realityshifted

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doctor who (d1) patricia menzies

[022]

[in the library, Menzies is sitting in a chair with a book in her lap, but that is everything about her appearance today that could be considered somewhat normal. at the moment, she isn't reading the book. in fact, what she is doing right now is staring at the floor as though she expects something on it to be staring back at her. she's even pulled her legs up to curl them underneath her in the chair, like she's in the middle of one of those jokes about the floor being lava]

[anyone who takes a closer look at her will notice a number of other strange factors in her normally-neat appearance, too. she's dressed casually in jeans and a blouse, her hair pulled back, but it's partially falling out of the hair tie, her clothing is rumpled, and her expression is one of weariness mixed with frustration. there are dark circles under her eyes, too. she obviously hasn't been sleeping well, and she looks suspiciously like she might have been napping in those clothes recently]

Damnit, what is that? What the hell are you!?

[also, she is shouting at the floor. because she is quite possibly at her wit's end at this point and has apparently ceased to care whether someone might overhear. either that or she's just assuming no one is around--incorrectly, as it turns out. still, from the state of her, wise characters might not approach her today...but then again, is wisdom really a strong suit for most residents of the Plane?]

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[Quietly, he listens to her talk, and he definitely looks worried the more she goes on. He moves closer to her, putting an arm around her shoulders to pull her in close in an attempt to comfort her.] That...explains the last time I saw you.

["Concerned" doesn't begin to cover how he feels about what she's going through. He wonders why the noise and nightmares are torturing her the way they are. He has nightmares from time to time, too, and after he got Theta, he didn't realize how often he did, though he's never been able to really remember them.] Do you want to try my reality? I...have some paperwork I need to do, and I can do that in my room while you have a nap.

[she lets him, using their new position as an excuse to avoid seeing his face--and to keep her expression from him. she's had nightmares regularly for a long time, too--ever since she started coming to the Plane. but she never remembered them before now. and though he probably doesn't realise it, she meant what she said literally: the nightmare. a single one, over and over again. meaning that for the past several days, she's had three things haunting her together: a frightening nightmare, the sound of gears, and creatures in the floor. she wishes they weren't torturing her either, but as hard as she's been trying not to let them get to her, she can't help it]

[and at his offer, she stiffens, immediately shaking her head] I...no. I don't think that's gonna make a difference. [really, she doesn't want him to see her wake. because it's always the same, and in the end, she's struggling for breath, suffocating in her own mind]

Besides, we'd be wasting a whole thermos of coffee! [she tries for a light tone, glancing back at him with a wan attempt at a teasing smirk]

You're welcome to try, though. [He smiles back at her, hoping that will encourage her more than a thermos of coffee.] Everything worked out pretty well the last time you stayed with me. And I can always reheat the coffee when you wake up. Or we can do try it later when the caffeine's worn off.

[Gently, he presses a kiss to her head.] I can't stop the nightmares, but I can be there for you at the end of them. [He pauses slightly, listening, then he adds with a soft chuckle:] And Theta too.

[she frowns at him and sighs, knowing just from the expression he's making that she's going to end up defeated. managing a wry smile, she says:] You know, most people in a situation like this would probably send a person to a therapist. But not you! I'm...hallucinating...and having a recurring nightmare, and what's your suggestion? Sneak onto a secret military base. Points for originality at least.

[but her expression drops and a shiver runs through her as she hears that scuttling noise again, like whatever it is is right underneath them. she has to force herself not to look, taking a deep breath as she tries to stay calm. it's the proof she needs that leaving is the best option, leading her to burst out:] All right! Fine. We'll try it. [she scowls, glad at least that he's planning to work rather than try to sleep while she is. if it weren't for that, she might still be protesting]

[with that said, she pauses, considering what exactly to plan. but it doesn't take her long to decide] Well, since I've got a feeling if I say later, you won't leave me alone in the meantime, why not now? I 'aven't 'ad much caffeine yet. We'll go when you're ready. [and she turns, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before she pulls herself free of his embrace, standing and closing up the thermos] I'll be right 'ere waiting. [gesturing at the hoodie, she adds:] Don't forget your shirt.

[despite her brusque manner, the kiss was her way of showing how much she appreciates this. because, though she won't admit as much, the sounds in the floor have her scared, and she can't simply escape to Manchester because she knows she's in no state to work. being able to get off the Plane for a while is a relief--even if she is still reluctant to let North see any more clearly how badly this is affecting her]

Hey, why break something that works? Think of it as an invitation. [He gives her hand a reassuring squeeze before starts extracting herself from him, though. He doesn't think she's hallucinating. After all, he's just one person... Someone else may be able to hear the things she's hearing. The kiss, however, speaks volumes for her, and that means far more to him than anyone will ever realize.]

I'm ready now. [He climbs to his feet but looks a little sheepish when she mentions the hoodie.] Oh, uh... That's actually for you.

[He hands it to her as he touches her shoulder, dropping them to his reality before he continues his explanation. It's a good thing he had been in his room when he dropped. Random passerbys are more likely during this time, but they know he and Theta have work to do. The class about AI has homework, a fact that amuses him since he can't remember the last time he actually had to do homework.

The little AI pops up on his desk, but there are no skateboards or anything this time. Just him floating on the edge and saying nothing for now. North gives him a little nod and turns to Menzies as he holds the hoodie out to her.] I wanted you to have this. There...are times where I won't always be able to come and see you. But I want you to have something of mine that you can turn to and hopefully find some comfort in when you're upset or scared. [He's sure it's going to seem way too coincidental, but after they parted, the way she was had just been niggling at his mind and now it's been a few days...]

[A beat.] And if you want, you can borrow one of my shirts to sleep in. Just for a change of clothes. [A small, teasing smile plays on his lips. He doubts she'd want to sleep in those clothes.]

[she's surprised when he brings her back to his reality immediately; she wasn't expecting him to be in a position to do that. Theta's appearance at the desk instead of hovering by North's head is odd, too. but then he's explaining the hoodie, and she's distracted from any questions she might have asked. instead, she gives him a slightly uncomprehending look, not sure how to respond to that. she certainly isn't the type to admit that there are times that something like that might give her comfort--not out loud, anyway. still, she accepts the hoodie from him, pausing and then saying a bit awkwardly:] Thanks.

[but at his next offer, she nods without protest] Good idea. [admittedly, it actually wouldn't be the first time today she's slept in her current outfit, although the first wasn't entirely intentional. not to mention if he hadn't been in such a hurry to bring her here, she could have picked up something from Manchester. but since she figures his shirt will probably fit her like a dress, she doesn't see any reason not to go along with that idea. she's only going to be with North, after all. so she reaches up, starting to unbutton her shirt as she waits for him to get her something else to wear]

[He smiles warmly as she takes the hoodie from him, then turns away to grab her a shirt. He sifts through them, trying to find the longest one he's got while Theta waits patiently on the desk, his back turned so he doesn't see Patricia undress. Doesn't take long to find one, though; it's not like he has a lot.]

Here, I think this'll work.

[It isn't the first time he's seen her undress, so he doesn't act any different as he brings her the shirt. But sometimes he can't stop his eyes from stopping, for the briefest of moments, on the scars from when she was shot. With her shirt open as far as it is now, he can see one as plain as day, and he only looks as discreetly as he can before he's distracted by other things. He comes close, gently catching her hands in his and leans down to steal a kiss.] For the shirt. [He says teasingly.]

[she accepts the proffered shirt] Cheers. [and she kisses him back, smiling faintly in amusement against his lips before she pulls back] Yeah? Well, 'ere's your tip. [and she gives him a second quick kiss, revelling in the normality of their interactions after the harrowing day she's had so far]

[but she pulls away then, calmly continuing to undress. it certainly isn't the first time for either of them, so she's unconcerned about what he sees, and they've even long since discussed Theta. his presence is still a bit harder for her, but she's starting to understand how he both is and isn't a child and that there's no need to attempt to protect him due to a misplaced sense of morality. still, she dimly notices that he's turned away, and that dispels any concerns she might have had anyway]

[she piles her clothing on the floor with the hoodie on top and slips into his shirt. it's certainly less than she usually wears, but in the current environment she doesn't mind] You'd better get to studying.

[she's smirking as she says it, but now that she's calmer, her exhaustion is even clearer in her expression and her posture, and she stifles a yawn]

[While she finishes up, he's getting his work ready on the desk. There's a small pair of headphones connected to his datapad, and he can see Theta's got the assignment already pulled up. Honestly, the assignment's fairly easy, but he has other paperwork to do. Reports for both the Director and a random survey from the Counselor... It's never fun when those roll in. Sometimes those questions get to him. They were stranger much earlier on in the project. The guy's got to get into their heads, after all.]

[Her voice gets his attention again, though, and he turns, a warm expression on his face.] I know, I know... And you--[He moves over to the bed, pulling down the covers]--should be sleeping. I'll be right here when you wake up. Theta can set an alarm for you if you want otherwise I'm letting you sleep for as long as you want. You need it.

[she pauses, considering that offer, and then shakes her head] Nah, not like time is passing anywhere for me. We'll see what 'appens. [her tone is casual, but her expression has darkened. unless by some miracle being in his reality frees her from the nightmare, she knows she won't be sleeping for that long anyway; she's tried. an alarm just seems superfluous]

[but she keeps those thoughts to herself and gets into his bed. with what she hopes is a reassuring smile, she says:] Go ahead and get started. [and she reaches to pull the covers up over her, turning away from him as a sign that he doesn't need to worry about her further]

[and it doesn't take her long to fall asleep. that part isn't the problem--she's badly overtired, and her body is craving rest. so rest she does--for a while at least. but then the new problem the Plane has arranged sets in, and the same nightmare starts once again. outwardly, she begins to toss in her sleep, making faint noises of discomfort. inwardly, a horror story is beginning to play out. she sees a man bending over an autopsy table, his hair long and dark] Who...

[she tosses in her sleep as he turns toward her--and smiles. and she gives a gasp that happens both in the nightmare and outside. because his mouth is full of teeth that are long and needle-like, and his eyes glow a golden yellow. and then she feels herself pitch backward, and suddenly her airway seems to close up] No...!

[that word of desperation is the last she murmurs aloud. she feels like she's drowning now--but there's no water. it's like being plunged back to that day in the library when she had no memories and the air just kept...disappearing. and while her real self is still breathing, that breathing does become shallower and more panicked, her heart rate jumping. in the nightmare, as she struggles for air that isn't there, she can see tattered white wings all around her, their feathers falling. and occasionally the wings allow her to see between them, where there's a layer of surrounding mirrors, and she catches glimpses of a face. tonight, it's York's face. no helmet--his actual face]

[and then the nightmare is over and she wakes, sitting bolt upright in alarm, gasping for the air she couldn't get in the dream]

[He just shakes his head and tucks her in, using that as an excuse to plant a kiss on her head.] Good night, Trisha.

[And then it's to work for him. He keeps his music low despite wearing the headphones, occasionally switching between that and different snippets of audio lectures while he whittles the work away. (Honestly, it's the survey that'll take him the longest of anything he has to do.) But admittedly, he's having a difficult time concentrating. He's trying to listen to Patricia as she sleeps and not exactly accomplishing as much as he usually would. Every part of him sincerely hopes he doesn't hear a thing from her for hours. She looked so worn out--a worn out that he's never seen from her before, even with some of her worst assignments and everything else the Plane has thrown her way. That is, with the exception of the coup that almost killed her, anyway. She needs her rest. He's seen what happens to those who get too little sleep for a long period of time... Though he doubts she'll get any quality sleep, not with the way she's tossing in her sleep. He frowns; it reminds him of their last night together. She did the same thing then, but he didn't think too much of it at the time.

Theta, meanwhile, is concentrating on something that he wants to show North, but North can't look yet. It's a surprise, and he wants to show it to both him and Patricia once she's awake. For the little AI, however, the passing of time seems to go so much slower than for his Freelancer. Working on the surprise is just another way to keep himself occupied while he monitors Patricia and North's statuses, as well as the vibrations outside his room (and thousands of other sub-routines). It'd be bad for all of them if they get caught with a stowaway onboard.

After a few hours have passed, and most of the work has been done (barring bits of time when he's stopped working to check up on her), that's when he hears something. Quietly, he removes his headphones, resting them on the desk, and turns in his seat to listen again. Then he hears it: "No..." and he tenses, a pit growing in his stomach at the same time.]

North, she's--

I know... She was afraid of it happening. [His voice is soft. He doesn't actually need to say it out loud, but he does anyway.] I hoped--[But that's when she sits up gasping, making him both of them jump. A split-second later, North is at her side, his hands on her arms.] It's me, Patricia, it's okay. You're safe!

[Focusing on her helps to stem the growing fear he feels that this has followed her here--and even worse, that he can't do a damn thing about it.]

[it takes her a second to come back from that blind fear and start to realise where she is, and he grabs her before she's fully back with him. and so, her immediate reaction is to tense in terror, pulling back from him, but then she realises who it is and relaxes--though she's still shaking faintly, breathing hard] North... [she closes her eyes, forcing herself to take deep breaths for a moment before she even tries to say anything else]

[once her breathing is a bit more normal, though, she says firmly:] I know. I'm all right. Done this enough times... [and she opens her eyes to look at him again then, trying to school her expression to be composed, but her eyes are still wild from fear] Sorry about that. Y-you should probably get back to work.

[despite her determined attempt to be calm, she can't keep a slight tremor out of her voice. as much as she's trying to hide it, the fear she felt in the nightmare is still very present with her]

[North holds on when she tries to pull away, expecting her to try to break away initially as she does. Once she relaxed, he switches position to sit beside her and hold her.]

Don't worry about me. Not after that. [He gives her a squeeze, his hand gently rubbing her arm to hopefully help calm her down.] I kinda doubt you're all right, especially if that's what you've been going through for the past few days.

[she's tense in his arms, afraid to relax, as if that might cause the wall she's trying to hold between herself and the horrors that are tormenting her to slip and shatter. at his words, she shakes her head, jaw set] It's a nightmare. I can 'andle it. I just...'aven't gotten much sleep lately.

[but the words aren't as strong as she wants them to be. in truth, she's still trying to force the images from her mind's eye, her hands balled into fists against the bed. she pauses, on the one hand wanting to allow herself to give into his comfort, but on the other, even more afraid of what it would mean to acknowledge that she really is not okay]

[in fact, she's so afraid of North and his concern, so overwhelmed by the experience, and so out of her mind with sleep-deprivation that she says, quickly and suddenly:] I shouldn't 'ave come 'ere. Look--it was a good theory. But I should get back to the Plane.

[and she pulls away from him, slipping out of the bed and standing to get dressed]

Edited 2014-10-18 00:51 (UTC)

[North frowns, growing more concerned the more she tries to brush it all off. He can understand her wanting to move away from him--sometimes, she's not the best with physical affection, especially when she's upset. But when she tries to move out of bed, he reaches for her hand.] Wait, Trisha. I know you're upset, but you don't have to run. Just...stay and talk to me. Please.

[Theta looks on, unsure of what to do or say. He wants to help both of them...]

[she stops when he grabs her hand, turning back to him with an expression of shock and desperation] I'm not running!

[the words are sharp--though that's because deep down she knows that's exactly what she's doing. she pauses, struggling with what to say] I just-- [she cuts herself off, trying one more time for normality] I can't stay 'ere, distracting you. I mean, time's still running. And I just need a minute, okay? The end's just... [she pauses again, swallowing hard as she debates whether to tell him. but from the expression on his face, she knows she's trapped exactly where she was afraid of. he isn't going to let her go without explaining] I can't breathe in the end. Okay? [quickly, she adds:] But it's not real. I know that.

[His stomach drops.] It's...not the first time, then. [He continues to hold her hand, but that's it. He's not going to try anything else.]

Trisha, you're not bothering me here. I'm not due anywhere for a few more hours. Theta'd tell me if I needed to go, and I don't. So don't think you're distracting me. [He's always thinking about her anyway in some capacity.] Something like this... [His head shakes from side to side as he lets it drop to his chest.] Something from the Plane is hard to ignore. And you don't need to be alone with it, and you don't have to be okay with it either.

[He pauses, his voice even softer.] I've never seen you this upset before. Real or not, this is hurting you. You were gasping, Trisha.

[she frowns, confused by that question. she doesn't understand that he didn't realise she was having the same nightmare] I told you, it's every time I try to sleep.

[as he calmly invalidates her excuses, she glowers down at the bed, not meeting his gaze. and then she scoffs] Tch. I'm not okay with any of that place's damn tricks. [she looks back up at him now, scowling] But it is not going to win with ridiculous nightmares and eerie noises. [insistent, she repeats:] I can 'andle this.

[but then she sees his face and hears a tone that carries far more meaning than even the words themselves, and her expression softens] North... [she squeezes his hand, her desire to reassure him cutting past her own fear now] It's not... [but she pauses, struggling for words again] It's a reflex. I don't remember the nightmare while I'm 'aving it, so it's like new every time. I can't breathe in the nightmare, so I wake up...like that. But it passes--I'm breathing fine. See?

I'm not okay with it playing tricks on you any more than you are. But you don't have to face this alone, you know. [He covers her hand with his other one.] I can't beat your nightmares back or stop you from choking in the nightmare. The only thing I can do is be here for you when you wake. To chase those images away with a few words. Or even a little music if you want to hear what I'm listening to.

But you shouldn't go back to the Plane. Not yet. You're not panicking about the noises under the floors here. At least that's one less thing.

[she lets him take her hand, her expression growing a little wry] I don't think you could 'ave made that any more obvious. But look, North, there's nothing you've got to do 'ere. I mean, you were already 'ere when I woke up. You did that part. [she eyes him, hoping she can get him to accept her words for once. after all, she doesn't see any point in sitting here watching him worry about something he can't change] All right?

I'm not-- [but she cuts herself off, reducing her reaction to a glare. she knows she was in fact panicking, but she still doesn't like being called out on it. instead of a protest, though, she says sharply:] There aren't noises under the floor here. [but realising what he must mean, her eyes widen] Wait. You want me to stay 'ere even when you go back to work, don't you?

I know, but that doesn't mean I have to stop trying. If anything happened to you, I don't know what I'd... [He stops that train of thought. He doesn't want to think about it for a number of reasons, especially not when this place brings people back from the dead.] We don't know why this started, or how or when it'll end.

[He knows that's partially the exhaustion at play with her sharp response, and her wounded pride doing the glaring. He doesn't return the look.] Exactly, there aren't, so they won't disturb you here if you try to get a few more hours of sleep. I'd like for you to stay, yes. I only have a couple training sessions and a class with Theta, then I can come back. I'd bring us some lovely mess hall food, but we can go back and have a nice meal together. My treat. [He tries to put on a smile, but knowing this is only going to continue... Smiling is the hardest thing he can do right now.]

[she gapes at him at that] North, it's nightmares. Nothing is gonna 'appen to me. [frowning, this time she moves to lean against him, squeezing his hands again. before, she fled his touch because she was afraid of his attempts to comfort her, but now that she's the one trying to comfort him, her actions are completely different] Stop worrying, will you? [she frowns, eyeing his face--and then sighs, resigned] All right. Look, if I've gotta stay 'ere for a couple hours for you to do that? Then I will do.

But I don't fancy my chances of getting back to sleep. [though, despite her words, she pauses to stifle a yawn. still, after that round of the nightmare, the last thing she feels like doing at the moment is trying to sleep again. not to mention she knows that, awake, she could go to the Plane quickly if she heard someone near his room, but asleep she wouldn't be able to. with both of those things in mind, her next course of action is obvious] Got anything to read?

Not here, but elsewhere... [He squeezes her hands back, leaning back against her, and nods. He's no going to think about what could happen in other places. At least here, he can trust she'll be safe from the weirder things in both their lives. (Not that aliens aren't weird...)] Yeah, I'd like that. Thanks, Trisha.

Everything's on my datapad. I'm done with it for now if you really want to read up on UNSC news or the latest Grifball scores. [Really, he'd rather just show her match.] But I think you're better off getting more sleep. We have some sleep aids that help. Some of the soldiers around here get some nasty nightmares--[though probably not on the same scale as hers, but he keeps that to himself]--so it tries to keep the brain quiet and push back when the REM cycle hits. I can get some for you, if you want.

[insistently, she says:] North, don't. We've got no evidence anything's gonna 'appen, okay? Unless you think something's really gonna come out of the floor after me. [there's sarcasm in her tone, a sign that she considers that notion ridiculous--though that's less because it's out of the realm of possibility and more because she assumes the noises only she can hear must be hallucinations] But...that's decided, then.

[at his not-terribly-veiled ulterior motives, though, she rolls her eyes] Why do I get the impression you'd rather not give me a choice? I did try that back in Manchester, you know. [quickly, before he can protest, she adds:] But I know what you're gonna say--future medicine. Still, I dunno what you're expecting, but if it means that much to you... [she pauses--and then gives him a long-suffering sigh] Fine. I'll give it a go.

[she's a little hesitant to agree to that course of action, considering the sleeping pills she took back home caused her to fall asleep and experience the nightmare multiple times, which is about the last thing she wants right now. but, she reasons, at least if she's in a deep enough sleep she should stay silent through it. and between North's expression right now and that consideration for his safety, she's willing to agree to the plan]

[He decides to keep his opinions to himself where the things under the floor are concerned because yeah, they just might come out of the floor. But voicing it would give the possibility strength, so...he doesn't. He would rather it be a ridiculous idea.]

Good. [He smiles faintly and gives her his datapad, his fingers touching her hand before he pulls away.] I'll be right back. It won't take me long.

[And off he goes to borrow some from Maine. They both know what it's like to deal with AI at night. Not that north sees that as a problem; he certainly has had other sleep issues ever since he found the Plane. When he's not with Patricia, comforting Theta actually helps him sleep in the long run.]

[Soon enough, he's back with a few sleeping pills and quietly closes, then locks, the door behind him. Have I missed anything? [He's teasing. There's not much going on on the ship and she's still there.]

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