013

[madamemoiselle]

{Amshel is back, all is well in Diva's world. Or, that is, as "well" as it normally is. She's opted for a blood transfusion today, so Diva is sitting in a chair with one arm out and taking in a steady drip of blood. It's not something that happens often (especially when Amshel is encouraging her to just go 'hunting'), but it's a nice, peaceful alternative. It's really too bad it's not practical.

But in any case, Diva's lap is full of photographs. Some look very old, while some look more recent. There's not a lot that can be done during the process, so Diva has decided to take a stroll through her memories, humming contently as she flips through the photographs with a fond expression.}

Comments

[madamemoiselle]

But I wouldn't even count Martin, though. Martin was a traitor, and not like Solomon is. Martin was genuinely trying to kill and hurt me. So I don't feel so bad about his death.

[contract_star]

Why would he do such a thing? I thought you Chevalier were...well, connected to you. With Solomon at least...well, love can make people blind. [Oh-ho doesn't he know it D:]

[madamemoiselle]

...{She quiet for some time, just shuffling through her photographs wordlessly} For power, I guess. They are connected to me. But Martin saw that as a bad thing. He figured that if he could kill me, then the burden I create would be gone and he would have his power.

{More shuffling} It's a sad story that happened long ago.

[contract_star]

...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked.

[madamemoiselle]

No, don't apologize. It brings back those sad memories, but, really, they're just memories.

{She rubs her fingers over a photograph lightly before she hands it to Hei. It's a handsome, approaching middle-aged man} I said that I'd been betrayed before, though, you remember? That's him. Josef Mengele. {Laughs a little} I was really, madly in love with him.

[contract_star]

[Looks at the photo and frowns just a bit.] Isn't that a Nazi uniform?

[madamemoiselle]

{Nods} He was the Chief Medical Officer of Auschwitz.

[contract_star]

...Is that why you don't like doctors?

[madamemoiselle]

Oh, no, that was there long before I met Josef. Joel was a doctor, so I just associate doctors with bad things usually. {She takes the photo back to just stare at his face coldly}

No, Josef made me...have problems with trust. I was with him for 11 months. For 9 of those months, he lied to me. Josef said that he loved me, that I was important to him, that I was a person. It turns out that it was just words to coax me into giving up my blood and body for him to research too. I believed in him. Died for him. I loved Josef with all of my heart.

{She laughs kind of tiredly} All for nothing, I guess.

[contract_star]

[Debates, debates, debates. Then, after awhile,] I trusted Amber, too. Even though I tried not to. I don't know how long she was lying to me, even. I liked her. I thought she was different from other Contractors.

[He shrugs, feigning nonchalance.] It just goes to show that they're all the same, I suppose.

[madamemoiselle]

{Glances up to him with a question on her lips, but shakes her head slightly instead, smiling slightly} I don't want to believe they're all the same, though. What if I was wrong, after all? What if I missed someone like Sam? But at the same time, Sam is...really terrifying in a way that he doesn't even know. You know, Sam and Josef, they're the same age? Or roughly. Their heart beats sound about the same age.

{Softly} But those are the games humans play, I guess. They call me, and probably Hei too, cruel and heartless, but...it seems like they return it double at times.

[contract_star]

Humans are all different, but Contractors aren't human. It was stupid of me to trust her.

Anyone is capable of betrayal, given the right circumstances. But...I don't really think that Sam would...betray you. [He's only sort of saying it for her sake.]

[Thinks of Huang and nods.]

[madamemoiselle]

Several people have said that now and I don't think so either. But doubt is unfortunate. I never thought Josef would hurt me either. So, even if I'm trying to be a better person, this is also a kind of test to see how badly Josef damaged me after all, I guess. It's not terrible, but it's the kind of worry that's just kind of always there, you know.

{But then she looks up to Hei with a little smile} I still don't really believe in the things about Contractors you tell me, though. You said they're cold killers, but if Hei were so cold, he wouldn't have shared a little bit of his story with me. It's empathy, isn't it? Killers don't have that.

[contract_star]

I suppose the fact that you worry at all is proof that you're changing.

[Is thinking of Misaki now.] I'm...different, I guess.

[madamemoiselle]

{Smiles} I know that I am. My Chevalier have noticed. It's not like I'll be able to let go of my past for as long as I'm alive, but...I have a chance now. I think it's always been there, but...No one has ever really cared before. People either hated me automatically for what I was or just simply ignored it without a care. So I never saw a reason to change. But...it's better this way.

{Diva stands carefully, setting the photos in the chair, and tugging the transfusion equipment with her so that she can stand in front of him. With the 'not-receiving-blood' arm, she reaches up to delicately touch his chest with a serious expression} Don't say that with such a sad expression. If Hei thinks that he's a Contractor, that's not so bad, but you shouldn't believe what other people tell you about Contractors. Ne, what if a lot of Contractors are the way they are because that's what they think they should act like? For me, it doesn't matter.

Contractor, human, they both sound exactly the same right here.

[contract_star]

[Takes a step backward automatically when he sees her coming toward him, but he lets her touch him. He stares at her rather wide-eyed. For a long time he says nothing.]

But it's...not that simple. Even if Contractors do have emotions, their logic means that they treat them differently than humans do. And they don't care about killing. [And Misaki is now one of them.]

But...[And now he's thinking about how he has acted like a Contractor for the past ten years based on watching them and watching his sister. So Diva's logic might apply to him, at least. But Diva definitely can't know about all of that, since even he doesn't really register it himself.]

Like I said...I'm different. But...[he smiles] thank you.

[madamemoiselle]

Is that all? Logic? {She smiles as she goes back to the chair, a whimsical kind of tone making it hard to tell whether she's serious or not}

Ne, I bet if I could talk to them, I could make them logically regard those emotions. The killing part, well, I couldn't do anything about that because I'm kind of in that same position, but emotions are important. It's not "logical" at all to disregard them.

[contract_star]

[Watches her a moment, expression unreadable.]

Emotions aren't important to survival, though. That's all a Contractor cares about. They can assess any situation logically, without emotions getting in the way.

[madamemoiselle]

They are important, though. If you're scared, then you'll be willing to fight back. If you're happy, you won't do anything rash that could kill you. They're important.

[contract_star]

[Looks away.] I guess.