009 - Now Now Why Don't You Get a Job?

[mercwamouth]

[Deadpool drops in with some brand new gear and a nice little button on his chest that reads "Ask me about the Twin's Shop". He's checking his weapons, making sure they're clean and loaded. He's also looking over some files and photos from a manila folder.]

It's good to be employed.

[Still should have asked for two million.]

Well, I didn't expect him to give me one million. Usually they talk you down to about $750,000 which usually ends up being more like $500,000 after taxes.

[They tax mercenaries?]

"Taxes" is my special word for a weekend in Vegas.

[I thought Vegas treated the costumed ones well? You used to clean that place out.]

Yeah, well that was before Hulk had his turn cleaning that place out.

[You're getting off-topic]

What? Oh right. Like I was saying, a million is fine. Should be more than enough to pay the bills and maybe get me one of them BFGs ol' Nick has been luggin' around.

[Compensation much?]

And on top of that, I got a pretty good gig with the Twins. Haven't had much luck yet, but I'm optimistic.

[You may be the only person in the world who can be optimistic before going off to fight zombies.]

Correction: Vampire zombies. And for a million smackers.

Comments

[madamemoiselle]

{Laughing}

Vampire zombies? Really?

[mercwamouth]

Well, not vampires like you, vampires in the more basic sense. They feed on flesh, like zombies, and the flesh makes them stronger, smarter, younger, like vampires.

Vampire zombies.

Zampires.

[madamemoiselle]

How odd! Ne, are they rotted corpses too, or are they pretty things? After the, ah, zombies in the thing that the Twins did most recently, I'd be glad to never see another.

[coil-legacy.livejournal.com]

[Just sort of staring for a moment.]

You're working for them now?

[mercwamouth]

You talking about the Twins or Zeke? 'Cause the 'Pool has been popular lately.

[coil-legacy.livejournal.com]

Oh, I mean the Twins.

[got-the-stones.livejournal.com]

What's that about the Twins?

[mercwamouth]

Oh hey, Toph.

Workin' for the Twins. Publicity. I'm supposed to try and improve their public image, get people to go to their shop.

[got-the-stones.livejournal.com]

Heh, considering what I've heard, they'll probably need it. No one around here has anything good to say. I can see why, what with those wisps before.

[shinypaws.livejournal.com]

[Human!Ammy!] Vampire zombies? That does sound rather...hm, I think "epic" is the word I am looking for.

[mercwamouth]

"Epic" is a good word. "Chimichanga" is also a good word. How ya doin' Ammy?

[shinypaws.livejournal.com]

Rather well, I should think! I am ready to move on from Agata Forest. There is little else that I can do there.

[contract_star]

So you really are working for them.

[mercwamouth]

[Jesus, I'm getting tagged by a parade of Pen characters. Must be my lucky day.

[Did the million dollar job not give it away?]

Yeah, I am. Though it's kind of a lax job. Just PR work, really. And the rewards will be worth the risk.

[contract_star]

[You know it~]

You can probably expect backlash if anything else goes wrong, though. Just to warn you.

[fry-face.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you landed yourself one hell of a job.

[mercwamouth]

Certainly sounds like it. But the nice-sounding one's usually have a hitch.

...Y'know, other than the zombies.

[fry-face.livejournal.com]

Well, if they're anything like the zombies in the horror flicks we get shipped in and out of Roanapur, chop off the head and you should be fine.

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

You mean the button isn't bringing them in droves quite yet?

[mercwamouth]

Think I should make it bigger?

[exserpens.livejournal.com]

Blinking, perhaps.

You really haven't received anything from the Twins yet?

[humanwaterdemon.livejournal.com]

I've heard of zombies before and I've heard of vampires but I've never heard of vampire zombies.

[mercwamouth]

Well, now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

[Geee Iiiii Jooooooe!]

[onedrous.livejournal.com]

[In passing, smirks a little when he hears 'the twins']

[mercwamouth]

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