❝Don't worry, the worst that could happen is we all die.❞

[clinical]

[Jade (in military uniform, thank you very much, as no one has made him dress up like an Abyss Ranger today) is leaning against the information kiosk. One must assume he read both pamphlets, as each is open in his free hand. The other hand has obviously found its customary home in his pocket.]

My, my, this will be a problem.

[Jade makes a careless gesture; a glowing circle of glyphs appears over his hand, and both brochures are instantly incinerated.]

I don't have a scalpel, and I've never heard of oolong tea.

Comments

[youidiots.livejournal.com]

[OHSHI---- it's a fonist. Military, judging from the uniform... PERFECT SOLDIER MODE, GO]

Please identify yourself.

[royallybitching.livejournal.com]

[Luke doesn't know what's going on BUT HE IS HUNGRY.]

It's not that big of a problem. At least you aren't starving.

[youidiots.livejournal.com]

[sweet lorelei on a bicycle luke]

You're the one who didn't want to eat lunch...

[clinical]

[It is a lot harder to come up with brilliant, witty, hilarious, and bastardy commentary when someone you know to be gone is right in front of you. This is the man who failed to bring back the dead.]

[But Jade did read the pamphlets. With Tear's comment, it's not hard to work it out. So it's time to make a quick decision]

Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces. Locrian Sergeant Tear Grants, Luke fon Fabre, you are both under arrest for illegally crossing the border into Malkuth territory.

[Yes. In times of stress, you do what comes naturally to you. And in Jade's case, that's messing with people.]

[immarcescible.livejournal.com]

Well, if it makes you feel better, um...sir, I've only recently heard of tea at all! So especially not oolong.

[immarcescible.livejournal.com]

{Jade, be nice to Guy}

My name is Noa! I'm new here too.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil saw that.

He just... /stares/. Because-- to be honest-- Tales games have sort of similar clothing designs, and Jade looks a LOT like someone from Tethe'alla, and besides that, Emil's mana-signature-thing is going haywire.]

A... half elf...?

[clinical]

[OPTIONS:
1) Deny this statement (because the truth will set you free)
2) Admit to this statement (because lies are fun)
3) Admit to this statement in a plausibly deniable way (because misleading things are even more fun than lies)

It is not difficult to predict Jade's strategy to this new and surprising event. Hands in his pockets, he looks at the tiny shonen.]

I hope that isn't a problem.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[TROLL

TROLL IN THE DUNGEON

AJK:LJALDLK:FJKLJKL:JSFJ:FZG.

Emil is, as usual, pretty fucking gullible.]

N-no! Not at all! [OH GOD here comes the nervous ramble] Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything. A couple of my friends are half-elves. It's just that I don't see them much, and definitely not on the Astral Plane, since I thought me and Marta were the only ones who could come here from our world. Not that that's a bad thing. Ah...

[flawless-genius.livejournal.com]

[Now that display caught Firesong's attention and pinged his senses a little. He's never a glyph like that before.] That's a rather interesting form of magic.

[clinical]

[Hey, it's someone as fabulous as Saphir! Now that's not something Jade ever thought he'd see.]

To someone from another world.

[Being reflexively wary of strangers is so tiring. Maybe he'll just lean back and chill instead.]

[flawless-genius.livejournal.com]

From the way you say that I take it that magic of that sort is fairly common in your world?

[lamb_of_gold]

[Always when I'm away for the night]

The tea, at least, I could help you with.

[clinical]

[You realize I'm conspiring against you, right?]

Ah, but I was encouraged to never to experiment with herbs from strangers.

[Or was it 'don't experiment on people with strange herbs'? Jade forgets.]

[lamb_of_gold]

Wise advice, but the offer remains.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

[Axel approaches Jade with a bit of a self-serving smile on his face.

And then his mouth drops open, and he stops where he is.]

Oh, geez. That's not a woman in uniform.

My day is officially ruined.

[clinical]

[As if years of Peony have not trained him for this!]

That's very rude. The uniform simply hides my assets.

[Peony never designs flattering outfits for Jade's figure! It's very sad.]

It's more obvious when I put up my hair.

[smolderingdark.livejournal.com]

Egg, meet face.

[Axel stares for a minute, then he just /LAUGHS/.]

Does that happen a lot?

[oliverplus]

Whoa, hey! You've got fire magic? [because clearly that's the most important part of what he just saw]

[clinical]

[Oliver, he will dissect you]

I made a pact with the aggregate sentience of the Fifth Fonon, Ifrit, for the power to use fire.

[oliverplus]

Ifrit, huh? Wow, that's cool! Can you do any other magic?

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

[Tamaki looks shocked and appalled. He also looks at Jade with EYES OF PITY]

You poor unfortunate soul. You've never heard of oolong tea.

[he contains himself so he doesn't start crying for you, Jade. He drops and then returns with a table stocked with: tea leaves, a pot with boiling water and cups, spoons, and sugar]

Never fear. I will initiate you into the glorious world of delicious teas!

[clinical]

Such kindness pouring out from your youthful heart touches me to my core. How can I ever make it up to you?

[hostclubdaddy.livejournal.com]

[Tamaki is clearly touched by Jade's words. He can't help but blush in response]

There's no reason for you to do anything for me. Just sharing your company is more than enough compensation.

Ah, but would you like me to make some oolong tea for you?