eighteenth pact ❖ {the other emil}

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil is on the Plane again, or rather, he's been here for a while; there's a couple batches of white-chocolate-chip macadamia-nut cookies sitting on the counters in the kitchen. Since that ceased to quell his restlessness and anxiety, he can be found sitting at the other end of the kitchen island on a stool, his feet resting on the bottom rung. A fat black and white hare snuggles into his arms. Really, who doesn't want to curl up with a bunny that has giant sharp teeth?

That, at least, seems to have worked, though he's still rather depressed-looking. But then again that's how he is all the time.]

I wonder if I'll disappear.

[ooc: One last tiny canon bump before the plot starts! Emil woke up as himself and not Ratatosk, told Tenebrae about his dreams, then overheard Regal basically saying they'd figured shit out. This led to Emil admitting about the existence of Aster's notes and the message Ten gave him and uh, everyone's kind of worried and mad. But mostly worried. They ought to be on their way to find Rilena now. :|b]

Comments

[grand-gaia.livejournal.com]

You alright?

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil blinks and looks up slowly to see Isaac. A small, uneasy smile crosses his face.] I-I'm okay. [Real convincing, Master Derpface. The bunny in his arms makes cute chittery noises at Isaac.]

[grand-gaia.livejournal.com]

You sure? You just look kinda down.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[He sighs, his smile giving into a faint frown.] Well, things have been pretty rough lately...

[grand-gaia.livejournal.com]

I know how that is.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil shifts awkwardly and hides his nose behind the bunny's ears.]

Everyone's going through a hard time, huh.

[grand-gaia.livejournal.com]

I guess so. Things just pile u--![Isaac is interruped, then, by a squawk, and promptly barreled into by a half-grown bird that looks sort of like a rainbow exploded onto a smallish Heron]

Waagh--! Haru! I was talking!

[Haru seems quite content to park her half-feathered butt on Isaac]

I swear she thinks she's still a chick.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil blinks at the SUDDEN BIRD HARASSMENT. And then-- and then--

-- he laughs. It's a small cute chuckle, but it's his.]

I think most monsters are that way...

[He smiles a bit and scritches behind the vorpal bunny's ears.]

Um, you can have some cookies if you want. They're for everyone.

[grand-gaia.livejournal.com]

I might. If this bird would get off me.

[Haru chirps at Emil, then looks at Isaac and SQUAWKS again]

[pactum.livejournal.com]

She really likes you. [Emil lets the vorpal bunny down, which decides to scamper up the back of the stool and shove Emil off. That's okay, because he's going to grab a small plate and pile it with cookies, then hand them to Isaac.]

Here you go.

[grand-gaia.livejournal.com]

[Isaac manages to shove her off his chest and onto his legs so he can sit up, and takes a cookie]

She's got a funny way of showing it, sometimes.

[Haru chirps happily]

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil offers his other hand to Haru. Seeing as he's a monster tamer, his bond with animals should come as no surprise.]

She gets worried if you're out of her sight for too long. I think.

[grand-gaia.livejournal.com]

[Haru clucks and nuzzles Emil's hand]

Really?

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil scritches beneath her chin with a soft, sweet smile.]

That's what it usually means when a mons-- er, a pet is really clingy. They want to protect you all the time, even if they can't.

[ex_fatalist246]

[It doesn't seem to be the angry side, and Satoshi was pushing him a little hard, so he feels some obligation to check in on him. But he was taught not to have compassion, so he doesn't quite know what to say.]

[Satoshi looks at the cookies.]

Can I have one?

[He is sure that, if he actually had someone he consulted on the matter, they would tell him he needed to take in more sugar, so it seems a practical enough request.]

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Awww, Satoshi. Emil looks up at the question and spots Satoshi. There's a moment of apprehension, and then it's gone. Emil straightens a bit.] Y-yeah, of course! I made them for... whoever wants them, really. [True to form, some of them are even in cute shapes. What a girl.]

[ex_fatalist246]

[The cutely shaped ones . . . confuse Satoshi. But he uses his amazing powers of inference to figure out why people would make things in different shapes. He picks up one and looks at it a moment - he never has had a cookie before - and then he puts it in his mouth and chews it with consideration.]

[When he's done chewing] They're good.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Wow, talk about sheltered. Emil doesn't know that, though he does seem somewhat surprised that Satoshi is even eating one of his cookies, let alone enjoying it.] Th... thanks! [That's a good sign, and Emil finally lets a smile slip.] I was going to make a different kind, but I forgot which. So I made the same thing as before.

[ex_fatalist246]

Do you cook here often? [It is not small-talk in the slightest. It just seems like a logical query.]

[pactum.livejournal.com]

Y-yeah, I do. There's a lot more ingredients to choose from here. [He glances down at the vorpal bunny, which chitters and licks its paw.] Feeding monsters gets expensive... and they can be kinda picky, even if the food is good. At least they don't mind eating what I make for me and Marta most of the time.

[ex_fatalist246]

[a slight pause] Do you want a possum?

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[LMAO]

... Um... what?

[ex_fatalist246]

It's an animal. It came out of an egg, but I can't really take care of it.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

Oh... I'm sorry, I don't think I can. I've already got a kitten. Two, if you count Marta's.

Besides, if it came out of an egg from the Plane, it'll be miserable without you.

[He smiles, but only briefly.]

Maybe you can give it to a friend?

[ex_fatalist246]

[But giving things to a Niwa is against his blood!]

[Satoshi just nods, as muted as usual.] I'll try.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil feels bad anyway.]

If that doesn't work, then I'll take it. I'm just afraid Wolf might eat it...

[ex_fatalist246]

[Satoshi doesn't feel right pushing responsibility onto other people unfairly.] It's fine. He mostly takes care of himself.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

... If you're sure.

[A pause. He fidgets.]

Thank you for telling me about the notes. You were wrong about where they were, though.

[ex_fatalist246]

Did you learn anything from them?

[pactum.livejournal.com]

... Yeah, I think so.

[ex_fatalist246]

[a pause] Good news?

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[He closes his eyes, smiles weakly.]

It answered some questions. I still have a lot more, though...

[ex_fatalist246]

[Satoshi picks up another cookie to eat, briefly considers offering it to Emil, and then decides he doesn't actually know if this is a good idea, because isn't the idea behind being comforted by homecooking that it's made by someone else?]

If you need help looking into it, I don't mind.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

I don't know if there's anything you can do.

We're... we're going to find someone that Aster knew. If we can figure out what he was doing before he died then maybe... we can finally solve this thing.

[ex_fatalist246]

[his hands slipping into his pockets] Even if you're him, it doesn't mean you're not you.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil looks somewhat baffled.]

But... if I'm just a fake, then I'll disappear when he remembers.

[ex_fatalist246]

Whoever he was, it's not like he was born real and you were born out of him, so you don't really exist. You both came from histories, and you both made your personalities. That's who you are.

By living, you became real. If you want to keep living, you won't disappear.

[Satoshi isn't sure why he is saying this, except that it is important, and perhaps the things that Daisuke and Kosuke have said have stuck with him more than he would confess. No one wants to fade away into someone else.]

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[Emil feels more excuses rise to the surface, but looking at Satoshi and his quiet resolve, he can't really say them.

He /does/ want to keep living. For Marta... for everyone. For himself. Maybe that makes him selfish, but he thinks that maybe Aster would understand.]

Maybe you're right... Because, I do want to keep living. I'm definitely not giving up. Not until my journey is done, and beyond that... Who knows what I'd be missing.

[ex_fatalist246]

[Satoshi nods, a silent acceptance of Emil's own resolve, as timid as it may or may not be.] Good luck.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

T-thanks, Hiwatari. [The name feels awkward on his tongue, but then again, it's a foreign name. Like something from Mizuho.] You like these cookies, right? I can give you a bag. And the recipe, too.

[ex_fatalist246]

I can't really cook. [Then he remembers what the reply is supposed to be.] Thanks.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

You can't cook? [... Somehow he's not surprised. Richter couldn't cook either. In fact, it was so bad that it made Emil black out once.] Well then... if you want more cookies, or you just want something that doesn't come out of a can, you can ask me. I don't mind at all. For me, cooking is something I do to help relax. When I see others enjoying it, it makes me feel better too.

[ex_fatalist246]

I'm fine. [It's the reflexive response, and he knows it isn't really what Emil meant. He's trying.] Maybe I will. Thanks again.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

[He is, and Emil appreciates it.]

Thank you... for helping me. I feel a little better now.

[dkl;aj;lksf bet he doesn't hear that often.]

[ex_fatalist246]

[Indeed he doesn't. As such, it is time to be cold and removed and emotionless. It is the Hikari way of dealing with a) crazy curses and b) awkward moments.] It wasn't anything.

[pactum.livejournal.com]

It was to me.

[He's positively glowing now, but it's probably because Satoshi reminds him of Richter and there's a certain familiarity in dealing with linefaces. He presses a sandwich bag of cookies into his hands.]

Let's meet again soon, okay? Be careful.