♥ watching you walk through that fire is a burden that i can't carry

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[It's Hell on the Astral Plane. In a disturbing and worsening pattern, Sirkka can be found wandering from place to place, never going inside a building... If one steps within ten yards of her they can feel it: something dark enough to be tangible, grief and despair so thick that it could make a lesser person fall to their knees.

She hasn't eaten. She hasn't slept. Quite possibly she doesn't need either. But none of that matters anymore. Her hair is a mess, tangled as it drifts carelessly about her shoulders. She can't keep her head up, so this timebomb waiting to go off just /might/ run into your character.

This is not a consequence.

This is an EMPATH.]

[ooc: Leave your AIM name/email or turn your messages on because STUFF AFFECTS YOUR DUDES BADLY, as are her powers... as always. Also feel free to back out of this once you find out. Really, it's fine.]

Comments

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

[Box walks around the Plane too. As he noticed the monsters has gone quiet so he might as well try and get some things done.]

[He sees Sirkka, and can tell she is a mess... So, moving on, yes, nothing to see there... Box is considering leaving her like that, because he never was the helping type, he was the one needing help. Always.]

Argh...

[He turns back after a few seconds of hesitation and heads toward Sirkka. She was always nice to him, he could at least ask how is she, and what happened, and... stuff.]

Sirkka?

[lamb_of_gold]

[This? This is not okay. This is very not okay. Mu recognizes Sirrka from the time they spoke, but he doesn't really know her. Still, he'd be 1) an asshole and 2) not doing his job if he didn't at least try and help.

So he battens down every psychic hatch he has, places himself between her and where she's going, bracing against the swirls of negativity around her and glad, for the upteenth time, that he's not an empath as well.]

Asking if you're alright would be rather foolish, I presume?

[silenteden.livejournal.com]

[Of course Kuhn happens to cross her path, seeing as he can't seem to stay in one place for very long either. When he spots her, he immediately knows something is off (obviously) and, with a very concerned frown, rushes to her side.]

Hey... Sirkka.

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka doesn't notice Box immediately. When she does, she blinks a few times, as if just waking up.]

... Box...

[There's guilt written all over her face and she can't quite hide it in time.]

I'm... I'm sorry. There's something terribly wrong with me.

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka is aware of Mu being there, but only because she's about to run into him. She stops and looks at him with dead eyes, the rest of her in pain.

Here is someone who has no hope-- someone who doesn't even feel like killing themselves. She's not worth the effort. Nothing is anymore.]

It doesn't matter.

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka pushes him away defensively.]

Don't bother. I'll only hurt you.

[lamb_of_gold]

I beg to differ...

[But something about her words just seems to ring true....still.]

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

I hurt someone. All I ever do is hurt people, as much as I want to help. [She tugs at her hair and looks up at him, desperate and sad and horrified.] I'll hurt you, too.

[lamb_of_gold]

You'd hardly be the only one.

I don't think you'll be able to hurt me, though. [He feels a whole lot more apathetic than he thinks he should, though...]

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

There's nothing left but a giant sinkhole where it was. Who says I can't do that to the Plane? Who says I can't tear my friends apart like-- like--

[Oh God, here it comes.]

There's nothing I can do to stop it. What I'm becoming is the same as him. I'm a monster!

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

[Box purses his lips as he is eying Sirkka. Well, at least he knows that expression from first hand.]

Uuum... [Steps closer despite the complains of his stomach.] I... I don't think you have to apologize for something like that, I mean, uh, if, it's something you didn't do, then... I mean, it's alright, it's... alright. I mean not alright, not-- [Asdfg it's hard to talk somehow, Box feels heavy in his chest.] What's wrong...?

[silenteden.livejournal.com]

[He winces when shoved, rubbing his arm. His mood suddenly shifts away from concern, and the look he gives her is just... grim understanding, along with his own despair. He shakes his head.]

But... what if I can... [...Help? Yeah right. When has he been able to help anyone, especially lately?]

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

No... I did it. I... I lost it. I lost it completely. I tried to kill someone.

[She sinks where she is and just... tries to breathe. Breathing is important. The fog of despair seems to lift a little, but she's still hating on herself for it. Still guilty.]

I don't know why I did it. I just... I reached out, and just like that, I tore him apart. [She chokes back a sob.] He didn't even do anything. Oh, God.

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[And Sirkka is pretty sure she'll just end up killing him.

She looks like she's been crying.]

Kuhn... All you can do is get away from me, as fast as you can, and don't come back.

I wish I could ask you to stop me. But there's no point. They'll just bring me back, and I'll hurt more people...

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

[Box would snort out loud now, because someone talking about... well, murder like that must be some joke, but... Sirkka sounds and feels very serious about it. He follows her with his gaze. Kinda really just staring at her for a little.]

What... What do you mean? I'm sure you didn't... uh, tear apart anyone... You are not like that, Sirkka.

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka tugs at her hair. Tears are practically streaming down her face now. POOR BOX. She's just totally, totally losing it and omg crying women how does I comfort.]

I looked at his head and I made him relive his memories. I tore him apart. I made him blame himself. God, what is wrong with me?

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

[Box immediately stumbles back. It's not personal, but crying women are the worst. The tears, and the voice it's just something very-very no. Not to mention he doesn't understand a word of what Sirkka is saying.]

N-nothing is wrong with you... E-everyone has things they are not proud of, right? It's n-n-natural. [Damn, he can so tell it's lame. If Yui were here she would know what to say!]

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. [She wipes at her eyes, her cheeks.] I-I'm sorry. You're so sweet, so kind to me, and you don't even know.

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

[Any other guy would go and hug her and tell her it will be alright... not Box though, not yet. He crouches down to be on the same eye level with Sirkka even if he is like two meters away.]

Know what? Argh, but you know what- You don't... You don't have to tell. It's not important, I mean... if it's important to you then alright, but I-I guess we should just, uh, forget about, well, bad things... and move on. It's none of my business, I-I really just want you to feel better, or or at least calmer. [Gets his handkerchief from his pockets, the only essentially clean thing in this mess, though Box has a problem with the 'handing it over' part.]

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

[Sirkka slowly registers that he's considering handing over his handkerchief. She shakes her head.]

... You're right. I'm sorry. I just need a moment. [She sniffles rather pathetically and braves a smile.] You don't have to give me anything, Box. Never. Just... you being here helps.

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

[At the smile Box's expression just grows more worried. Mostly because somehow he can still tell that she is feeling bad, and guilty.]

Okay... [Still squeezing the handkerchief awkwardly.] But are you sure? I mean I can get... some sweets, or ice cream, girls like that stuff when they are... feeling... down, no? I play baseball when I feel sad, well, more like practicing the swinging, but I can imagine I'm the biggest baseball star in Japan. Especially when I can hit the ball. [Nervous grin.]

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

That's... that's a good idea, really. I can't remember the last time I ate. [She gets to her feet, a little sloppily but she still manages it.] Ah... Tea and turkish delight. That's how Mr. Braxiatel helped me before. I'm so spoiled.

Why are you so cute? One of these days I'm going to have to hug you, and then you won't like me very much.

[silenteden.livejournal.com]

No... you're wrong! You have to be!

[As usual, Kuhn faces despair with denial. He clenches a fist, not sure what to do with himself right now.]

Why can't I help anyone? Why am I so damn useless on the Plane...?

[newworldlover.livejournal.com]

It's not your fault. I've been lying to everyone this whole time. I thought it would keep people safe, but it only got them hurt.

[She almost reaches for him, but stops herself. She's poison, beautiful poison.]

Me and my brothers and sisters... we're monsters. All of us.

[boxtheotaku.livejournal.com]

Eeeh?! Now, starving yourself is really the worst you can do no wonder you are depressed. Even if I don't really trust the food here either, but it's still better than nothi-- Ha, Turkish delight, what is that? [How many more sweets are there next to strawberry cake, and hotcake?!]

Er... That's not um, true. [Even the thought of that hug makes Box shiver with cold sweat, so he just takes a deep breath.] Let's go to the ki-kitchen, alright? Can you walk?