realityshifted | Survival Horror!!!!

[Deathmatches? Whatever, who cares. You know what really matters? Video Games. In fact, Ray and Chris care very much about this video game. It's Resident Evil 3 if you must know. They're sitting on a couch with a table between them and the TV. Said table already has a few beers finished or half-finished along with bags of crisps and various snack foods.

Ray is the one with the controller but they're both very into the game at the moment. Should you disturb them? Well, take a listen and see!]

[Chris has a hand on Ray's shoulder for moral support.] Uh, no, no, Ray, you gotta get behind the desk! 'Cos it can't fire through it. Ray!

I'm behind the bloody desk! Look! Desk! I'm runnin' into the damn thing! [totally running into the desk for emphasis!!!]

Maybe you need to run into it more? Oh, shit, he's gonna fire! You gotta run!

I can't run if you're yellin' at me! [attempt at dodging the rocket!!! attempt successful!!!] Shit, I don't think me bullets're goin' over the desk or sommat.

[Making vague and wild hand gestures.] Try the grenades! The launcher thing. It'll launch'em like...over it.

We already used those on the stairs, div! Okay, I think... maybe if when he's shootin', I go 'round the desk, shoot him, then go back behind it.

Yeah, yeah, do that, just careful 'cos he's a fast bastard.

[Who cares if they're fighting Nemesis? Bug them anyway! There's tons of beer and food at least?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Having not heard about all that silly death match stuff yet, Sam is much more interested in video games! Because he loves video games.]

You're getting along with the future better than I'd expected.

[It means he's happy, really. In his way.]

[Ray has died to Nemesis again, so he's mashing buttons to skip the stupid FMV, no he doesn't care to see Jill scream about zombies and CGI videos again, go away.

He glances over at Sam.]

Yeah, well, compared to half the shit here, 's normal.

[Come on load already NO HE DIDN'T SAY HE WANTED TO SAVE AGAIN GO AWAY YOU STUPID TYPEWRITER NO NO NO oh damnit it started the dialogue again stupid bloody typewriters.]

[Chris looks away from the boring junk Ray's doing to grin up at Sam.]

This is so cool, boss. Do you play this? Ray's better at this one.

I play more first person shooters. [But he is smiling. Seriously. Sam Tyler, smiling! Someone call the news stations. Because Ray and Chris playing RE3 is amazing.]

Got a few of those.

[Ray has escaped eternal dialogue, and begins absently trying to trigger Nemesis to appear again so he can lure him into desk room.]

Ain't so easy to play 'em pissed, though.

[Proudly.]

I'm good at'em. I usually play those ones. Anyway, sorta fun to watch ray playing this.

No, probably not the best thing to do when pissed. Does drinking really help you with the horror games?

[Because Sam obviously does the puzzles while perfectly sober]

'course it does, Tyler.

[Nemesis has appeared! Adventures in baiting him to the desk room!]

'specially with the soddin' puzzles. How am I supposed to know you move statues to certain spots? Or hell, half of 'em doin' math.

[He sniffs as he continues on his mission to kill Nemesis.]

Easier than Silent Hill ones, though. Those we're a pain in the arse. Half of 'em were bloody poetry.

[Chris nods.] Still don't think this is a good set-up for a station, though. Guess in Silent Hill, it's all right, since that shit's in your head or something. But no good copper'd lock up rooms with bloody...gems from the sewers. Remember that one cop from the second game? The bastard one that killed his own men?

[Look at your boys, Sam. All growed up and playing video games.]

I don't know, judging from the two of you, that might be a fool-proof security system.

[Ray smirks a bit.]

It'd only work so long as nobody fenced the gems. Soon as it happened, tough shit, you aren't gettin' in anywhere in your own station.

[It is a valid point, you know it. But he then nods to Chris, and picks up on that.]

Yeah, Irons, think it was. Got what was comin' to him.

Yeah, right bastard he were. [But now he's thinking about this.] Dunno, if it were me and there were zombies everywhere, wouldn't be thinking of the gems.

So we'll use gems as our way of locking the place up next time zombies invade.

[...which has happened before. Sam pauses a bit remembering that, because, uhm. Yes. Sigh.]

They wouldn't be fencin' 'em during a zombie attack, div. [For emphasis, he lightly smacks Chris on the back of the head.] Be before it.

[Though Sam's suggestion is so not cool to Ray, he does not want thank you.] No need to, Tyler. Just lock it up regular like, zombies ain't gonna figure it out. Probably spend ages flailin' at a door, not realisin' they could probably just bust it down or sommat.

[Chris rubs the back of his head.] Think you could cuff a zombie? Guess even then they'd bite.

You definitely can't cuff a zombie. Trust me on that one.

[Ray just gives Chris a 'what the hell' expression. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO CUFF A ZOMBIE.]

Yeah but see, boss knows.

It was how I found out the bloke was a zombie.

[Ray feels like he's trapped in the middle of two crazy guys, His expression conveys this. Why is he doomed in such a horrible manner.]

You know, between both of you goin' on 'bout cuffin' zombies, I'm startin' to think I'm the only sane one here.

Dunno, doesn't seem that weird.

It was before you were able to get here. You can ask the Guv about it if you like. We had Brian bloody Blessed narrating. [Sam is very unimpressed by that. Because it hurt his ears big time.]

No, I don't wanna know about it. [See this? This is Ray not wanting to hear any more crazy adventures.] And Chris, nothin's weird to you.

Some stuff's weird! Like...them little sausage things mum used to buy. The really tiny ones. Dunno why you'd want'em. They're too small to be filling so you have to eat the whole pack and then you might as well have gotten a bloody regular sausage.