02- From Bad to Worse

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[Jack appears on the Astral plane, his coat gone. The front of his shirt is covered in blood, and he looks more dazed than anything, half wondering half stumbling. He mumbles to himself as he walks, an almost blank look on his face] Their dead. I couldn't even save Rhys for Gwen, and now so man people are dead. Why doesn't the blood come off......

[ooc: *cough* Do to his recent interaction with Simm!Master, Jack's mental state has gone from somewhat bad but manageable, to  a few steps from just loosing it completely. Which, of course, reflects on his reality, which in turn makes things worse >>

Oh, and just for the record; any post before this is basically pre!return, so he'll be his normal self there u-u]

Comments

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[he doesn't respond at first, eyes seeming to be barely focused on the Doctor] So few left and they died, Doctor. They died and I couldn't save a single life.

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[touches Jack's arm lightly to help him focus] What about Gwen?

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

Alive, in the Hub with Ianto somewhere. he looks down at the shirt, touching it with his other hand; it comes out covered in red, the blood still warm] This is her husband's blood; all I could do was watch him die.

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[looks down at his shirt] A Weevil attack? But you saved them. Your team.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

Two. I couldn't save a single civilian, not one damn person. [he finally looks at the Doctor again, his eyes focusing on him] I'm tired of the death, tired of not being able to rest without being hunted by nightmares.

Where's the Master?

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

You mean all of Cardiff is...? [runs a hand hard over his face] I know, Jack. Believe me, I know.

What? Oh, I dunno. Around here somewhere. Why? Did he have something to do with this?

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

Dead, as far as we could tell. [shakes his head, eyes going unfocused again] I don't even have the choice to take the coward's way out...

He didn't, but I need to see him. He's the only one willing to do it...

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[quietly] There's nothing you can do about it right now. But you tried.

[then he gives Jack a hard look] Willing to what?

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

Tried and failed.

[looks the Doctor straight in the eye, giving him a smile that's just a bit off] Willing to kill me. Over and over until the pain starts to hurt just a little bit less.

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[and the Doctor definitely doesn't like that idea] No. Jack, don't even think about it. Dying isn't going to help.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[the smile only seems to grow] He's done it before, the first time I was here...why not do it again?

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

Jack! [grabs his shoulders] Listen to me. It won't help. It's not going to make the pain go away.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[seems somewhat surprise by the touch, and tries, if somewhat weakly, to pull away] What do you know? Maybe death is the only thing keeping me sane...

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[not letting him pull away] Trust me when I say this is something I do understand. What you need to do is think of something to help. Maybe you can contact the 'me' in your universe.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[frowns at him, though he gives up trying to pull away] How? Took me almost two hundred years to find you last time...

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

Hmm...Oh! I know! Martha. She can contact me. Much easier than last time, hopefully.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[doesn't respond for th longest time, just continues to stare at the floor, expression blank] ......What good would calling you now do?

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

What good is staring at the floor doing? At least do something. Try to help.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[he still doesn't look at the Doctor, just raises the blood-covered hand] I did try to help; this is how it turned out. Do you really think that what Gwen needs right now is the person who couldn't even keep their promise to protect her husband?

[salvagestime.livejournal.com]

[makes a noise that's almost akin to a growl and forces jack to look at him] If I gave up every time I failed, then I would never be able to help anyone.

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

[He seems angry now, the first real emotion he's shown the Doctor today, and roughly shoves at him, the blood smearing on the Doctor's clothes. He doesn't seem to notice] Not all of us are like you! I'm only human Doctor, I wasn't meant to live anywhere near this long; there's only so many times I can be knocked down before I start to think that maybe it's not worth it getting up again!