θ 3

[bit_impossible]

[currently, the Doctor is crawling on the floor in the entrance of the ballroom, occasionally stopping to look and feel under the couches for something. he doesn't show it, but he's been rather shaken up--and he certainly is not happy]

Come on out! I know you're here somewhere. You've got to be! I felt you before you--[he pauses, his hand suddenly darting under a plush chair]--did whatever you did a few moments ago.


[ooc: The Doctor had to make a choice! When you tag in, I'll leave you a little message in his reply back so you know what's up~]

Comments

[oliverplus]

Yeah, you do. Better than you used to, but still. [his eyes say that he really wishes he could stop talking right now]

The bar's good for that.

[bit_impossible]

[he's vaguely appeased] Well, at least you're correct there.

So. [taps his hands on the table] I think you can tell what I want to ask next, but I want you to be able to tell me under your own volition and not my prompting. Especially since...well, I am doing this to you in some way.

[oliverplus]

[cringes, shifting uncomfortably as he starts to fill a glass] I'm not in here all the time or anything. [and unfortunately, though he wants to choose his own words this time, he finds himself telling the truth anyway] I just like a pint--or two. Sometimes three--to calm down after an upsetting day. But I like it better when there's somebody else here.

[bit_impossible]

Well, that's a slight relief to hear, anyway. [not that he's happy to hear it at all...]

You know you can talk to me about these things that are upsetting you.

[oliverplus]

I know. But I don't like to make people worry about me, and you worry too much already. [makes a face, glancing nervously at the Doctor. he's starting to overfill the pint, but it takes him a second to notice that. oops]

[bit_impossible]

Maybe if you quit dodging things so much, you wouldn't make people worry.

[oliverplus]

They'd worry even more if I told them how I really felt about things!

[he very purposefully does not make eye contact after saying that, focusing his attention resolutely on wiping the spot on the bar where he just spilled]

[bit_impossible]

Somehow, I doubt that. You really haven't got the best face for playing poker, you know. Can't pull the wool over everyone's eyes--least of all mine.

[oliverplus]

But you knowing something's wrong is better than you knowing what it is. [still keeps his attention on what he's doing, trying to ignore what he's saying. fills the second glass, offering one out to the Doctor as he comes around the bar]

[bit_impossible]

I don't think so. I can put up with it half the time because I know you and eventually will get it out of you, but for those who don't, or those who are just beginning to start to know you, well... You should just be careful. You could end up burning more bridges faster than you can build them.

Speaking of, what has been upsetting you? And don't give me any looks or make faces at my question; I'd ask the same thing no matter what situation we were in.

[oliverplus]

[surprised] How could that burn bridges?

[oh, he's giving you a look all right. because this isn't any old situation--this is a situation in which he's being forced to answer] I'm not happy on Gondovan.

And Anna broke up with me.

[suddenly, that pint is veeeery interesting]

[bit_impossible]

Because people might get the impression that you don't trust them, and after a while of you asking about them and not giving anything in return, they might grow a little tired of that.

That's why I'm asking you these questions now because trying to get the full truth of what's bothering you can take a bit sometimes. [puts a hand out, giving Oliver's shoulder a squeeze] And I'm sorry you're not happy there. Who can be happy on a great dust ball like Gondovan? And about Anna as well. Your empathic power has made things quite difficult for you, hasn't it?

[oliverplus]

But I'm happier talking about them! And I tell people things. I just like it to be the good things, as much as it can be.

[frowns at him] That's because I don't want you to know. [you might be putting up with this look for a little while, Doctor]

It's not the best place, but...I think maybe I could've been, if I hadn't come to the Plane. [winces]

Yeah, but that wasn't why she did it. [opens his mouth, meaning to say one thing, but another comes out entirely] She got tired of me living some other life at the same time. And I think she knows I plan to leave.

[bit_impossible]

It can't just be the good things, not when so many other things continue to hurt you.

[frowns. sorry, but he has to ask] Why?

Something tells me you wouldn't have had a choice in that matter. I think something or someone wants us here. But what happens at home...that's all up to us. And I'm sorry things didn't work out with Anna. I'd thought they might--hoped, even--but do you see what I mean? There is only so far people will go with you until they grow tired of--hold on, you are planning to leave?

[oliverplus]

Because you'll worry even more. And if I tell even just you, then I have to face that it's real--that I'm really unhappy. I'd rather pretend it all doesn't exist, and then nobody else has to worry about it, and I don't either. And you'll want to fix it, too, and...it can't just be fixed.

[that pint's gotten really interesting again. Oliver's too ashamed to even look at the Doctor, but unfortunately, he can't stop yet. he's been asked too many questions. he starts his next answer with a nod] I spend most of my time on the Plane--or sometimes at my merger with Jamie. That's why things didn't work with Anna. I like being here more than anything. I don't want to live on Gondovan anymore.

[bit_impossible]

Ohhh, now you can't say that. You know me, Oliver. It's like you said, I'll want to fix it, and I think it eventually can. But you can't run away from your problems. They...have a habit of finding you soon enough. Take it from me! I've been running all my life. [and yes, he's being completely honest. only fair...]

Never crossed your mind to share it with her, huh? [he sighs and shrugs, not touching his own pint] There is one question I want to ask, and I'm not too sure if I should. Not with the way you are now. [frowns] I'm afraid what you could say might not be for the best, but just know that despite everything said in the past and now, you'll always have a place at my side. [he tries for a smile and ruffles Oliver's hair]

[oliverplus]

But I still can't go home.

[his eyes widen at the fact that he just said that, and he quickly continues] I did tell her about it. But it was too late then, and she can't share it with me anyway. Living on Gondovan--especially with Anna--can't really work unless I stop running from it all the time. And I won't.

[glances at the Doctor at that. opens his mouth, knowing what the question is. he's tempted to answer it, but he's afraid that his answer might come out with all sorts of things he doesn't want to say. he pauses before saying:] I'm really, really grateful for that. When I realised you weren't coming back, I thought I'd ruined everything forever...

And I wish I could yell at you for what you just did, but it just makes me more grateful because you wouldn't do it if you didn't still care. [but he still makes a face, whether at the ruffling or what he just said, well, that's up to you to guess, Doctor]

[bit_impossible]

I'm sorry for what I just did, but I'm glad you do believe me. And please believe that you will get home. I will get you home.

[oliverplus]

[cringes, looking away] [softly] That's not a promise you have to keep.

[bit_impossible]

I wasn't able to back then. You don't think I haven't thought about once since then?

[oliverplus]

[he wishes he could stop himself, but he has to say it] You never came back.

[bit_impossible]

I didn't think you'd want me to. You were very clear you didn't want to go.

[oliverplus]

[oh Ten, Oliver wishes you hadn't opened this flood of feelings] It was too soon after everything that happened! I didn't know! I...I didn't realise what I was doing.

I was wrong.

[bit_impossible]

[it's probably a good thing the Doctor is still masking his own, huh?] It was two months. But to me...it feels a lot longer being in one place than it would for you. And yes, you might not have known what you were doing, but I could have listened better. You remember how I was like back then. [he smiles faintly] And I don't just mean the scarf and curls.

[oliverplus]

[glances at him, afraid to say anything to that. he doesn't want the Doctor to know how he really feels about what happened] I remember.

I...wanted to go home then. But you don't have bring me there anymore.