001 - A New Challenger Approaches

[mercwamouth]

[Deadpool arrives in the plane, notices his change in surroundings.]

Hm. That can't be good.

[His thoughts turn to vague memories of a shop and two twins.]

Last time I fall asleep during a Stephen King marathon. Those kids from "The Shining" give me nightmares every time. Not as bad as the Olsen Twins, though...

[He begins to ascertain his location.]

Hm... I'm getting... crossover vibes? Maybe it's another event. Nah. Definitely seems like this place isn't a world I'm familiar with. I'm communicating in text form without yellow boxes or bubbles. So cold.

[A startling revelation comes to him.]

Oh no... fan fiction!? I can only take so much! Listen, you, my other writers were important paid people. You on the other hand are just some bored college student with too much free time. I could kill you if I needed to.

[Trust me, this will be fun. Besides, you're not doing anything until your next series starts up anyway.]

Well... I suppose I have some time to kill. And I guess I would probably just end up watching most of these guys on Cartoon Network anyway.

[There's also a bar over there.]

Hm... OK. I trust you for now. But if I end up sleeping with one of those dudes who look like chicks, you're a dead man.

[Deadpool heads into the bar where he is astonished to find a very colorful cast of characters, some of which he recognizes from his time watching TV in Japan, though he can't place most of them. He slides up a part of his mask so that he may take a drink. His disfigured face is partially revealed for the duration. He has a seat and begins looking for someone to offer him a... warmer welcome.]

I think I like the way you make me think, sir.

Comments

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

You are here. Is there any reason I should not be?

[mercwamouth]

Well, you're not a hot chick and you're not giving me money and you're not getting pummeled by me. Is there any reason you should be here?

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

[haha, funny you should say that to her!] Hot ... chick? Why should I want to be a burning infant poultry?

[mercwamouth]

[Wondering how far he can take this]

It's a great American pastime. You ought to try it. Very popular with the ladies.

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

[not that far]

There is no such pastime in any of the history of the American continent on Earth. And even if there were, why should I care for the interests of humans?

[mercwamouth]

[Notes the random changes in appearance]

OK, I can't possibly be this drunk yet.

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

[she does that. a lot. don't mind her]

According to my scans, you are no inebriated, no. Why do you suppose you would be?

[mercwamouth]

You keep changing appearance. What is that some kind of appearance changer thingy? I used to have one of those. Not sure what happened to it though. Probably got ret-conned or something.

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

Ah, that. My body is a composite here, made of an agitated protoplasm that allows me to take human shape in order to better move and converse with those on the Plane. These projections are not my real self.

...what do you mean by 'ret-con?' I am not familiar with that terminology.

[mercwamouth]

Good rule of thumb, if something I say makes no sense, you're better off just ignoring it.

So... uh... what are you and whatever you are, are you the female form of what you are?

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

Very well.

I am the TARDIS. And I am female, but these shapes are not my true self, no.

[mercwamouth]

[Snort]

Tard.

[Chuckle]

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

[she doesn't get it]

[mercwamouth]

Tell me... If I sent you a message, and put your name in the subject, and you sent a reply, what would the subject be?

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

I do not understand. What message would you send me?

[mercwamouth]

Yeah, that setup was a bit much wasn't it? Though your slow response lets me still make the same punch-line, reTARDIS.

[Dies of laughter. Figuratively, of course.]