realityshifted | Survival Horror!!!!

[Deathmatches? Whatever, who cares. You know what really matters? Video Games. In fact, Ray and Chris care very much about this video game. It's Resident Evil 3 if you must know. They're sitting on a couch with a table between them and the TV. Said table already has a few beers finished or half-finished along with bags of crisps and various snack foods.

Ray is the one with the controller but they're both very into the game at the moment. Should you disturb them? Well, take a listen and see!]

[Chris has a hand on Ray's shoulder for moral support.] Uh, no, no, Ray, you gotta get behind the desk! 'Cos it can't fire through it. Ray!

I'm behind the bloody desk! Look! Desk! I'm runnin' into the damn thing! [totally running into the desk for emphasis!!!]

Maybe you need to run into it more? Oh, shit, he's gonna fire! You gotta run!

I can't run if you're yellin' at me! [attempt at dodging the rocket!!! attempt successful!!!] Shit, I don't think me bullets're goin' over the desk or sommat.

[Making vague and wild hand gestures.] Try the grenades! The launcher thing. It'll launch'em like...over it.

We already used those on the stairs, div! Okay, I think... maybe if when he's shootin', I go 'round the desk, shoot him, then go back behind it.

Yeah, yeah, do that, just careful 'cos he's a fast bastard.

[Who cares if they're fighting Nemesis? Bug them anyway! There's tons of beer and food at least?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Chris rubs the back of his head.] Think you could cuff a zombie? Guess even then they'd bite.

You definitely can't cuff a zombie. Trust me on that one.

[Ray just gives Chris a 'what the hell' expression. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO CUFF A ZOMBIE.]

Yeah but see, boss knows.

It was how I found out the bloke was a zombie.

[Ray feels like he's trapped in the middle of two crazy guys, His expression conveys this. Why is he doomed in such a horrible manner.]

You know, between both of you goin' on 'bout cuffin' zombies, I'm startin' to think I'm the only sane one here.

Dunno, doesn't seem that weird.

It was before you were able to get here. You can ask the Guv about it if you like. We had Brian bloody Blessed narrating. [Sam is very unimpressed by that. Because it hurt his ears big time.]

No, I don't wanna know about it. [See this? This is Ray not wanting to hear any more crazy adventures.] And Chris, nothin's weird to you.

Some stuff's weird! Like...them little sausage things mum used to buy. The really tiny ones. Dunno why you'd want'em. They're too small to be filling so you have to eat the whole pack and then you might as well have gotten a bloody regular sausage.

[...sorry, you what? Sam is at a loss.]

[Guess what, Sam? Ray agrees. He in fact takes a moment to put his hand over his face, because this is what he hangs out with. All the time.]

Chris. You're bein' a bigger div than normal. Those are for parties, not for... forget it, I'm not botherin'.

[Ray isn't touching this one. Nope. Not doing it.]

[He can't help it and scratches his neck.]

People'd want more sausage than that. I would, anyway.

Chris, those are for hors d'oeuvre. They're not meant to... to fill you. They're what you eat waiting for the real meal to be served.

[he is trying!!]

[Ray just continues fighting Nemesis. It's very rarely someone else gets to be The Explain Things To Chris Guy.]

[He considers this strange and unusual.]

So it's like breakfast?

You don't eat breakfast to make you hungry for lunch, Chris.

He does, though.

[Ray makes sure to clear that up. Because Chris does eat breakfast to prepare for lunch. It's true.]

[He nods, very solemn.]

Yeah, mum always said you start eating early in the day, so your stomach is ready for more food.

Survival Horror!!!!

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