realityshifted

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darker than black (d1) hei/li shengshun

012

[And here's Hei again, back to his normal blank and emotionless self--except maybe for a vague sort of frustration--sometime after this. Oh, and he's also pretty much covered in blood. It's spattered all over the front of his coat and the sleeves are largely drenched in it. There's some spatter on his face and neck as well, though he doesn't really seem to notice. He's also holding his knife--also covered in blood and dripping it onto the floor, adding to the mess.]

[He looks around, a bit surprised by his surroundings, then just shrugs.]

So much for that.

[And he sets about trying to clean off his knife with a rag, muttering about drycleaning.]

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No, the kid was a hostage. Their next victim I expect. [Shakes his head.] I tried to get to her in time, but there were too many of them.

[puts his hand over his head, tilting his head back, and sighs] It's too much.

[That earns Sam a glare.] Too much? For who, exactly?

[pulls his hand away and looks levelly at Hei] Too much to care about for me to manage to give a damn that you just slaughtered that lot of people, murderers or not.

[Stares back at Sam for awhile, but then he just sighs and looks away, looking tired.]

[Quietly,] This is why you shouldn't be so quick to call people your friends, Mr. Tyler, especially when you don't know what they really are.

Edited 2008-05-23 00:21 (UTC)

People aren't 'what's. And I'm not going to... [shakes his head] I don't care enough to argue. Just... don't be such a coward about people.

A coward?

[Hei is quiet for a long time, staring at Sam. Eventually he slips his knife into its sheath. He's not so much angry with Sam as he's just...cold.]

Do you remember when I told you what happened to South America?

[he gives a half laugh, running his hand over his face, and then he sits down] I do. Go on.

[Hei turns away from Sam, and starts speaking into the sky. Pay attention, Sam, this is the most Hei is ever going to say about himself in one sitting.]

I was there five years ago, along with my sister and some others. The place was a warzone. Countries and organizations, all vying for control over Heaven's Gate, dispatching all the Contractors they could get their hands on. When they discovered the Meteor Shard, the fighting only got bloodier. The Shard can amplify a Contractor's powers. [He pauses, closing his eyes.] You can imagine what that means, though I doubt you can imagine what it's like to actually witness it.

There was...a young woman working with my team. Amber. [Long pause as he tries to keep his voice under control.] She was helping us. I thought she was. She was a Contractor, but she seemed...decent. Nice. I trusted her. She promised me that when the war was over, me and her and my sister would run away. Find some quiet place. China, maybe.

[Long silence, and he's shaking now with the effort of staying in control. His hands have balled into fists.]

She betrayed us. My entire team was ki--no, not even killed, they were annihilated. Amber took the Meteor Shard. I don't know what happened after that, but when I woke up I was in some random village in Vietnam. South America had been swallowed up. And my sister was gone. I still don't know what happened to her. The last thing I remember is Bai standing in the middle of the Gate with Amber beside her, and Amber holding the Meteor Shard. And smiling at me.

[Softly,] Bai was all I had left.

And the moral of the story? [...yeah, Sam's being a bit of a jerk. 'kay, he's a lot of one] That the people who cared about died because you trusted the wrong people? That, from this, we can assume that trust leads to people getting hurt?

[Okay, Sam, that's the second time you've thrown the whole Bai-Hei-Amber thing back in his face. Have an angry Contractor grabbing you by the throat before you can blink.]

Do you trust me not to hurt you right now then, Mr. Tyler?

[laughs] What does it matter? If it hurts too much, I can just shoot myself in the head and come back in three days.

[Not letting go.] You can. My team, South America, they can't. What the hell about that do you find funny?

I think it's funny that you're under the impression that you're the only one who has been betrayed like that. That you're the only one who's had that loss, felt that guilt - that you're the only one who feels. I mean, how arrogant is that, the idea that your suffering and 'inner emotional turmoil' is worse than anyone else. That they can't understand it because it's just so massive. Word of advice, Li: no one understands, because no one ever can understand anyone else. We're all alone, every last one of us, and everyone goes through horrible things - worse than what you went through, not as bad, just as bad, whatever - and they deal with it. So next time you decide to tell your tragic story - and it is tragic! It's so horrible that I can't manage to feel a thing for it, 'cause it's too much horror to imagine - keep in mind that you get a lot more sympathy if you're not talking to a copper who just told you he's too tired to scrounge up any caring, particularly not for a man wearing a blood-stained shirt.

[...damn you and your Mad Monologuing Skills, Sam! Hei finally lets him go and steps away, deflating and suddenly looking as tired as he feels. He's silent for a long, long time.]

[Then, voice quiet and level] I never said it was worse than anyone else's--only that you wouldn't be able to understand. I'm not that arrogant.

The fact is, Sam, that every time, every single time I think I can put my trust in someone, they end up dead because of it, or they let me down, or they betray me. I'm not trying to sound dramatic. That's just the way it is. Liars and traitors, like I've told you.

Trust is a luxury you can't afford when you live like I do. It's easier for cops, because you have to trust your team, the people in your city, that justice works. But you can't compare cops with assassins.

You can when you have my team.

And there, another probably inappropriate joke. But it helped. That's pretty much all you've got to fight suffering with. Laughter and other people.

[Smirks just a little.] Contractors tend to have difficulty with both of those. [Yes, he did just admit to what he is.]

[stares, for just a moment]

Well then, I guess you'll have to just suck it up and work a bit harder.

[Stares back at him, then he smiles tiredly and gives a resigned sigh.]

No matter what I say or do, you're not going to change your mind, are you?

I'm known for my dedication. Or my pig-headed stubbornness, depending on who you're talking to.

[Shakes his head, still smiling tiredly.]

You're strange.

[also looks a fair bit tired] I'm known for that, too. If I act crazy, it's "Oh, the Boss is having an episode again. Someone get Annie." Bit relieving, actually.

Annie...is she alright? I think I saw her during the fight with Diva.

[a flicker as he realises that she's dead (a sort of, "Oh, so that's why I'm depressed!" moment. Hey, it's good to know why!)] Don't worry about it.

[Long pause.]

It's been a rough week.

...They're coming back now, though. Misaki's back, too.

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didorothy - 2008-05-25 02:35 (UTC) - Expand

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contract_star - 2008-05-25 02:39 (UTC) - Expand

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