02- From Bad to Worse

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Jack appears on the Astral plane, his coat gone. The front of his shirt is covered in blood, and he looks more dazed than anything, half wondering half stumbling. He mumbles to himself as he walks, an almost blank look on his face] Their dead. I couldn't even save Rhys for Gwen, and now so man people are dead. Why doesn't the blood come off......

[ooc: *cough* Do to his recent interaction with Simm!Master, Jack's mental state has gone from somewhat bad but manageable, to  a few steps from just loosing it completely. Which, of course, reflects on his reality, which in turn makes things worse >>

Oh, and just for the record; any post before this is basically pre!return, so he'll be his normal self there u-u]

Comments

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

That's basically what being an officer is. No matter how terrified you may be, you can't let anyone know or see. If you do, everything falls to Hell.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

They did just fine when I left them, back when it was all four.

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

A group can operate without the leader temporarily, yes. You came back, though? If all of them were still alive and they saw you break down like this, they'd feel it as well. A terrified leader terrifies the troops.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

What about a leader who's a coward?

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

Then that leader had better learn how to carry on despite their cowardice or step down.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

Once a coward always a coward, that's what they say...

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

Captain - that's enough. Self-pitying and wallowing in depression won't solve a bloody thing.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

What the hell does it matter?! [i's the first time he's raised his voice; anger is clear on his face, though he doesn't look directly at the Brigadier] Time doesn't pass while I'm here, I don't age....I could be gone a hundred fucking years and they wouldn't notice!

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

[Brig is unaffected by the anger, not even raising his tone or putting the slightest inflection in it]

It matters if you don't recuperate. If you stayed here years but didn't attempt to improve, what good would it do for them? To have you return, suddenly with a hundred years of self-loathing and self-contempt that, to them, came within the blink of an eye.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

I'll just have to get better then, learn to pretend again.

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

[the Brig nods]

That's usually all that can be done, Harkness.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

Just....give me time.

I'll come back to them, I always do.

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

Good. Take a few days leave.

[he pulls out his swagger stick and idly thumps it in his hand]

But I better not hear about you going about self-pitying again. Understand me, Captain?

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[he actually manages to smile at this, though it's only a ghost of his usual grin. still, he stands and salutes the Brigadier, standing at attention as before] Yes, sir.

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

[he salutes back]

And try not to beat yourself up too much over the past. It's never productive.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

It's something I haven't quite learned yet, even at my age.

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

[and now he has his hands on his hips]

Some of us are just more gifted in it than others, really.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

I seem to make up for it in abundance of talent in other areas, however.

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

[brow raise]

And that would be?

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

I'll give you one guess, Brigadier; it doesn't have much to do with the army, though.

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I'm not that good at guessing games, Captain.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[The smile on his lips is the only indication of what he's going to do next; Jack lean in and kisses the Brigadier; deeply, tongue tracing over his lips. He's still smiling as he pulls away] Just think along those lines then, sir.

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

[the Brig sort of stares for a moment afterwards before adjusting his outfit. first the TARDIS, now Harkness, really, this was getting a tad bit too frequent... but then he goes on as if relatively unbothered]

Ah. Yes. Well. A lot of people have some degree of talent in that particular area, Captain. But I think I'll take your word on how talented.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Jack feigns a look of hurt/disappointment] Only take my word on it? It's been a while since I was rejected this outright, Brigadier.....

[barelyemoting.livejournal.com]

[raises a brow, then chuckles] Think of it less as 'rejection' and more of it as 'being a gentleman'. I tend not to do anything with people right after they've had a bit of a loss - doesn't do a thing for recovery.