(no subject)

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[AND ONTO THE PLANE COMES OUR ERSTWILE HERO, SHAMBLING ABOUT IN AN APPARENT DRUNKEN STUPOR AS HIS ZOMBIFIED REMAINS FIGHT THE POWERFUL URGE TO DEVOUR ANY AND ALL WHO APPROACH HIM]

Shut the bloody hell up you fuckin' loon!

[CRIED OUR HERO TO THE SKY, SHAKING A MIGHTY FIST AS GENERIC HEAVY METAL (TO BE DETERMINED BY DERO WHENEVER SHE GETS HOME) BLARED IN THE BACKGROUND, LENDING WEIGHT TO HIS HEAVY THOUGHTS]

I said shut it! Oi!

[WRACKED BY THE OVERWHELMING URGE TO FEED, OUR HERO FALLS TO HIS KNEES, CLUTCHING A STOMACH GROWLING FOR THE FLESH OF THE LIVING, CURSING THE WORLD FOR HIS PLIGHT]

I said shut up, you damn div!

[MEANWHILE, CHEETAHS ARE HUNTING THE STREETS OF HIS BELOVED MANCHESTER, SEEKING OUT WARM BLOOD AND FLESH. CAN OUR HERO OVERCOME HIS OWN INSATIABLE NEED, OR WILL HE BE HAVING DESERT -- WITH HIS DI AS THE MAIN INGREDIENT? AND WILL HE EVER STOP WASTING BULLETS SHOOTING AT THE SKY?]


[ooc; The long-awaited Manchester zombie post! Sorry for the delay, folks. Have fun tagging zombie!Gene and making up scenarios with the cheetahs still in Manchester. Also: I will be tagging slowly, as I am posting this from work, so have fun amongst yourselves. And oh yes, the narrator is BRIAN BLESSED so, those who can hear him? Have fun.]

Comments

[didorothy]

[stumbles onto the plane, covered in blood and dirt and zombie and carrying a shot gun]

[AND SO SAM TYLER FACES OFF AGAINST HIS DCI - HIS FRIEND, HIS FOE, HIS L--]

Enough of that, Blessed. I didn't like you even when you weren't narrating the zombie apocalypse.

[a beat]

...I didn't think you'd listen.

[BUT WHAT FATE IS TO BEFALL YOUNG TYLER?]

[phhhpt]

Guv, firing lead into the disembodied voice won't help when the voice is disembodied.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

Piss off, Gladys. I don't --

[HE OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE VERY REAL POSSIBILITY OF ATTACKING HIS DI, THE ONE MAN GENE COULDN'T BEAR TO HARM]

-- want to hear it. [reloads his revolver and aims again, limbs shaking. because he's a REANIMATED CORPSE] If he doesn't shut the hell up I'm gonna kick his ass!

[didorothy]

He doesn't have one to kick, Guv! I think we should maybe focus on deflecting the zombie attack.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

I am the bleedin' zombie attack, or didn't you notice?

[didorothy]

[It is with a brief flicker of remorse that Sam acknowledges: THAT IS WHAT THE SHOTGUN IS FOR.]

[ignoring the voice]

I did, actually. Well done on getting killed yet again. But if you're fighting it, others should be able to fight it too.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[THAT SAME REMORSE FLICKERS OVER GENE'S ZOMBIFIED FEATURES, BECAUSE HE KNOWS HIS DI IS READY AND WILLING TO KILL HIM]

[also ignore the voice! and is that a new icon?]

Oh, piss off you bloody git. I don't fancy anyone dying, or do you really want to test that theory?

[didorothy]

I am not willing to kill him!

[bit of a shrug]

Shoot him in the leg, maybe, but he'd deserve that.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

Maybe not, but how many other zombies did you off?

[crosses his arms]

I don't think that's gonna stop a bunch of blokes who should be dead, Tyler.

[didorothy]

It works in Resident Evil.

[THE MAN IS A GENRE SAVVY ONE, AND IT IS THIS THAT SHALL DOOM HIM!!]

But judging from the music, this is a low-budget film. Low-budget films mean inexplicable returns from the dead, unzombified and in perfect health.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

No one is dooming my DI!

[IF ONLY HE HAD THE SAME STRENGTHS AND ABILITIES AS HIS DI, THINKS OUR HERO, THEN PERHAPS HE COULD GET OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT]

What the hell are you on about?

[didorothy]

[smirk!]

I think the voice is saying I'm better than you.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

Over my dead body.

[didorothy]

...You're a zombie.

[trying so hard not to laugh]

[theguv.livejournal.com]

You asking for a demonstration?

[trying very hard not to hit you]

[didorothy]

No, no, of course not, Guv. Over your dead body and all.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[glares, then pouts]

You're a right bastard, you know that?

[GENE'S TONE WAS LIGHTHEARTED, BUT HID A DEEPER FEAR -- A FEAR OF HIS ACTUALLY HARMING THE MAN WITH WHOM HE SPOKE, OF RIPPING HIM LIMB FROM LIMB AND FEASTING ON THE FLESH OF THE GENRE SAVVY DI WHO THOUGHT HIMSELF INDESTRUCTIBLE]

If he doesn't shut it, someone's getting their arse kicked.

[didorothy]

[rubs his neck nervously]

[But Gene has harmed his DI already, hasn't he? AND SAM TYLER REMEMBERS!]

[ignoring Blessed kthnx]

We'll be fine, Guv. We just have to find out what's causing this. Other than the Twins, that is, as I don't think they'll be most willing to undo this. There's always a cause in horror movies. Find that and we should be able to change things back.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[snorts] My first guess would be the Frenchie, seeing as he offed me. Don't see how I could come back like yesterday's lunch and looking about as such otherwise. I'd bet my badge it's the bloody Twins, though, and that skirt they hang out with. [frowns] Think its connected to the desert?

[didorothy]

If it is, we have to go out there. ...Dying should have cleared the infection for you. I, however, have been a lot less careless with my life, and am thus still infected.

[rubs at his neck again]

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[he sees that nervous twitch of yours, Sam, and he doesn't approve]

Seeing as I'm being followed by a group of shambling dead cheetahs, I don't think you need to go out there. I can handle it myself.

[didorothy]

[well it's Gene's fault, so whatever]

Last time, Guv, you were kidnapped for a week. I don't fancy a repeat.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[point]

I wasn't dead last time, either.

[didorothy]

[sharply]

No, you weren't.

[theguv.livejournal.com]

[narrows his eyes]

Meaning I've got the advantage.

[didorothy]

[straightens out his shirt sleeve rather roughly]

Fine.

[and his eyes flicker yellow]