♥ watching you walk through that fire is a burden that i can't carry

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[It's Hell on the Astral Plane. In a disturbing and worsening pattern, Sirkka can be found wandering from place to place, never going inside a building... If one steps within ten yards of her they can feel it: something dark enough to be tangible, grief and despair so thick that it could make a lesser person fall to their knees.

She hasn't eaten. She hasn't slept. Quite possibly she doesn't need either. But none of that matters anymore. Her hair is a mess, tangled as it drifts carelessly about her shoulders. She can't keep her head up, so this timebomb waiting to go off just /might/ run into your character.

This is not a consequence.

This is an EMPATH.]

[ooc: Leave your AIM name/email or turn your messages on because STUFF AFFECTS YOUR DUDES BADLY, as are her powers... as always. Also feel free to back out of this once you find out. Really, it's fine.]

Comments

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

[Box walks around the Plane too. As he noticed the monsters has gone quiet so he might as well try and get some things done.]

[He sees Sirkka, and can tell she is a mess... So, moving on, yes, nothing to see there... Box is considering leaving her like that, because he never was the helping type, he was the one needing help. Always.]

Argh...

[He turns back after a few seconds of hesitation and heads toward Sirkka. She was always nice to him, he could at least ask how is she, and what happened, and... stuff.]

Sirkka?

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka doesn't notice Box immediately. When she does, she blinks a few times, as if just waking up.]

... Box...

[There's guilt written all over her face and she can't quite hide it in time.]

I'm... I'm sorry. There's something terribly wrong with me.

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

[Box purses his lips as he is eying Sirkka. Well, at least he knows that expression from first hand.]

Uuum... [Steps closer despite the complains of his stomach.] I... I don't think you have to apologize for something like that, I mean, uh, if, it's something you didn't do, then... I mean, it's alright, it's... alright. I mean not alright, not-- [Asdfg it's hard to talk somehow, Box feels heavy in his chest.] What's wrong...?

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

No... I did it. I... I lost it. I lost it completely. I tried to kill someone.

[She sinks where she is and just... tries to breathe. Breathing is important. The fog of despair seems to lift a little, but she's still hating on herself for it. Still guilty.]

I don't know why I did it. I just... I reached out, and just like that, I tore him apart. [She chokes back a sob.] He didn't even do anything. Oh, God.

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

[Box would snort out loud now, because someone talking about... well, murder like that must be some joke, but... Sirkka sounds and feels very serious about it. He follows her with his gaze. Kinda really just staring at her for a little.]

What... What do you mean? I'm sure you didn't... uh, tear apart anyone... You are not like that, Sirkka.

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka tugs at her hair. Tears are practically streaming down her face now. POOR BOX. She's just totally, totally losing it and omg crying women how does I comfort.]

I looked at his head and I made him relive his memories. I tore him apart. I made him blame himself. God, what is wrong with me?

[lamb_of_gold]

[This? This is not okay. This is very not okay. Mu recognizes Sirrka from the time they spoke, but he doesn't really know her. Still, he'd be 1) an asshole and 2) not doing his job if he didn't at least try and help.

So he battens down every psychic hatch he has, places himself between her and where she's going, bracing against the swirls of negativity around her and glad, for the upteenth time, that he's not an empath as well.]

Asking if you're alright would be rather foolish, I presume?

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka is aware of Mu being there, but only because she's about to run into him. She stops and looks at him with dead eyes, the rest of her in pain.

Here is someone who has no hope-- someone who doesn't even feel like killing themselves. She's not worth the effort. Nothing is anymore.]

It doesn't matter.

[lamb_of_gold]

I beg to differ...

[But something about her words just seems to ring true....still.]

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

I hurt someone. All I ever do is hurt people, as much as I want to help. [She tugs at her hair and looks up at him, desperate and sad and horrified.] I'll hurt you, too.

[lamb_of_gold]

You'd hardly be the only one.

I don't think you'll be able to hurt me, though. [He feels a whole lot more apathetic than he thinks he should, though...]

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

There's nothing left but a giant sinkhole where it was. Who says I can't do that to the Plane? Who says I can't tear my friends apart like-- like--

[Oh God, here it comes.]

There's nothing I can do to stop it. What I'm becoming is the same as him. I'm a monster!

[silenteden.livejournal.com]

[Of course Kuhn happens to cross her path, seeing as he can't seem to stay in one place for very long either. When he spots her, he immediately knows something is off (obviously) and, with a very concerned frown, rushes to her side.]

Hey... Sirkka.

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka pushes him away defensively.]

Don't bother. I'll only hurt you.

[silenteden.livejournal.com]

[He winces when shoved, rubbing his arm. His mood suddenly shifts away from concern, and the look he gives her is just... grim understanding, along with his own despair. He shakes his head.]

But... what if I can... [...Help? Yeah right. When has he been able to help anyone, especially lately?]

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[And Sirkka is pretty sure she'll just end up killing him.

She looks like she's been crying.]

Kuhn... All you can do is get away from me, as fast as you can, and don't come back.

I wish I could ask you to stop me. But there's no point. They'll just bring me back, and I'll hurt more people...

[silenteden.livejournal.com]

No... you're wrong! You have to be!

[As usual, Kuhn faces despair with denial. He clenches a fist, not sure what to do with himself right now.]

Why can't I help anyone? Why am I so damn useless on the Plane...?

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

It's not your fault. I've been lying to everyone this whole time. I thought it would keep people safe, but it only got them hurt.

[She almost reaches for him, but stops herself. She's poison, beautiful poison.]

Me and my brothers and sisters... we're monsters. All of us.

[collector]

[Braxiatel's shields are as fierce as ever; he can feel something beating at the doors, but he just winds his mind into a more intricate labyrinth, so at least the empathy can't push down on him. And when he speaks, his voice is cool and calm and meant to be heard.]

Sirkka. I think you need to sit down.

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka tugs at her hair like a silent scream. As Braxiatel nears, she turns and /stares/ at him with intensity. It's all under the surface, in her eyes, but it's there: guilt, conflict, guilt guilt guilt.

She's been crying.]

I'm so helpless. You know that, don't you?

[collector]

[Quietly against that intensity, quietly because it's the only way to greet such overwhelming despair.] I find that somewhat difficult to believe.

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

I always try to smile but it's not working. It stopped working a long time ago.

[She does sit, though, ignorant of the wandering monsters. It'd be nice if one of them was strong enough to kill her. And it'd be nice if Braxiatel took her far away from here and put her back together and held her until the universe stopped beating.]

I don't know why I bother. Or why you bother. I'll destroy this place someday at the rate I'm going. Destroy it and flood it and everyone in it.

[collector]

[Brax isn't completely sure why he bothers either, not with how inordinately difficult humans are. He sits down across from her.]

That's a bit Biblical of you, isn't it?

[oncemarauder.livejournal.com]

[Remus doesn't recognise her, but he knows those movements, that expression, and he can't help but approach her with quiet concern] I...won't ask if you're all right. Would you like some tea?

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

... Tea? [She frowns at Remus, incredibly sad.] Tea can't save me now. Only if I choke on it.