063: When There is Nothing Left to Burn You Have to Set Yourself On Fire

[contract_star]

[Hei appears on the Plane.]

[He is carrying a gun. It is a handgun, generic, nondescript.]

[It's not anger on his face. It's not even fury. There are no words to describe the levels of anger and loss that are radiating from him. There is tiredness there as well. He has been out searching for the better part of the past twenty-four hours.]

[He comes to a stop, the gun hanging at his side, his eyes darting every which way.]


TWINS! COME OUT HERE, NOW!!




[ooc: Hei is extremely unstable right now and is liable to shoot anyone he thinks is in his way. Be careful! Also, in a few tags Hei is going to try to break the Plane using his godmod powers of molecular manipulation. The people who will be jumping into that to stop the world from ending Hei from killing himself and others know who they are. But beware if your character chooses to come up to him after he has triggered the ability. IM me at pendragon237 if you're planning on this so we can discuss.]

Comments

[mercwamouth]

Can we just pretend I already did? I mean jeez, what's got you...?

...

[It dawns on him what sort of thing would make Hei this emotional]

What happened?

[contract_star]

Misaki is gone.

[mercwamouth]

...Gone?

Gone as in dead? Gone as in missing from your reality? Gone as in not coming back here? Be specific.

[contract_star]

I called her. I was worried. Henrietta is gone too, and I was worried. So I called her. No answer. The number didn't exist. Sent her Plane mail, got it back within hours. I tried the news channel that was broadcasting from her future, and it was showing normal news. I looked up her office number and called her there. They were fine. And she was there. A few days ago, she was fighting her way through the Gate. Why the hell would she be at the office?

I spoke to her. She didn't...remember anything, the Plane, any of it. She didn't... [He can't talk about this anymore. It's too much. It's too soon. He's still in denial.]

She's gone. She and her entire reality, gone.

1/3

[mercwamouth]

2/3

[mercwamouth]

3/3

[mercwamouth]

Good.

[contract_star]

[He comes to an abrupt stop.]

[Very softly,] Excuse me?

[mercwamouth]

I'm glad.

Happy for her.

She's gone back to what she should be instead of what this place and her bleak future turned her into.

Did you see her the past few months? What she's been going through? You should know better than anyone. She didn't deserve it. Sure she could handle it, but she didn't deserve it.

Now she's got a chance to start over.

[contract_star]

[Oh god. Hei had been about to electrocute Deadpool and then keep it coming, had been about to try and tear him limb from limb, but when Deadpool puts it like that, it makes sense, it's good. Because she deserved better than this place, right? And more than that, she deserved better than Hei.]

She wouldn't--she wouldn't have wanted it. To forget. She would have wanted to start over, maybe, but not--not forget. Not forget all of it. Our, her, her children. There was a chance--there was a chance we could have still--but it won't happen now. It'll never happen.

[He's shaking now. So this is what optimism gets you.]

[mercwamouth]

She's still alive, isn't she?

She's not exactly our Misaki, but she's still Misaki.

If one Misaki was dopey enough to fall for you, another might be.

But I don't think you want that. Not yet anyway.

[contract_star]

[He shakes his head. Everything seems to be shattering around him.]

No. It'll never happen now. Logically. E...Emotionally. It's just not possible.

[mercwamouth]

If love is real, it'll find a way.

Or at least that's what some poor naive sap might say. Normally, I'd side with you on this one, but considering you look like you're ready to burn a few orphanages, I'm gonna tell you to listen to the naive sap.

But what do I care? So you lost your love. Big deal. Been there, done that. But if you still want to go try and take out the Twins for this? You'd only be doing it for what they did to you, not what they did to Misaki.

If this was their doing, all they did to Misaki was take back all the shit they put her through, and I'm inclined to thank 'em for it. Sure it sucks that I'll probably never see her again, but better that than having to see her like the last time I saw her.

[contract_star]

[...Oh, right. Logic. That's how a Contractor is supposed to live, isn't it? Make the logical decision, BK-201--how often has he heard that? Logically this is the best thing that could have happened to Misaki. She's free. She can pursue her career, catch her bad guys, marry some nice, normal guy and have some nice, normal children, and then grow old and die, die properly. No more black blood, no more experiments, no more Twins, no more Masters, no more Hei.]

[She'll be fine. She'll be happy. She's free. That's the logical point of view.]

No. [He shakes his head.] No. I'm tired of this. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of sacrificing my happiness for everyone else's. I've lived my entire life for other people. And it doesn't matter. They always die. Every single time. Why does this always happen? Why couldn't they send me back too? I can't.

[He sinks to his knees, dropping the gun.] I can't do this anymore.

[mercwamouth]

...There was this riddle from the finale of "Northern Exposure".

"How do you keep the one you love?"

[contract_star]

[Hei doesn't answer or acknowledge that Deadpool has even spoken.]

[mercwamouth]

Well? Don't you wanna know how?

[contract_star]

Shut up. Please. Please just shut up and leave me alone.

[mercwamouth]

You can't.

[contract_star]

[He fists both hands in his hair.]

Stop. Stop. Just stop.

[mercwamouth]

Now, I always thought that answer was a little schmaltzy. I mean, the last season did kinda suck.

But it's true.

[contract_star]

[He gives up. He sort of folds in on himself and clutches at his chest. It's hard to breathe.]

Then the solution is easy, isn't it? Stop caring.

[mercwamouth]

Or suck it up.

[contract_star]

I can't. I'm tired of this. I just can't do this anymore.

[mercwamouth]

So what? Are you gonna kill yourself? Good luck with that.