you were drugged first. It's very likely that you didn't suffer. Much.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[That animal is cute! Really, really cute!]

[Even if she thinks the rappig is cute, it doesn't change the fact that Sawako's appearance usually scares children and small animals. Is Saphir immune? She crouches down to try to pet Saphir, while addressing Jade.]

Do - do you need any help with your work, sir?

You could take him back to your reality for starters. And not bleeding dissect him for kicks

[VIVISECTION IS WRONG!!!!]

You are aware that lying is bad, correct?

[Hey, have a bored Juni - examining the pile with temporal paradoxes in a terribly fascinated way.

...Maybe she can trap Loss in one.]

[Saphir has learned to tolerate sociopaths, not nice Japanese girls. Saphir runs around to hide behind Jade, which . . . is a little frustrating for Jade, because if you're trying to scare someone into leaving you alone, it's not a success for them to see you as a protector.]

It would be a great help if you could help me get rid of this rappig. Do you like pork?

I would never dissect one of His Majesty's rappigs. Why, it might even upset him enough to make him curl up and die.

Of course. That's why I always try to be honest and sincere in all of my interactions.

You seem far too happy about that possibility.

Not at all. I love and respect my Emperor with all of my heart. [It's like he bleeds insincerity.]

If - if I had to chose, I'd say I prefer beef. But Sanada-kun's family makes very good ramen that uses pork. Please, wait one minute.

[This person cannot work on an empty stomach.]

[so Sawako drops, and minutes later she returns with a bowl of miso ramen with pork in it. She offers it to Jade.]

It's best to work on a full stomach. Is there anything else I can do for you?

[Ah, an idiot]

I don't like pork myself. Dead or alive. [SAPHIR, HE MEANS YOU] Why don't you take Saphir out to play with? It will be good for him to meet new people.

O-okay, I'll do my best!

[and she walks around Jade, trying to get Saphir]

Saphir-chan, would you like to play~

[and Saphir squeals and runs around to the other side of Jade to avoid having to be alone with this person]

[she just stares at him. The insincerity is almost painful]

And what a lucky emperor he must be. With friends like you...

[Jade sees this girl's appearance and immediately wants to introduce her to Tear.]

Oh, just keep chasing him. Saphir is a very skittish animal.

[Jade steps away to sit back in his chair, which makes him hard to hide behind.]

Will you be knocking it out then, or just gassing it? {Her eyebrow is raised, but she looks amused - ah, she does approve of dissecting things.]

With friends like me, who needs monsters like Saphir? Royalty tends to be prone to excesses.

Of course, [she freezes, turning to him and bowing a few times apologetically]

I did not ask your name. I'm sorry, very, very sorry! Please forgive me for being so forward.

[Saphir takes this opportunity to hide under the table]

I'm Kuronuma Sawako.

I'd call him far from a monster. [he's too cute to be a monster] Interesting reading, though. You know, there are quite a few people here who might be a bit put off by that one particular pile. [she motions towards his awful, terrible, no good changing history pile]

[Jade casually shoves Saphir out from under the table with his boot]

My name is Jade. It's nice to meet you.

Would they? And why is that?

[Saphir is rubbing against Jade's leg, which is annoying. Jade doesn't want Saphir's runny nose on his nice boots. So Jade plants a foot firmly on Saphir's back to keep him in place.]

Oh, I won't do anything to him. But I think an injection is most likely.

Well, you've got Time Lo-

Hey!

[Benny is horrified - horrified!!! - by this display. She shoves Jade's foot off and picks up Saphir]

[Jade is not put off-balance by this. Indeed, Jade just takes back his chair now that he doesn't have to concern himself with keeping the rappig in check.] You were saying?

Drugs, I like the way you think.

...I'm afraid that I'm not very fond of pork, though, I really couldn't help.

It's - it's very good to meet you too, Jade-sama.

[and the shove sends Saphir right into Sawako's shin. She looks down at Saphir as she smiles and bends down to pick him up.]

Sa~phir~chan~ Would you like to --

[but Saphir squeals again, retreating back to the relative safety of hiding under the table.]

Time Lords. Surely you must've tripped over one of them by now. There's more than enough of them loitering about this place.

[She's still glaring at Jade, even as she cuddles Saphir.]

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❝Scalpel in hand, Dr. Jade heads out to dissect the monsters of Auldrant!❞

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